Stay open to hallucinating plentitude of impulses

Contemplate with terror and delight, own endlessly ramifying contradictions

Revelation of impersonal energies experienced in the intense activity of

apparently nothing.

Affinity for the debasefd in imagery, materials, proceedures

Nothing is either quite subjective or objective

Produce sheer double binds

Art of cosmic pratfalls--pratfreefalls

Ache, like an ache to laugh, without issue

Sarcastic shamanism

pressured sense of self BOTH as coherent and as erratic aleatory force.

Powers, mandates, stsyetms, sending signals, transmitting messages and

being tapped.

These messages from abroad, compulsive but only most slippery, feinting, recondite meaning.


Instead of a muse-- A POTATO!

Repetition of identical figurative elements (phrases)

Empty , compulsive pattern of unthinking repetition-reiteration

Conventions within which, riven by sharp interruptions of accidental

Inflect with compulsive need to interpret or construe-- that cloud or corrode the object, masking it's 'real' nature

But this corrosive aspect is no loss or deciet, but a wild emancipation of vision.

A strange concurrence of received codes and latent indeterminate forces.

Only a paradisal plenum-- rather than possible realityt-- of meaning matters.

Dots (words) both are means of conjuring forth a picture, also riddle and destroy it.

Dots (words) come to represent corruption of some never-to-be-known Ideality, as it necessarily falls into working elements and physical dross.

Experience the inside mind.


as the land I want to go to.

deep space.

Object is to evoke learned ignorance

Usually in a play, there is a problem, and you solve it, and everything is ok.

But: all problems are part of a web. Nothing is ever solved, just give a local illusion of calm, which is real blindness.

What am I after?

Something that eludes the rational (which is blindness, ie. localness) Yet copies the moves of rationalness, so as to REALLY undermine it. And that copy is informed by other codes, other grids, than the mere local. Another grid suddenly POPS over the last one.

So either a theater that HEWS to theme, that demonstrates (and suffocates) or a theater in which other grids suddenly are applied.

My life is IN the buzz

Ideas come from the buzz.

I'm not Richard, but a buzz manifestation, thre buzz is my home,

the situation I am in is a discarded husk, don't cew on it, see OTHER>

The play is a probe of bees amidst grids. Subject arises, coagulates, and sinks away. . .to BUZZ

make set motel or hotel, awful, transcended

Transcend the awful or the now

through 'meaninglessness' in terms of going codes.

People want meaning

to re-inforce their position in flux.

I too tend to say 'not clear"-- but that's when meaning isnb't played with but fixated on and it's implications and extentions into play aren't grasped.

But best is a PLAY with meaning

"feel" like you feel when it's meaningfull

without being conditioned and gaving world so limited.

Or-what's it about? Nothing? No. Inbetween nothing and a thing. (Catagory three)


Resonance. Center is everywhere. Margin is nowhere.


What environment is this responding to?

I can reject the environment it responds to! I don't want tio 'certify' that environment.

Give up effort. Write from center of effortless expansion.

Only goal is you, effortless expansion, only arises from within, only non-seeking can it come.

The now.

Any attempt to grasp the incomprehensible hinders

(don't screw up the brow with effort , to AIM, just be in the dispursion, relaxed)

Every point has density of expanded to all

as if center goes to outside again and again

amdf outside is so re-packed to center, like heart beat?

So play pulsates> Item: fills out: new item: fills out; new item; fills out. . .

God is vast point, God expands by making points re-vast

like mandela, like heart, like torus

God is potentia, WE pull things out for him to re-vastify

To STRAIN is to cut down to tunnel vision. But to 'wide', effortless...

Just relax effort, so you inflate to globe head (from inside, all your thought-strainings)

pushes world away,

your acts FLOATED by inner expansion

Open the chest book.

Allow inflatedself-absence

to float acts into the world

REAL world (not one we live in , by conceptualizing and perceiving) is symbol for non-fear, non dream-construct.

Real it by light superimposition. That 'being here which is out of 'here'.

Let's be an erruption of source.

Whereas dream world clogs the expansive flow.

When a meaning triumphs over others

Meaning dies. Only is meaning alive if meaning hovers, weaves in and out with many others.

Meaning is 'man' made, if it's expressable.

Ok. But see how it immediately splits, self-contradicts, meanders.

So: meaningless is all meanings in play.

What's it about? Everything.

Normal notion is that art celebrates beautiful, harmony.

But. Art reveals gaps and holes and absence in un-beautiful where beauty enters- awkward,

True that life as we daily live it isn't meaningless. We decide to choose,

family, god, creativity, as values.

We choose, family or all men are brothers

Make self achieve or do unto neighbor

realize potential or have no ambition selfishness.

If we have a theme, then we highlight one chosen meaning.

But, if all meanings are juggled (as they are by history) and one LIVES in the space between those juggled values, between those moments of committment,

then the play is about the surge of energy that comes

that takes over and acts through you.

What's it about? The enetrgy that acts through you.

That's isn't 'yours"


the solidity of a projection in which we live.

Still live in the projection

but don't LIVE it.

Only as a script we must honor.


can be a tone, a 'take' on reality that covers things and their relations (which is obscurity, and therefore makes projections even more fixed, as we strain to see and find the meanings that underlie them)



can be a non-take, an omni-perspectiveness, a dsance of tones

that cuts cords that tie projections to 'earth'.

So projects fly and ground is revealed, pulsating, throwing up more bjevts, and more, and more.

Choice between tone consistency

or dance in-consistency.

That's why I love two musics,

The yes-but of illumination


sink into the rich loam.

"VOICE:" (depth)

Sleep is sink into a state of inner expansion. MY VOICE COMES.

Once I had an experience. Turned inside out.

Play scenes against cosmologies. Poe's EURIKA (repeat phrases in it) Suares,

Strindberg, etc) If PAUL, for instance, repeat it's phrases also? Try re-writing Pre-Soc, Poe, Gnostic, to "sweet loop". Take PAUL and end units on a repeated phrase. Loop arises, then new phrase loops)


Dare do what you want

write just roots of brain rush

place to place (imagine different places, not a sustained set)

The Derridian project: all text (giving a meaning to the world) falls short. So, all said fails. Do a said, therefore, that radically includes it's failure. More and more said? More and more a prison of the partial is built. One is cut off from the whole by the said. More walled in by the said.

One tries to explain the world to oneself, yet saying drifts one into error. But we must SAY to BE. So to BE is to fall.

The split

between experience (signified) and naming (signifier). To make sensation into experience it must be knowable by retention of earlier experience, which remember is a distortion, so now it's doubled in distortion, yet that must be done, so make the distortion so EVIDENT one needn't feel comitted to it!

Each thing is a reference to something else, which is a reference to something else which is a. . .

Catagory three?

Thirst, taken wisely

Thirst lived as desire (ignorance, misery

Thirst lived as compassion (wisdom, bliss

Desire : realizing it's objects is non-arrival.

(If play succeds, non arrival. If happiness comes, non-arrival)

Thing is to keep moving THROUGH things!


(keep changing locale of sentences)

The point of art

Is to find new aspects of the world

It can be seen (made) like this, also.

It is inexhaustable in its ways of being put together

No WAY of being is itself, remember. It is tie-joint of all other ways. Infiltration of the rule.

Don't work to purify a vision, but to celebrate continual discovery of new leads to not it's point.

If a light bulb explodes in the head, it shows how a thing is mixed through by all other.

Sound, not image.

Normally everything works to specify, but all sound is overtone generating which is true to grid reality.

You can't control it, you can;'t make it happen. The minute you control it it's less inclusive, controling it is narrowing it down to a tiny part. Mastery and power is self limitation. Purposeful, selective, isolates from the whole. Yet pure randon openess is also a limitation-- to that particular modality of randomness and openess.

So must be all, both-- focus and non-focus.


Which is a special stratagy of control, choice, always undercut.

The image, undercut (toss it off so fast? Change locale? Each shot different)

Look deep, but don't then try to focus. DE-focus, let's something else come in.Remember rehersal experience in Houston, rehersal hall, defocusing on BOLDFACE, and planels in the room quivered and I didn't name the quiver)

Don't be in the picture (that arises in the mind) Be back in that non-self that projects it. This instant is the only time there is-- as soon as you go into the picture, you are out of this real time.


is being connected to a certain way of thought. Flowing from it

Everything 'valuable' in life (what we call valuable, haha) is a construct

(fantesy-illusion) . So make it play not prison. Goal is getting to generating center of that spun web, yet make it not a goal or it becomes a prison, and what's more you're already there, so de-strain the effort muscles of the brow.

Give all meaning over to the emptiness of borderline, where constructs arise out of the void or trama and seperation. Magnetic fields.

Derrida takes subject and disolves it.

AS OPENS WOUNDS, something pours and gushes out.


Man is an open system

Sexuality and language, co-dependent: open system is a crossroads.

Trapped in web of language, trapped in web of desire. I want a good review? That doesn't express my yearning for joy, it's a bad substitute I make do with.

Life task, to find joy-- not gratification (which is linked to bad substitutes) Turn thirst toward compassion, away from desire.

On the one hand there is nothing but the knowing subject (the constructor of illusions)(Play) On the other hand that subject derives from an alien significance that transcends and overwhelms it, that empties it of meaning (the unconscious).

So, don't let YOU play ('games' with rules for winning, shuffle what is, power that 'wins)

But let UNCONSCIOUS play (discombobulate, create, bring to light, to coagulation)


not to empower self,but to let unconsciouds play (havoc with self)

disolve desire (power to gain)

replace with compassion (let things EXPAND to new scale, where discovery is in opening gaps)

Not in achiving aim.

Expansion through relationship with other. Be widened.

Take what's normally there and intensify it! (That means holes appear in it!

Read Breton, after a day of TV watching because about to move.

So lost touch with the mutil-aspect. But Breton restores it (the manifesto)

Ring of associations

Multiple grid being


uni-being (humanism)

The word 'creates' (coagulates) out of chaos... being.

But enlightenment is to realize that word isn't what it is.

So language introudues man to 'absence-ism"

so good language is what makes itself


Language as instrument, not world

Secret message-- THIS ISN'T REAL



"somebody thinks-- oh, it's night-- and the repetition mechanism

shuts down for an elegant six or seven hours

Somebody thinks-- oh, it's raining...

Art is good cause it builds a world you know is not real

Suddenly realized, a reversal Oh?

Training to realize this is not real.

Connections, not correspondences

Weather =act. corresponds?

No, conection of disparate items. Syncronisity?

It happened that at the same time...

a new configuration

Old: its signioficance of storm and fight

New: storm and rest.

just yoke. . .

disolves the world.


Discover law of life?

law of singularity This day in Oct. a door opens and falls off its hinges.

Celebrate this law, it MEANS itself, so make a cerimony on it.

We exist under the sign of the uncertain

(rather than illusion)

Principal, intrerfere not with life

Take angle to it


that fluctuate

through little pieces of themself

art, imitates itself


consciousness, be not into piicture

but in where things pour from


consciousness turbluence

speeding more and more

scan faster=turbluence=deep connection

life is turbulence, nuance

scanned and allowed to be

chunked into consciousness

but art

tries to amplify nuance

to shift consciousness

(change one's seat, so you get different view

to see life 3-

circle subject *(life)

heretofore, life knows

life as order out of chaos (supressing chaos, making it outside)


life is chaos peeking grid, leaving tokens.

describe object

vs describe describing


DO describing: is you describe, what object appears?

Don't describe the known, differently


create new material to be known

Most novels seek new way to describe what we feel and experience

Im interested in feeling or experiencing

something different

That can only be done by

not describing

because tools for describing

are pre-honed to what-is

What matters is

being in flow of ideas


everything that arises is empty flush point

through which everything flows (all conditioned but also UN-


Every moment RELEASES a work of art

No effort: conditioned and un-conditioned

Don't say anything smart

Just cry out, projectile

Mother: cheery language

father: matter of fact, supress other

Neither like projectile of soul's rhythm

Prohectile, hurtling

Going so fast through space, just some fragments adhere to one.

Only the unconditioned can adhere is the speed is great

worlds without ground.

We are self-enclosed system, respond not to input object

but to fluctuation in pattern of total field

as it matches our field

multiple worlds possible within turbluent flow of natural drift

surf rider on wave of turbluence

Every automonous system is operationally closed

results in universe of openness:

infinitely possible and mutually interpenetrating worlds

innumerable universes tremble at tip of Buddah's hair

(world of bee, angel, table, human-- each cognates different)

Participation, cognates mediates, between noise and rapture.

Mind is in whole web

Sleep into it

what is mind?

It is imenent in pathways coupling organism and environment

Imagination is step-down transformer.

allows self to be JOLTED by unconditioned (ineffable)

If we are selfcontained systems

triggered by pattern fluctuation

then outside


ineffable, unconditioned


unconditioned, ineffable




The real is the pinpoint particular of the moment

while the linguistic meaning is always a fictional construct which is called a universal

Each moment says "It does not yet appear what we shall be".

The world of what is really real is the result of the NONexistence of any independent self-established substance. It is EMPTY of self-existence because of the relational organization that makes all integrating possible. The emptiness of any self-established entity is what the world is full of, nothing exists but only in relationship to others.

The tremendous experiences of this, not an intellectual matter but a full and vivid participation in the life of the whole world, experiencing it's uninterrupted flow directly, without intervention of conscious thought

We can never find what we are seeking in an object, no matter how subtle, know that and so shift to observation, absolute global emptiness within which plentitude awakens now.

Leave behind idea of improving, nothing to find, to achieve. Searching and wanting are fuel for entity you BELIEVE yourself to be. Be simply aware of the facts of your existence without wanting change

The unknown is closest to us, to close to be perceived. It is closer than picking a flower

No longer the idea of being somebody (be nobody) BE INTIMATELY familar with the certainty that ABSOLIUTELY NOTHING PERCEIVED CAN POSSIBLY GUARANTEE BLISS.

Groundlessness as ground

Greesed: slide past closure

click click click

rings expand on clicks

not mirror a world


lay down a world, using personal style, music, on cycling basis.

20% from outside

80% cycling is put in brain

the 20% gives rhythm hitch to your on-going music

what must speak through you

In language we have something

(given something that sevcretly serves another purpose)

that has ability to move us in terms of overtones

Strengthen or lessen overtones

(Life also: given us to live and develop? or to suggest OTHER)

Because a word slips and slides

Release that slip and slide quality

All representation like that

Everything: reminds us of the whole


by being unable to pin down

Desire is to break vessel

with language and action, fluid loose,


Truth of the POUR from hheart

that society bottles: to build world

NO! Don't let be co=opted to build!


happiness seems to be

variety producing samnesss

variety aimed at sameness

variety focused on sameness

Simplicity and sameness as goa;l

but don't short circut


That silence that presceeds saying

write out of that

It can't be embodied in language

so it's in language breaks

That moment before saying

The world isn't here for a reason

It closes up when you turn to it for reason

It's closing...offers a reason, that's what you grasp, a mask

behind which hides the real (nothing)

Poetry as attempt to catch...

interrupted feeling, in which (a break) one says without saying "This or that"

Write what can't be thought

See without seeing object

Get into stillness , by writing

giving up theater

do-- nothing.

deeply: and not being frustrated

give up theater and keep going

Explain this and live the frustration in others face as you say this

live the 'theyt give up on me'

radio studio? space? Gaps?

Give up theater-- i'll do nothing; make plays, having given up, let breaks, silence, nothing, carry the day

There is layer upon layer of interlocking meanings

and very little else.

So: moment is ambiguous

l) Find mind-- woosh


2) get into your heart


be in your heart, the place we are

Ambiguity same as happiness

Life not continual orgasm, so real happiness impossible

pleasant surprise best we can do.

Ambiguity supposes resolution

But certitude implies further ambiguity

If we are certain, --uh-uh. But ambiguity plays with the further development, going on.

Blotting paper lace doily: consciousness is structure of percieved flower

Consciousness is blotting paper....of blotting paper made object that only

existed when consciousness confronted it!

Hollowness of all things

(Shell is our thinking, naming, perceiving)

ultimate reality= hollowness as reality

there be men of form (critics, discover

men of content (business, science, pragmatist, audience

men of play (art as spirit engaged

One thing, is not real

But the whole world, in which

not one thing is,

is real.

(double gyre)

(In staging) a thing is mentioned, go (physically or imagistically) toward it? or go away from it.


You weren't mentioned yet

yet world existed, and happiness existed and god and energy existed.

Electricity flowed

One day, you joined the flow

not to STOP in it.

You. Be an ikon, a central point, a BLOCK? Ugh

But make it flow. . .more. Multiple

more levels, more branches.

Dream (sleep) is like state of energy before born into world (as sperm)


Is my secret; exhaustion when NOT seized? Is there is genuienss, in that

Art: act not

fall not into real world with impulses: but let impulses ripen. your self.

turn thirst into com[passion, not desire.

So art

write not the action form

but the savor form


the savor

Hear, not see

Don't fall into matter, don't coagulate.

Staging a play-coagulation starts? STOP it. Stop acts, images etc. . .

Whatever arises, look at it as something to live inside, not a value in itself.

My soul-movement is still possible.

True in writing and staging also

To write (or act) use hand to conduct.

I can't abide (wong of me!)

living in a world

where only concern isn't spiritual devolpment

But this IS such a world!

A circle, several feet from head

Is this problem outside or inside the circle? (in me or in world)

Both are empty!

Only on circle's surface, does the problem coagulate and exist! (imaginary)

Every event mirror of every other event (because of that circle?

A universe stranger than we CAN suppose, calls to us--

Sacred hides itself in revealing itself

Reveals itself in very act of hiding itself

Ego is, thing to reject information that comes from intuition

Do something that violates all concepts of catagory

Give up effort. Write from center of effortless, expansion.

Only goal is effortless expansion, only non-seeking can it come.

Any attempt to grasp, hinders.

Don't SCREW UP THE BROW with effort

just relax into the dispursion.

Strain cuts down to tunel vision, effortlessness widens and you acts are FLOATED by inner expansion

What's it about? The energy that acts through you and isn't yours, that disolves the solidity of the projection in which we live. Age of the disolve.

Why I love two musics, the yes BUT...

Sink, into the rich loam (sleep) sink into inner expansion and my voice comes and experience is inside out. (MY circle experience)

Just write ROOTS of brain rush.

Look at scene, deeply, but DE FOCUS (as in rehersal) and let unseem come (write it without seeing it, IE focusing on it).

Take what's there and intensify it, which means holes appear in it!

Sperm: You weren't mentioned yet, yet the world existed, as did happiness and what you see now. One day you joined the flow, but don't BLOCK it. Let it go on as-if without you.

We can never find what we are seeking in an object. Nothing percieved can give bliss, so disolve percieved

Don't fall into the concrete world. Give up theater, and keep going. Live the frustration of this position. Make plays, having given up the theater. Let this logical impossibility carry the day.

Don't use insight to form plays! Let it be it's own end! Tight self circle!


Piled up, multiple reference and catagories.

Intricate and layered

cancels out the physicality:

vaporizes back into spirit

the world as it is

shows self as error

since all selves are self-confined and limited to a perspecvitive that coagulates. falsely. the vapor of reality

It's thre CHOSEN perspective

that lies

That solidifies (error-izes) into a world.

I try to complexify and layer in order to disolve a world



the world, so THIN.

Gebser, a perspectival

adjectives now emphasise relations between objects, and take effect in all directions.

Notion of objects has lost significance, together with perspectivity achieved through adverbs that deepen object vis a vie point of view of observer.

Gained is spiritual light reigning between objects-- tensions and relations between 'em

perspective distorts, since part is betrayal of whole: even sum of parts. . .

poetry is writing of history, not history of dates, but of the dateless.

Action, replaced by poise

things transparant so ground shines through

Everything that happens to me is a challenge to have insight into it

Language that was once description becomes pure utterence.

(Language that was action, becomes poise)

Withdrawal; divest word of taste, color, and make it a circumscribed parable that's lost all terresterial sense.

Word: raise origin into present.

Stretch: a perspectival

Think; translucent

Use writing to spread ME.

Do something to myself, not audience

Language allows us to say. . .the otherwise , the exception to. . .being

Saying errs the said (which is a disclosure of what cannot be said)

Faster flow of syntax, more awakened sense of ellipse, equal a tendency toward silence

Function of art, stretch consciousness , make it thin.

War of poets

Pirate Radio

Recite behind cards, exotic blindfolds, wired, tied to racks

desire to SEED world

portraits set up for filming

phrases as seeds

VOICE over, as stumblebum silent film

Find a way to just make and stage statements


Gurdjief, do everything different just to shock

Art to STRETCH CONSCIOUSNESS, taking out props of real life

We think of self as whole. We act out of that assumption


We wobble

We are (self) in fact, tied to non-definable 'other' in way that off-centers us.

We are TIED to OTHER off-centers

Life as game of wobble billiards

The mind king (poem:)

(find the emptioness in all things)

There are two kinds of creation, serving two needs.

1) Because we are pre-occupied, tense and tired. Much culture is made as occasion for a release into the relax of the known 'desireable'.

Text as remembering the past (pleasure or excitement)

2) Other moment of culture, urges us to go into unknown modes of 'receiving'. Gives us a new language to assimilate, needed because of an imbalance in our particular setting of time and place. We have COAGULATED on a particular way of seeing.

New text stretches us out again, as a rack would.

(need now is to re-find how life (because of a daily-life reality that denies alternate world and alterity and flow)

is a wobble on an off-center.

The off-center is FED from another space (which 'other' is also an off-center)

So a network of mutually sustaining off-centers)


The poem (art) as nothing-ising the world

Return world to nothing

Pure projection of conditioned ego.

Write to let the


enter the situation

so it

is no longer known.

know nothing, remember nothing, be nothing

Don't let the writing coagulate into real

It's function is to spread us

(Breton? Derrida? Language rules)

Anti-gestalt art

The normal 'gestalt' art vs an art that would SPREAD you (strain)

Writing (and getting ideas) like a

lazy , loaping, loopy behavior.

(how I got idea for pool in Wozzeck. Just cycling thru play)

IE. start cycling, NOT at beginning.

sense an abyss (non-soundable bottom)

throw thin language net across (spread thin)

Let something write through you

Stay in the mind obliterating meaning.

Write to erase self

Strong saying erases meaning

That form-demanding power of nothingness

Write a 'fading'

STRETCH (stare!)

Language as consciousness without corresponding subject; then life is adventure, search for applications.

Language as fiction

Goal is to be obscure, yet memorable

Fill memory with construct rather than experience:


construct that demands filling: vs memory that is filled, mind should be filled with incomplete lures

Ideas are signs- one carries out orders


Poetic contructs are lures- one explores

Evocative just flashes, from past- one explores

Both as floating signifiers- one explores, where to apply 'em?

Art should give one keys, search for the door it fits.

Free language from everday communication in which it's possibilities are reduced to bare minimum of usefullness

Decartes-- method as possible escape from fictions of mind

Mall.-- fiction as aim of method, creation of new reality inherent in language

Me: language as not new reality, but probe, tool, lure

To lure us into a lived life that doesn't coagulate as earthly life has done.

To open dialogue with the other

The overmind of the species

OK, who am I talking to?

What? me--

No. I just heard a voice in my head.

(Release: into imagination)

It's telling me how to get out of the body.

We are not now what we yearn and are destined to be

We are emerging from crysalsis. Worm(monkey) cocoon(culture, self-consciousness) butterfly--FLY

I'm mapping it


A mystery is in our midst, and accessable.

Pirate radio phrases. Into schools, homes, stores-- see effects

Poetry war: spells, attacks, kills, . . .or cures.

Just seeds in life (thin, over vast area) I'm seeding life

On side of busses, ads in papers, posters, in books, on phone.

Phrases vs portraits

If it's seen, the seen must be loose to arise in unconscious, like unseen already does.

To see, you must see less. Film: recitation after being blindfolded. Hooked up, put behind confinement, card, strapped in etc for analysis.

Knowing enough, produces chaos of all view-possibilities (Valery

All perception covers perception(Valery also)


A story, told at the end of acting it

Sit for portraits- phrases

Poems in restrains, behind cards, blindfolded, on rack, etc

Teacher, at blackboard

Everything is true

Just statements

certain lines repeated, as if dictation

Find ways to stage statements

Work of art opens a door to another world

Just do everything 'different, for insight, at angle, left field

Let sentences run away from you, not toward you

Inside out




desire is to pernetrate

turn things around

Things hide what is.

There is a space things occupy.

Golden void.

Use writing to erase back to that.

Not a new solid world, but thin grid, with jewels

over your own life which shows through (A kind of clock?)

Poetry tv, newspaper, radio, etc. Some saying 'it's not poetry'


Create not solid world, but leaps, skips. (electron pulse bounce

blank. . .life. . .ZAP. . .blasnk. . .life. . .ZAP

(blank & life as uninteresting life phenom. ZAP as full void thing that is anti-thing releaser!)

Unfold a cascade. Write words or phrases


attend minute undifferentiated flow

undifferentiated means ineffable because caused by all and relating to all

Escape to now, here (from anticipation, regret, escape)

what world is now, elementary moments, can't be analysed into anything else. Only as memory can they be analysed. Write before memory. Write the roots of the rush

Open to world NOT held together by perspective

Negate the having of ideas

1) I like looking at self

2) I like idea of being ill

3) I like idea of offending people

and seeming crazy

4) I like being inarticulkate (you're focused m huh?)

5) I like imagining a-bomb arriving

or planet on horizion

6) I feel shy about this evident narcisism, but take courgae from coffee


7) I'm embarassed about telling coffee grinder, as reveals vanity. Plus A> M.

story to Kate.

Symbolist world rich= vision beneath of pulse of cross roads; forces find cross roads in things.

But our world is disolved into circutry; as things ARE crossroads

so thinner art, in which not a thing to make us see powers inside it, things are not as lens

but we see pulses, vibrations, and task is to keep thing from re-coagulating.


Film: costume of nursery, recitation

Two heads talk

Phrases as one is prepared for photo. Powered, gray scale, etc

Projections (time exposures, )


not following through

you begin someything


God replaces the city

here to show CITY AS GOD



Have a memory (light)

Don't tell about it


flow, under its atmospheric pressure, it's gravity.

The rich NOW is experienced only as a memory

So link it to another and another

but don't report on those images

rather, make allusions that are so thin

because the NOW takes prescidence over the aluded to

as if re-stitching us to consciousness

to presence

for the first time!

Writing as stitching.

My desting is just to touch on things so lightly

allude to things

and ever more, shifting things

Things 'come' to me

Just whif

the map of that

the structure of that


12 tone

Language so thin....stretch space

Strong point, the inability to do anything

Language that doesn't touch or effect or move even a speck of dirt.

A "weak force" phenomenon, in which light can grow.

To move things with language, is to stay fallen in material world

We mark a place as mine

It IS mine, since I construct-percieve it. (I in it it in me I in it)

Art is place where objective and subjective cross, echoed by eyes cross in neural system

We are machines for making the world beautioful (a sunset isn't beautiful, not even red)

We are here to feel (not think, get through that) Life as gift, to feel)

So we Mark things (feeling, seeing beauty)

Cross brain

Also, we can't see too much, or die, disolve and no longer serve marking (seeing, feeling prupose) That's why brain is filter. We're here to feel, (see) but too much kills us, so balance

"(Year of Furnace"_) Here's a writer, me, who writes without narrative or logic. Why? Because he's living in a world where...

The best of people in this society proclaim... (use my notes)

Know nothing, have nothing to say (put on headband)

Keep goingh, get mixed up,

picking up dirt as roll down road

I do not exist

Imagine world (now) before (this vista without me

Now now now


once once once

What was I before I was I

Once, before one was an individual, when one was still the whole

Art as evolutionary

bees-whole, no consciousness

animal-consciousness as self

man-consciousness as whole

how do it? by having nothing to say! (as choice of saying is from self-consc.

We do mentral telepathy all the time, in fact.

Talk every day, from what been, thru stree, put in us, and we telepathically pick up on it, who knows how

so make a new choice

pull from what, with no stress, floats and tumbles and transforms and is extensive OUTSIDE us.

You can let one or other flow

you choose

Just total give up, relax, harmony

Total communication. No longer waiting, etc.

(are you picking up messages?

Not really

Ah, where did THAT come from-- look, anothger message, the way this table is angled, (etc)

Kierkagardian: TENSION of evolution effort

Passive vs actif

Tension of evolutionary effort (*bulge in head)


fall, into natural biology (zen?)

Life uses both

We fight to be right

are not ever

But life uses us as fertalizer

which is ok. Passive and actif

Confront the other without making it partr of own system, Impossible>?

Why experience other? Cause it's inside me.

How experience other? Express it, and it's inside our system. Can other be contacted?

The issue, can we escape self-system.

Experience you can't retain? (inconscious)

Man falls into language, that 's the problem. Language. Words, are an 'evil' inside us-- the other.


Jews wander, Book. Language. Redeem fall by study, system

Christ: be like children: word

Aim or writing say nothing (not mean nothing)

Ideal of lit: =speak to say nothing

Circle around other, visit the other

Write life, transformed by poetry

Language that is wounded

Language inadequate, but never sufficiently so (it always points. . .so we think there's something there, we add to the construction, get in deeper into the nothing it points to)

When we lose what we have to say, we speak

we speak to suggest something not being said is speaking

Speaking is a throwing pebbles at target, even if one hits, others go off and pull us from the hit

That is INHERENT in speaking. It's a scattering, of the before speaking.

Write and stage the scatter

Mastery is the LIE of non-scatter

(Feb 26)

Language better than people

People are built of clay, with few variations

Language is evolutionary force in man

What is evolution? Not ,

bird gets special feathers to adapt to cactus, but total evolve together. bird-cactus linked

Cactus-desert linked

desert, earth system, cosmos, on and on

So not cause-effect


A whole, that bi-sects into parts

(Language bi-seccts into words, and they bisect, the morfe to reflect each other

so (as in mircrophysics) collisions of cars= not parts of cars, but TRUCKS (because tendency to whole. . .?)

In film, watch something from another time]

In theater, watch something now, that is never now. IE, there is nothing there, it is either coming or going

So catch on the fly

Watch the nothing


Just past, just coming.

What goes wrong in daily life? One's energy is focused on overcoming problem

(your dis-ease)

Where there's no problem, either play or lethergy comes

But one should focus energy on pre=problematic stance

the radient self, makes a shell. Your energy should enjoy thickening or decorating or filigreeing that shell. BOTH problem and play come from outside to be registered on the shell. They are never THERE, moving into you. So if energy is focused on them, one doesn't see the radient shell, and the impressions don't EMPOWER one, they depleat one.

Write the difference, between the between

The difference and between that has no essence, but is always different

write the difference between object and ground

difference (un-renderable)= sacred

Consciousness is wholnesses ability to take impulses, to make things out of differences, make things iof differentness (which is no thing)

That gap of making= sacred consciousness

My style of speed and non-consider, allows gap into writing

Free-play of thought processes, one possibility selects itself

Artr imitates itself

Consciousness= 'see' several versions, one pops up into consciousness


Be in between the differences of different pop-ups of consciousness.

Don't be in the pop-up! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

We go to art to feel

whole out ofwhich parts are

To see parts, as whole-evokers

In life, we feel parts pull us from whole we'd like to be disolved in (yet be ourselves)

Art, takes parts and aligns them

art harmonizes parts (even as dis-harmony) to re-globalize attention

(bad harmony is to convince that what is not included is not relevent, good harmony is to suggest that even left out is included)

Bad` art intensifies parts== sentimental


sufficiently whole-oriented (so, many elements of composition not lined up, just plot is, or other 'real-social world inheritences')

consciousness = overlapping waves

two, or more, musics

The universe proposes creativity to itself. It looked at itself, flinging vast arms of intro-extro-spectation, and the creativity the universe proposes is multiplicty aimed at one-ness, so shifts and level jumps and

streams continually deflecting to new streams

all sing the one song.

I do not exist

God lives in me (this place I was)

If I am not here, the world still is.

I dont make art, God does

I don't love, etcx, God does

There is no space bwteen things

All manifestation, supresses all other aspects

Everything is fuzzy (wave packet) so precise fuzzy

Reality as MIGHT particles. Bringing into consciousness turns might into thing. So consciousness lies. It rejects fullness.

Difference as possible quanta states. Then a thing coagulates, one snaps in. But make all rejected possibilites reverberate.

Unobserved reality is radicaly different from observed reality.

Write, unobserved reality

Don't let the writing observe.

WE don't create reality, we collapse it into things

Suggest it before collapse

That's the task

Post modern situation is no meta-language

Fragmentation (rather than alienation) of subject

Different realities collide, co-exist, interpenetrate (in all areas)

No final mix

Only hetregenity (on this fallen earth)

and 'other' bubbles up--

but bubbles can't be sustained in this world

If imprint is let, it is negative of the positive (not-being because not sustainable)

Write the bubbles

Don't hold them

A relation to texts that seem to mean, but are slippery.



Words lead, just come

Brodky, Mann== dive into past, dig deeper

Doderer== open window to future, be invaded


hell-compulsions of system and law

UTOPIA of the left out , to put what has not yet been thought

aphoristic discourse as form of protest against the fall

write the forgetting of thoughts

poetry- erase thought with spontanity (erase system and goal with spontanaity)

bubble: from other place (non place) comes an energy that can;'t live here, can't be sustained here. A bubble rises


(If fixed in medium, it's the shell, not the core, you fix the trace, not IT)

But write it, that thing that flashes but can't be here


Hold meaning at arm's length

Let music rule


BUT THE SHIFTINGNESS (of levels and words and things)



Secret content of art is failure to really incarnate object, refered to thing, or

even itself.

It slips away, like the moment of life.


Everything is someyhing else


jumps, substitutions, and when you move on, stained by what just went by, a layer of which still adheres and colors

We have filters--

cut out politics to talk aesthetics

cut out daily life to talk philosophy

but if filters are slippery?

non-filter, deffective ones...

Man: was given moment of consciousness different from ape'

"This is blue"

But he developed it into systems: ERROR

Systems=illusionary construct, rather than play with consciousness

Old: we combine "this is blue, this is cold" to set up a network, that leaves out too much, all that isn't in consciousness.

Perhaps 'this is blue' was supposed to whirl us into other dimention.

Consciousness as lightening flash;

Idea was to make monkey into god, whirl him to other dimention through evolution.

Instead he made a system to reduce pressure to evolve (pressure as flashes) and so consciousness stops and deflects into man


SLIDE AROUND ROCK (rather than try go through)


A block, a no, makes workd of blocks (world of shit) a world in which greesed one slips around, makes the blocks- pearls. World of joy

When one wants (books, food, etc) one wants to break from suffocating self enclosed-- but if it's assimilatable, it turns STRANGNESS of unscanable other into domesticated self again. So consciousness is wrong, logfic and clarity and all ideas are wrong. One wants the OTHER, to BE the other, to not know the self. Art can do this now. So world from unknowable, non-conscious other.

Make no decisions, hand it to gd.

REALLY have that faith (decision)

Get something down,


let it reveal zen truth of presence as it refers back


let it metamorph and reflect back

childrens tales, fables, simpleminded

sliding reference, all mixed

studded with signs, images vs symbols, keys, clues

Slippage bast rocks to keep going.

Start from what is (what comes in the experienced now; from gd?) rather then trying to to make it be a picture of the now

Gears slip

Slide past rocks

Start with what comes, now in this space you are in. . .vibrating to that light.

Apres coup

delayed reaction, re-interpretation, response.

Fate and chance:

Only chance brings us those moments that, re-interpreted (seen as repeated) connect us to real.

(what is real is everything that can't be encountered)

Get something down, then let it return (invisibly, as something else, later in text) and the sliding continuing is that thing, returning to be real as it was not at first!

Let the language speak easily by remembering "if I hadn't been concieved by both parents, or if I had been differently adopted, this vista would still exist, but where would my language be and would this vistae still impress my language. . .

Art: a) Imitate self

b) real content is failure to incarnate object (defered effect, apres coup

c) subject is change of subject. But if you identify that as subject, you can no longer change. . .

d) frustration, and something comes from other source that goal of siezing object

Desire: to be free of desire. That in an active, vibratory way

Not the same as desiring things (success, love, etc) because those bring end of deire but they don't, because to gain each is to lack the 'elsewhere' to them each.

Desire is really for 'whole', and any thing is part.

Real as what can't be said (whole)

Implies writing style of continual returning to, to be re-said (secretly)

Usually write to gain desire, ie, embodying a thing

vs new write to NOT embody anything but what is embodied ALREADY as a word is set down (ie, imitate self)

In art: write to de-embody object, so subject (writing) shows.

As in Hamlet , object is revenge, but write not revenge but rather notate all revenge's failures: or paint apple? or failure to be apple.

Whole task is to make circulate in a new way, what we do know already.

Make it stick to new hitherto impenetrable places (where we normally forget to remember-what-we-know)

Defered re-action; is apres coup, reaction defered which re-interpretes

So in a place like Paris, there in body, isn't the same as later, with no body it's re-experienced, re-acted to as meaning (mystery, fullness, etc) which it couldn't be when in it. Because in it, you had no way to make it resonate except with past, so you must wait til it is a past. The now is always a means to COAT the past, the kernal, made like a pearl. PEARL!


What reveals, conceals. (say= not say). So you must know you're not-saying in saying. Poems: move nothing because they want to be what you are, rather than moving away from you into mirage-object! And you are impulse system that is ALL (only to get split in object system you are thrust into by speaking, which is a system you then inherit.

Staging also: each move. . .covers the truth that is all moves. So make staging 'move nothing'.


the process of disclosure includes an absence intrinsic to its presencing.

absence is ingredient to presence.

write to let be disclosed the interlacedness of all events.

Do events come into words, to separate them out of broth? No. That's a lie. Words move one to different perspective maybe, so one see's the 'all' from the angle of, say-- a rose. But the 'rose' is a lie, unless it is an 'angle' on all-non-rose.

In directing: stop the not-said from vanishing, or you get suffocated, since you need all to breathe. So render the performed non-real yet with feeling.


My unconsciousness is not co-incident with me. An animal finds itself speaking, and becomes thereby subject to (of) that speaking. Subject is submerged in signifiers (as under the surface of a lake)

Write the 'slips of tongue' in which submerged self comes and vanishes. If it stayed, it would no longer be self, but be language system.

Write 'plots' that slip the tongue (gears)-- and keep going (which is like the 'slip' vanishing again, which it must to keep subject 'alive' and 'real' (ie, ineffiable!


(reading things that start pretending discourse without holes and gaps (real ineffable) , I suffocate (the subject self suffocates) because the impulse, which is ineffiable and 'real' and 'me' (I am another) is snuffed out.

Non-effective writing. Effect nothing.

Avoid goals, escape trap that goals create.

Crazy, soverign, , little logical webs of non-sense.

Explication but, slide from, slippery geers

Return to babble, not self-indulgent childlike, but talk freed of gla.

Immersed in non-savoir

The head spins, but a not-effort, all round woven. Saying doesn't work. In writing, the hand catches one of many flashed words. Options, and one is chosen, on a rhythmical basis, on a skating on the edge basis, on a staying in proper degree of non-committed limbo basis.

Spoken, the sound of voice, effects what's being said, leads it, the body leads (intention leads) into the already hewed out groves of functioning in world as it is. Writing as non-vocal. Slips through.

Writing is delay, you can't write as fast as thinking. Speaking slows thought because it is too forceful. Speaking makes only what comes to the surface be-there. Writing can get closer to other level.

Supress fixation on the line of development. Unrepress the multi-directional symbolization.

Be near-sighted? De-focus. So in-you depth can be there. Force blocks self.

Goal is where you end up. Goal is forgetting the goal.

To see a goal is to throw vision over obstacles, so covered territory is non-existent. Rather, make life be-- resistence is the key, try to let each moment of resistence deflect the language. To effort-ly analyse, think etc is to jump over the real moment of resistence. The real is the lively meander, against the flicker of presented options.

Real= effect of thinking (that thinking makes a world)

Yet: can't be thought (the world made by thinking, made by language, has overtones language misses. A 'thinking' by-product that language misses.

The real is real because it isn't real to your consciousness and language.

Art should evoke that excess, suppliment, that language and thinking excrete. (Like the spots on your eyes that seeing makes, yet if you look to them they slide away.)

How this relates to sliding past rocks that arise in text-- that's not where the real is! Or in staging, slide away from event showing etc. Aura.

* * *

Theater of impulse:

Theater that (writing that) picks up on what the language really says.

(I don't want to be here. Nobody said you had to sting or produce honey. Don't think I'm making advances)

Impulse (desire) defies language as system into which you are inserted

Story, that keys to being swerved from originalk impulse. Never work out the impulse that starts things, but swerve (in staging also)

Often, hide the self

Theme: denying world is what you think it is

Whatever you think it is, it is different

Whatever you think anything is, it is different. Because thinking, bends. . .

Difference is everything. . .and everything is different from what you think in that it is non-different from everything else. And yet, it is different from that non-diffeence that you now think now it is,. . .

(that difference that is (and isn't and is) you can do two things with-- call it poetry

--or call it madness or imaturity etc, and kill god in you

God as all that is unknowable(because unscanable, to think it is to bend it) about forces that control you and world. So, appeal to all that controls unbeknownst.

Art theme, is seduction by what you make in thinking and how to free self.

Theme therefore, is it's own shape. and freeing from it, discarding it. Erasing, as themselves, not only objects it pictures , but even itself as image.

My plays are about something left out of human life.

Human life is un-satisfactory, by constitution. Human life is the product of an unsatisfactory coagulation of productive forces. Stones are ok. Dogs are ok. But then consciousness entered.

Human life has an unfillable gap at its beginning

Consciousness arises out of resistence and imaged transcendence

This image=desire

But desired isn't what you really want (the image is always error)

What you want is state before consciousness (resistence) BUT conscious.

So write, state before consciousness but conscious

But you can't

so write that, but it ends consciousness, so verge on it, be on the verge of losing consciousness, loosing understanding, loosing identity, giddy

What's left out of this life we live, is awareness of this left-out thing, which is our poisedness on the knife edge of desire for wholeness that falls into

error if conscious or into non-existence if not conscious. So we're between the horns of this delima, either error or unconsciounsness.

Only hope is that everything written (said) strikes overtones. Pick up, in writing, on the dissonant that sucks away from tone, so that overtones can be heard as a return. So tone doesn't dominate, because it is product of unheard overtones and so it (tone) isn't real.

Along with slide past rocks (keep goingness, giddy)-- skip forward (skid), change scene with jumps, don't be too rigid to do that. Change to next scene

Everything wants to speak. And that creates consciousness, and then consciousness wants to speak. So one is lost in language? Everything wants to speak. The city. The street. The room.

Be in a creative panic, panic as the source of openness. Panic as source of open heart and open ground.

The self as non-existing to it and all else can exist. Write everything into it's non-existing concreteness-in-moment-flash.


Desire for getting a time of nothing

Is to make a gap, to receive message. Tasks done, just sit

Words, not syntax or explain

Not write, is important.

Just sound, pluck,


reach edge of universe? No, it's not build like that:

You can only. . .return to start point

Universe build to baffle getting 'outside ' it

Everything feeds something else--in a circle, (thats the eternal return)

Everything finds desirable, something else.

So can't explain, since its circular.

One word explains, since it's in the circle

To desire empty space (void of time) is to end discourse and let word be full with the poignancy of the circular devouring.

Try to make an art that operates the way the universe operates

Then: subjects flash in and out, chimera

But universe goes on

Word vs syntax, is answer to 'how do I use this beauty". The sweeping away of subject into now universe just is, in its circular devour.

like the sliding past on going non-thought writing in which

moment devours the next

feel swell, swoop on greesed wheels glide, and drop things, errors-- which are useful then, if re-eaten

write consciousness tumbling over itself, sliding around itself, thrones, synagogs.

consciousness distorts the real, which is it's own product.

SO idealism? But no, the distortion in it's constitution throws up the 'other' (the real) as a crust.

Consciousness, as it extends in time, starts tumbling over itself.

Life is experiencing THINgs, folding over itself, OUT of control as consciousness in time, bunches up (into 'real' that isn't)

Be in unborn Buddah mind.

FOOd grows from seed which is tramnsofmer of what? We are food, what eats us? Trees, flowers, come from-- re-cycling. Re-cycling is all. We are recycled to find beauty a 'yes', but that's re-cycled also from same stuff as us. as is ugly. Eat, eat. Unborn mind.

Tex Avery-- the transformaytions, violently sketched. Just explode it like Tex. Agetha sells soul to devil to be film star, then wants out. No go.

Devil is treadmill of 'worth'

My parts: spin:

If meaning clamps-- like magnet on metal

there is an end to spinning

No sparks fly out to illuminate and TOUCH

heretofore alien


parts of the world.

But if the tension of an exact distance

Is maintained


miracle millions of parts

trellace over the dry field

and raw turns sweet-swollen

and bursts again,

again seeding

again whirling

like wild hammers.

The center of X's like was-- . . .

One word that's all words.

Maneuver word X, into position where it's all words.



Keep going. . .aroiund rocks

Geers slip


Unconsconscious on smae plane as conscious, just faster, like whorls of water, or bleep thru steady pattern. Speed approaching all-at-once;

one word as all.


To know other as unknown.

To know own loved strangeness, wityhout domesticating it, yet not 'not=know' it.

Gnomic, truism aphorism keeps strange


Consciousness as time, unconscious as outside time, not accessable in time.

Unconsciousness can't arise, it can only 'push' other things into consciousness (into time). If consciousness goes fast enough to 'lighten' it , so other things are pushed. In physical world, mass increases with speed

vs mental world, opposite.


Go fast, things arise

Language prodices a text of which the effect is the author

Write to produce a radical knowledge lacking reference

Write to lose something, the false (mirror-imaginary) I

Stageing as arousal, fopreplay only, in which language comes

Man is a system that out of language only exists, and thereby through a fiat creates a self and world for conscious manipulation, yet this thing that 'allows' him to exist is made in error of the real.

Hense his mis-fit

staging uses pictures presented, unfulfilled

Language works, makes links, so saying X, language leads to y. Then we are affected by y even though we didn't notice it

Humans are the material of language

ARRIVING IN A PLACE, TRYING TO GET THE LAY OF THE LAND-- (lay, means what? Correction. Correction. Let me orient myself)

Be in language to exist. But, once in it, need more. voracious. Yet out of it, lose the sense of self.

Don't talk-- vertigo, til language gushes in again, and lies you to yourself by making you 're-be'

man is enabled-limited by any skill (language for instance)

Do anything


copy (initate) it

(art imitates itself)

Imitates-- what has been THROWN there


the here of this present moment, like doodles

a line on paper echo (imitate) it

Let its aura

excite similars

imitate=trace its aura, its radiations

keep going= let arua inscribe the line


Copy the impulse- that's what even beethoven does with theme and variations. Play with developement of a theme, imitation. So a conversation played with. A story?

Play with-- all my reading and background and associations and enlargements and 'chunking' and distortions and slidings

A doodle is self copying (or echoing) but then a need arises to swerve off, or cut thru


But start impulse is always a deep saturation with what is HERE NOW

(the light)-- story OR dialogue from that, in 'keep going' mode, the SLIDING mode

Always start from unknowable present moment; closest, most mysterious.

Present in which you become lost

Filtered unconscious from future, rather than past

Then, lost in the close, impenetrable, present, 'keep-going' of swerving

Staging: never illustrate, but withdraw (Kahbala)

(the present isn't knowable)

Make it more mysterious.\ Reveal the mystery

gesture of pulling away from premature closure


Don't 'say' in staging,. rather take back and withdraw to keep in play

Writing keeps in play by sliding around blocks that arrive as 'meaning' to be developed.


ordinary condition is narrow focus, goal oriented: a strut, a thin line, connects subject with objects of his interest, while all the rest of the object and the being's self remains untouched.

Not self-object, but multiple-singular which swings between all in subjective or all in objective

art must deny life, deny the horizon-constructed of objects arrayed 'out there' apart from a postulated 'us' (which is made of memory chips, not in present-to-self of the present)

The EDDIE stories are moments of presence, in which self is lost, or,

feel self as whole (more self by losing 'self' as goal oriented.)

There is thrust that tries to jump over or manipulate objects.

There is thrust that allows the deflection of each object to weave a web that the self becomes co-extensive with

there is a thrust that sucks back into the self the sweet juice of each encountered object


Relate unknowable present, drenched (light) to sliding around on-going- to withdrawl that makes space for arising.

The present (and any literary work) is a bubbling, boiling pot, not (if it is any good) a static, seizeable church like ikon. (Stage the bubbling, boiling of here and not here. that can't be seized cause present . .)


Unknowable present

keepgoinness (impulse)

rehersal dead? Don't jack up, work from that (unknowable present. Really accept and learn from, rather than coverover)

Write from cells (release not adrenelin, but love)

Render: absolute condition of present things

Sliding, slipping geers

Something outside you informs each momemt, flows thru you, Try to evoke that (eternal ground. Used to be rhyhthm, then imagery, now-- slidingness and minute self-reflex)

Theater has been objects, billard balls, so x vs Y. Now see how X mixes with Y, or both are subsumed. . .


Writing: something surfaces in the unknowable present: an impulse (bodily)

To stage that? It has no environment. Normal environment in a play is not the present, but the past, solidified.

How make it 'unknowable and now'?


Man wants oneness (unity, and

always fails: the minute man

choses ANY interpretation, the

world is burified by that choice of

"unity" (any interpretation, which makes

disparate facts a unity)

It's an automatic reaction formulation

built into world's constitution!

Art= qualification.

Grass is green (but--

Art therefore like

lightening that produces

forked routes

(why I suffocate by art which

finds theme, and hews to that.


Write to make item or event

unknowable, because "known'

aspect is lie, distortion,

taking away the oxygen we need

to be in touch with ground which

is always throwing new webbs, attaching the

'event' to other

qualifications and systems.

Focus on red-- afterimage (green) is seen

Bringing to consciousness (I see!) creates after-image (others, illusions)

since seeing is an effort which is an un-natural selection out of whole.

Discrimination and distinction causes multiplication and end to 'suchness': so WORLD has built in impenetribility-- either unsayable suchness, or multiple contradictions and illusionary 'others' and opposits

Usual effort is to clarify (ahh, he is desrious of, she is...)

I try to fold back those distinctions, one on other, mixing

so see can't distinguish suchness

Core is attitude of (not feeling) initiation to hidden order.

Play (poetry): makes gesture of communication but communicates nothing except( fundamental) need of human soul to catch world's meaning.

poem speaks on behalf of the strange-- no, on behalf of the other, of an altogether other. (Celan) (Faster flow of syntax, more awakened sense of ellipse, poem's tendency toward silence) Holds its ground on it's own margin. In order to endure, it calls and pulls itself back from an already-no-more into a still-here.

Enlarge art>? No, take art with you into your innermost narrowness, and set yourself free. Eternalization of mortality (mothing but that) and in vain


Everything reflects each other thing (necklace) Write and stage that (which means in staging, don't let actors find easy way, because...

The MYSTERY, the unexplicable: is; that all is interpenetrate

Staging, show falseness (artificial from natural social ptof view) of each moment as itself, (its really 'all else' but itself)

(Brown) To percieve itself, the universe must falsify itself, and so it becomes mysterious

Self-division, to observe self, CREATES universe and also, falsifies it.

Any 'theory' is self division with the 'marked off part' grown so large, the 'observed' is poverty-stricken. So theory see's a 'bit', which is a falsification in being 'true' about its bit.

To be mysterious, is true, is unrepresentable

Write the flow around boulders of representation, they re-fuse into whole:

Stage the necklace

Work out of the unknowable NOW before theory (memory work) marks off parts

I like. . .looking into the bright light, because it means I can see really a lot. But nothing, in fact. And that seems great. How come?

(DPK and waitress)

Sit over here.


Sit over here and I'll serve you coffee. Wonderful coffee

Now. Tell me a story

(Eddie went to)

What does it mean?

(Donald was playing in the rong ball park.


Tell me a story

Which story?


Now it's my turn


OK for another story

I wish my life was a story

The present isn't knowable. Stories are knowable.

They lie, unless they are unknowable like the present

(Unknowable present)


Fredrick decided to alter his route to the office. Blessed event. . .he sat on a bench, a woman looked at him. Her gaze materialized


Life circles, creates a center, an empty space it hasn't touched. Write the empty space.

"Oh, what does the initiation cerimony consist of?


Swallow this pill--

Childrens stories.. (suitable)(test it on me)

tttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttanything you desire is only part of what you desire. So gain it and be empty (therefore ask for everything)hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhsymbolic is only way of grasping things, but it's a lie built in (death in it) Imaginary is a false whole (holds no death) kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkmind is in mouthllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllltruth is what coagulates around uttered after it's uttered. (Scattered) It's the place in which certain uttereds (only) stick and put roots and flower (brief, like all flowers)fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Art created (not mirror) as fundemental BREAK with life, antithesis of life

an explosion of language (give new life to language, slip and slide, explosives that shatter ready-made phrases.

Break with everything that exists, including your inner life and ideas

Not a repetition but a repture

There is in every word, the desire for alterity, for double meaning

Write to destroy perspective, grid

)perspective destroys in-dwelling nature of each object(

nature emerges from what lies beyond all attempts to be pinned down: destroy gril. Blaga- inbuild resistence to knowableness: Use chart, but know-not WHAT is charted.

Basic law. X=y2. . .sometimes

Conversation isnt communication but each building coherent whole world, slip/slide around others rocks(imput)

Not act, but moments of sit back and let arise(rehersal): not hero(tragic) but dance with(comic): (since 'to act' is to not know what's ALL involved, so let gap be in which intention to act or to supress is allowedt to expand)

butterfly wing changes weather (etc) so focus on heretofore meaningless detail as key-- train that focus, not to make meticulous, but to prepare for other way of being that knows detail HIDES unknowable (Blaga) crucial factor

Bachaladian poetics of fluidity and jumps

Not will to live, but will to attack, dramatic and uncertain.

Metamorphosis, rather than metaphore

The classroom is hell and hell is a classroom

System of reflexes,, rather than impressions

Verbal sprout

The poet always thinks about SOMETHING ELSE (expression as more than life, OTHER than life)).

Works that are negatives of positive life. No developer will revverse their shades. They must be accepted in their attempt to break up.

Work that is created before observed. Has no goal, is yet an action. No plan yet is coherent. Its language not the expression of previous thought, but expression of a psychic force that has suddenly become a language. In short-- instant language.

Move from realm of images to realm of actions

Man desires a becoming.

The principal function of poetry is to transform us

Cruelty must be placed at the beginning of instinct. Intelligence must also be corrosive, it attackks a problem (just like flower cannot unfold without its probe without a gesture of attack)

Energy is aesthetic

An imagde is a vortex from which and through which, and into which, ideas are constantly rushingNever linger on an object, rather disclove some transforming energy that underlies all things

Not in the imitation of action, but in the dream of action, that the truly human joy of action resides


Man's being is unfixed being. All expression unfixes him. Man is unfixed (not de-centered) by language

Man is the being that lies half open, so that inside and outside flkow together and are inseparable.

(My shell-head, both inside and outside projected on it!!!)

Reality is incomplete. Cries to man to add 'rationality' to it, which rationality never attains reality..

Resist (attack) all charming things. Use them to destroy them.

The faculty of rupture and opposition, (which is the vertical dimention)

Formative in human beings is not interpersonal relations, but their relationship with matter

Not sexual center, but will to intellectuality.

So poetic images of matter not from instinctual depths, but an intermediate zone between unconscious and rational consciousness, at threshold of rational thought.

From zone of material reveries that precede contemplation. (Free play of mind centered on objects)

Even when homo faber is preoccupied with purely practical ends, his efforts are sustained by his 'inward reverie', by his desire to know. this desire experienced as a true emotion

Deformation, as the dynamic character of thought.

Realizing the possibilities of reality ( a fishtail with wings, a paraticle behaving like a wave, why not?)

matter without form, dreamed in its active ambivilance, endlessly deformed, rhythmic, dynamic

Break with immediate experience, against life, explore possibility in subject and object, in world and human beings (science and poetry)

An essential need for newness charactizes the human psyche (and a poem is essentially an aspiration to new images). Submission to reality mutilates the human being.

Man should be defined by the group of tendencies that drive him to go beyond the human condition.


There is in every word the desire for alterity, for double meanings, for metaphor

Close reading -obedience to the discipline of the text-- deprives us of the real benifits of literature. Imprisons us in something that already exists. (text is film to be developed in chemical that is US, --life als)

FLORAL DYNAmICs (infusion and scattering and branching, yet gentle

Poetry imitates what it does not see. Imitates force, rather than movements.

Most important is consciousness of a divided, fragmentary, momentary self (rather than the self of 'projects")

Too often we are caught and crystalized by adult life.

Words (or selves?) are like houses with cellars and attics. We live in one space. But between is a staircase, and this staircase of language is poet's space, the poet's life.

Teach: pedagogy of discontinuity, petagogy of ambiguity

Gymnatics of the imagination (everyday life creates psychological hardening)

Mobolize reason and imagination to keep us unfixed

Failure to understand-- incompletenessss, but openness, possibility, progress

Work, as breaking with being, construction of possibility.

Workers who. . .provoke the world by the instrument of reason and imagination



Write a flowering of difference, from tiniest bud (finally makes new "whole"

Animal looks-- what catagory does this fit? (Waits for experience)

This is also fixated man

Open man looks for what fits no catagory, inner impulse

I am thrashing and twisting to get out of a cage, but life drugs me mostly with language.

The mind (body of mind) whirls, circulates, spirals in vortex, but is chained by syntax and word. And seems to calm as its lunging disappears into deep inner space.

So, make language THINNER, like a tincture, so you can see through it.

Make language specific? No-- vast airy circulation.

YOU don't write! (All you do, is keep language thin (the drug, less)

Some one else writes

(Let him enter the pen, be BETWEEN you and page, blocking you from seeing what's happening, You are elsewhere, during the writing)


Thought thinks

Imagination imagines

l) Stranger to yourself, (position from which to view 'otherness')

2) Be not there (non-subjective. Impulse, language, world, writes)

3) Let another enter during delay of writing (discrete vs flow. In jump from one to other)

4) Fuzzy

5) Light is time thinking about itself

Crystaline fuzziness.

Write the future (incomprehensible for now) meaning

Book of future meanings

Multiple language grid proves all words are cuts on continuim that shift. Puns do same. (ie, translations overlap and shift meaning, til starting with one word, shutling back and forth, you end up touching all words)

Old drama suggests problems are solvable, because posable. But all is intractable, because linked to all.

So don't send a meaning to audience (which is cheating of real)

but plow up the field of solidified signs, so you can each plant seed of your experience. Seeds not yet flowering, because life is hard surface on which you shove seeds around, make new patterns, but seeds don't flower.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

aphorisms that don't cohere: just fire: aphorisms for future systems

Derrida-pun-word association-syncronisity-holographic

Theater: the terre, the tear (the crying over physicality) the 'tear' in fabric?

Become the light (in now) take down the wall between you and the light


mobolize & babalize the totality of the equivocal; vision of universe founded on possibility; association of elements thought unrelated; no competence! (problems are untractable, so): ornementation given generative role: equivocality is at origin; two overlallping grids that just mis-match; based on homophoinic resemblence, slips in grid,

Stripping down, to die

in praise of sleep

play of bits. no links

(Film of stories: 2 voices overlap and disolve one to other: closeup-disolve to other cu. Long shots usually start empty space, walk in. disolve also)

Life spent trying to get one's bearings? Be re-lost

Laberynth. New city, lost.

City of perpetual lost self. Fluid city

Sun: look at it, blinded by light (which is to illuminate)



do peverse reading: what is perversion? what man is-- excess

imaginary-- theater of specific, gestault, felt illusions

symbolic-- of ideas and structure

real-- ineffiable (poetryu, laughter, Bataille)

hunger for meaning, but never fall in it's trap

marginal (the rejected) holds it all; we geo self, and like theater that serves ego. Real art tries to mine (dredge up) other area.

Restore to the seen, the absence that is in words (since tree is anti-tree)

Unconsc: like sausarre, system in which things MEAN only in relation to other meanings, not in relation to 'facts'

Urge to write (symbolic order)= urge to be beyond being, beyond the viscitudes, to be "all". Life is...god (all) withdrawing

ego, which is imaginary, interfears with symbolic usage. Image fixation denies death

we sense that life, which is false as imagery idea, is really death= uncontrollable. Try to use symbolic to get beyond 'life'. To come to terms with death (so-- go to meet death) What is "life"? Imagery seizing us (imaginary) Since god left us on our own-- so-- can we transcend imaginary?

strip down self, get rid of imaginary imagery. End- symbolic terms. Death. But can one get to real, to unclassifable, unexpected?

In art, people prefer what 'tells them about' rather than embodies;

Copying experience 'tells about'

copying people 'under the influence of' tells about

copy nothing

copying a vision tells about

Try to embody appeals to symbolic, copying to imaginary.

To embody --that's what's happening inside terms

Embody death-- the 'real'

people go to art to reinforce illusion (image: life)

Some art: symbolic: manipulates symbols

But some-- real? (unnoticables)

Life's only meaning (that isn't just shuffling inside system so TODAYS meaning & truth is... todays perspective that hides other truths) life's only meaning that is soverign meaning for itself... is jouiasance, excess (against self as ego) which would destroy us

try to evoke a 'what is it", rather than any object

You desire to reclaim rejected part of ID. Objects (other you desire) stand in for that, but aren't it. They can (you think) reclaim it by WANTING it (they want part of me that's 'unacceptable)

humor and death; (death to ego

Funny face= ideal IMAGE distorted by force (stretched etc)

play= distort by impulsiveness

write to create new acess to real by letting language twist: (when I am dead---error, I am dead now)


what is at issue at the end of analysis is a twilight, an imaginary decline of the world, even an experience at the limit of de-personalization. (strip self of self: more open to world, which is unknowable, not 'things' you like or don't, but 'things' with absence (death) at their center.)

Man isn't entirely in man. The power plant isn't entirely in the p plant (river). Find source of electricity? Is it in river? No

refuse and corpse, show me what I thrust aside in order to live. But what threaten to emerge from the real is ultimately a part of oneself, one's own refuse, one's own corpse

it is death, sustains existence. Meaning of life--more life (born by death: death , remember, of constricting ego) form of life is release, dam burst (orgasm) into being. Life is to be on verge. So it's all and vast. To come into 'being' is to fall (god withdraws?) (otherwise than being)

Imaginary creates a a lack, a gap. The symbolic, on the other hand, retains within itself the antipode of every position. The "not" this.

Scene in play-a man kills--isn't true (full reality), But the sentence "He killed Jack" contains it's opposite and other. So is 'full"

Language opens up play beyond the sense of the said (the seat of the code) Imaginary demands the once and for all object. Language is desire always on the move, with possibility of new meanings.

The HAND must do the writing.

Be lead by the hand. Your writing hand leads your thoughts.

(how make that in staging?

Bresson: When you don't know what you are doing and you are doing your best. Inspiration. Hone in on the stupidity in your work, that is really you that technique covers. but; don't turn that into a technique(your rejected).

Most theater, character exagerates self presentation. How self present the x behind character?

How present the self when it is not presenting itself

Stage: absent self. Non-presented self.

The not-being able to do (because you haven't support, funds) as kernal. The frustration as kernal (ie, hunger as compassion).

Directors make great texts, which are

into ego-helf imaginary gestalts, that's why I hate theater

Find without seeking.

Most theater= convince. No. Reveal some of the tossed away that is the real. Convince is to convince of the gestalt, which is wrong; always

Art: tell the truth: something is missing from 'life'. Recognition of the continual 'yes, but", there is always more to every stagnation (image) of character, idea, behavior. . .(remeber history teacher and pencils)

So: l) leave out

2) include intrusive

In Buchner for instance. Language ok, scene fragments ok. But emphasise that. How? Set: playpen added to sober, chandelier added to poverty. Machine set-- yet never as "IDEA

There is always more than you show. That is only "theme"-- recognized, shared stuff is 'cheat' on life.

at any moment we are only aware of some of what we want. Normal theater actor fixes on what he wants. Director has to suggest the more.

theater is a trap. Mirror image, wholeness etc, a trap

delusional wholeness; fights internal disintegration. Show that

death is homeopathically present in speech. (not in images.) Make staging like speech, like language. Speech always misses-- but don't revert to imaginary.

but instead, let break in on us the real (the accidental, the non-destermined, etc)

Play (production) should meditate only on

really come up against

death only

imaginary supresses the dis-membered impulse body

gaps, between those disparate impulses

void of death

symbolic, between terms, void of death

when you die, love goes, as active or receptive?

continual loss of memory (coherence). Small death of madness (Schopenhaur) when die 'now you give up what you never should have become in first place'

all related to my desire to be 'incoherent'

feed world

'you are ceasing to be something which you would have done better never to have become' (schopenhaur)

die for internal reasons- memory loss (false coherence of I-ego)

2 voice over, disolve into each other

close ups, disole to other closepus, disolve to occasional long (long try to start on empty space

Life spent trying to get one's bearighs

But, be re-lost


New city- lost! City of perpetual lost self

look at sun, blind, yet it lights

try to find other objects to blind you-- so they cast light

metaphytsics have always been at the center of my art (What is behind what is here)

Death in me (which means other is behind, yet absent as I handle life. can't hold two at once))

That is adressed not by what can be said about it

But by language itself (which holds death in its spaces) So--make art in which language doesn't point at things

But reveals death inside it

When I asked myself "what do I want to see? and answer moment in 'Maids'

I always said tension

I should have said absence

So lst; phenomonological theater. But language interfered

Then, load up language to erase objects

Now. . .

Language purged of self

as director

erase, de-convince of the 'portrayed'

(europe vs america: adolescent: presence)

people want to see 'life' onstage

lie= lifelike

I want to see death on stage

The dis-membered self we're afraid of

Always, how to mount language, so it's what it is, something that holds our own non-being

I HATE theater

but I LIKE fighting it

Besire to create like world, rather than imitate world

Not mere exchange of worn coins once again

Mint new value

Nature mutates-- will it stick?

I mutate

Exchange not encrusted psychologies, (or idea, or perspectives)which end up bering discared eventually as all do

But the inexhaustable font of mutation

what is that font, source? if not death

see? Mutation itself-- not the end product

The flow

(Actor improve, by the way, is same. Expands the given

Only language: code, which is full of absence, can trip up the given (on stage-- unless total improvisation?)

I have no time

(I'm pressed for time)

Story: A story is being told

A window is being opened

A car is being...

There is no speaker without an auditor who replies (in a pause-- or deflects the line...)

Tell story, don't aim at meaning-- just as going on (rolling on) you'll catch things, like fuzz on rolling sticky ball

Meaning siezed is asphyxiation, cause it's defense against life, which is proliferate. Mutation.

I don't have much time! I have to move on!"

To "say" is to make absent (the real). So in staging language (which IS a play) keep that 'real' absent.\ or a language becomes redundant and suffocates.

Art's purpose: extend field of our ignorance, rather than our knowledge (knoweldge parnoid as it defends against REAL that is unknowable in its...) So art: breaks our ego-imaginary constructs. So write NOT meanings, but move on

Stage withdrawal, from meaning, from presence, from closure (language is withdrawal from presence, so don't restore presence)

(I hate anything that gives meaning, finally. I read to find meaning-paradox, of if I get meaning, I feel good (ego) then I get sick, feel doors are shut-- read more to re-open them.)

Dopn't stop to mean, just roll on until...

Never write anything that suggests answer could be forthcoming-- never question: only state what's clearly incomplete.

Man is wobble.(between ego-imaginary and symbolic-partial) Creates (therefore) waves . Waves make nodules *(false self, etc. so LIES (these nodules) are his truth)

1)Biological need, 2) symbolic demand in who's wake arise desire "recognize me". But other is fragmented, so you never get whole (which is what you want)

When I talk, I make a space for you (a hollowed out) in pure language.

Speech transforms other (show other trying to fulfil what the "I" changed it into)

I am not paranoid (defensive knower

I am temporal (limited time

Keep rolling in talk= avoid saying what you 'know'

Time is what upsets ALL apple carts. The run-on of stories is de-stabilizing the imaginary-identity ego. It's the TRUTH. De-stabilize (like the real) Also do this in directing.

Be in relation to (un-imagined) future, where death will round off the incomplete. BY PAYING HOMAGE to the incomplete.

truth of human subject-- realization of temporality (& so, falsity of imaginary and symbolic masks that try to avoid this troubling truth;)

I'm never going to get to say it all (which is ego's program of self-presentation). So don't try to 'mean' (as writer)

To give truth (in play) to old self(audience) is useless; must re-constitute audience. By not-giving normal reference points.

Spectator-- you'll never get to 'understand' (your ego's project): Just be-in it. Bad ambiguity is art that implies you should "get it" through emotional triggers of performance.

Good art "you can't be fulfilled" vs bad art, gives fulfilment to self who is ego.

Teach "do not fulfil" to students.

As artist, never give up your desire. Two ways of giving up- either for some symbolic, social good (settling for identity as 'team player) or insisting on own imaginary satisfaction ( pure vision, arogent self-arousal, mystic vision, too sweet, goody-goody, artsy (wilson etc).

No: contest, cruel

Desire= recognize me. (couched by symbolic, in memory of imaginary-- gaps in symbolic stage "recognize me) Play: recognize me! "Who am I?"

Being 'on the edge' (of an experience? feeling? idea?) passing into it-- nothing.

The edge where it's registered, only there

The paradoxical formulation: stage as that.


edge: tension between name and reality is origin of poetry (imagery is contra-poetry (wholeness) so destroy image (in painting with light, atmosphere, etc, even pt of view)

How destroy image?

Art: produce an anguished, anxiety-ridden confrontation with the reality of the human condition (lacanian analysis, as opposed to childlike imaginary or symbolic rule-playing and role-self)

That's a leap of faith (that it's better than 'bliss)

So give audience, rather than smiles or tears, a SOBER re-integration into human society. Plays (like Genet) re-dismember to-be-human.

Staging must not turn back into ikon added to one's collection

don't give ikons (handleable. "I can't handle that. . .I don't get it. . .

Give up PLEASURE (jouassiance) which feeds ego, rather accept one's desires (unfillable, error or projection) as the BURDEN of sublimation that it is. Art vs pleasure?

Everyone 'knows', has worked up their own 'truth'. Should artist just say 'here's MY truth?" How boring, more or some more 'wrong".

Artist is one subjecting self to vissitude of not-knowing, and yet acting. Letting the real upset his applecart. A sarcrifice, scapegoat

There is no stable reference center to meaning.

Unsayable, relate to 'no play SAYS it

Failure (to conceptualize) is success

Success (inc conceptualizing) is failure

A discourse close to delerium

Man: wilderness in which spirit manifests

Colonized by language

So: don't think language can describe wilderness

It supresses it, beats it back

Searching city (the colonized) to discover wilderness?

No. Rather destroy tracts of the city

"But NO! That's destroying YOURSELF!

Only way. To see spirit re-spurt. Tragic

Each of us could go mad (if we search for

Start with gesture (impulse) of destruction?


Take away lens, you get hologram

Regress (to id) in service of ego

is like going into implicit order, to bring up fluctuates,

then codified in explicate?

Rather than copying a model, return to source(id-implicate)

& don't make your OWN model

A life spent, reading

looking for theory, to free self from captivity in world of subject-object suffocation. Anything that blurs borders, that introduces the flow that obliterates-- but that flow can't be held on to (theory) or it isn't a flow-- don't coagulate into NEW theory.

So, no icon, image making; rather undercut and doubt. Be lured into incoherence and obscurity (to prevent reification of flow-id-implicate). Eary in writing, hard in staging.

icon-clarity= idiology


rigor, step by step, the polarities(multiple) and contradictions.

Faith. . .in what arises.


Artist is sacrificial offering who undergoes world. . .with great sensitivity (rather than toughening the shell, as happens in life. "Theory" and illustrative-ikon is a shell toughening)

Each line holds certain kinds of possible interactions.

Choose one that keeps in play the IGNORANCE of 'what's really going on here?'

Because ANY conclusion (I know whats going on). . .ultimately re-opens (later in life, realize yes-but).

So: always be there already (in the upseting of the conclusion)

Keep that in play. (rather coagulating into an image)

Theory; to explain things? No. Escape. Things proved not-as-you-thought. Til it too closes into prison.

But how make theory that doesn't end in death-dealing closure?

Meaning of this is. . .(Nagarana's NOT) not X, but not non-X

Chaos: gap. Hole. Be at edge

Art produces feelings, which discharge thoughts.

Its question of thoughts vs meanings

Meaning is link of two thoughts (she loves him; he doesn't love her; ie- life is hard)

But I try: thoughts that can't be encapsulated in any going system.

Except a system (like man, like uncons) that can't be grasped. Like the eye that sees through not-being seen. (Japnese)

Don't DIVE at meaning. Fly as low over it as possible without meaning gumming up the virture of being well-spoken. (Being able to go-on, without sadness and rigidity of knowing) No knowledge besides that of non-sense.

"This is a book I do not understand. I'm putting a photo of. . .between it's pages"


Hole. SPLIT exists between imaginary and symbolic. You are in one, and in other, and not in hole. But hole is in your cemter, it is you!!!!!!!

Details are all. Rehersal= discober details that reveal that truth is in non sense. In other rehersals, discover what to add that re-inforces what you 'believe'. No! Discover details that show this is partial-truth.


I, the truth, am speaking (KM) Behind is driver, uses you, makes you slip and slide. That driver is truth. You are possessed by truth, your presentation is 'acting', ego.

I want to do whats good for my ego, yet my ego is bad for me. So actor who serves intention makes IDOL of ego-self. Better, be out of step with ego (intention). Doesn't serve text? Serves art, as "releaser" from ego idols.

Analysis-thinking-(thinking in art?)

End is not to function well in world

but to question being in the world. (is world 'there"?)

any idea (billards on a slanted table) immediately suffocates-- the moment it get's stated, run from it rather than develope it.

Immidately NEGATE it (being at egde of experience, another idea)

de-write all your ideas, plots, images--fast! Erase them with something else, ANYTHING else.

Put a picture in between pages of book. DE-write idea


Make CALCULATED slips (steal from jokes)

(Find something about which you can't tell the whole truth, that will be then, the real.

If you 'conquor and coagulate' it, it's not longer real)

Stay with real.

Coagulated KNOWLEDGE will turn against you (false hope? suicide (in coded form))?

If you start to think about things DEEPLY-- you get into trouble, discovering you who are thinking is a piece of whazt you are thinking about, and that piece is unavailable for analysis.

Start directing a play, to--

1) reveal the play 2) excite the audience 3) show your own response.

Each moment should question-- how is this to be used? What is blind and unavailable here?

Am I collapsing something vast(true) into something that imprisons, that ego-invokes closure

Everything is connected, like distant points on a spider web, so jump fa in the writing to make vibrations as you pluck.



(in split)



light odds

3rd person (desire): speak in 3rd person (me) in present tense?



* Fow, but flow IN , to agitate the hand. *

DE FOCUS (keep going)

Flow but flow IN, to agitate the hand

The swirl down the drain

hole to God


Reach to vanished object

Swirl to keep it in view, savor

Dreamtime, enter here

Idols: gaze frozen

Happiness? This is a key. . . (I go out I go in)

Happiness? This is a key . . .I (...)

Two kinds people, oriented to all they know, or oriented to what they don't (CAN'T) know


Language spins the unreal.

Now; image takes over

Language: God who is absent (non-being)

Imagination is bad, fills void of non-being that is pregnant, that produces not images but. . .love?

(Images vs love. Love is blind)

There is learning (head

There is evolution (environment

Two levels twist on each other--jokes, art, schizoid

De-focus, keep going (bump & twist)

think against blowing curtain, running water, (not stillness)

differences, not in things, in relationships!

Give self PERMISSION (to bore self, fail, discover!)

In simply not interested in many of the LEVELS people are interested in

In this room now-- psychology, event, gravity, cosmos, god, social forms, mental organization, effort, non-being, drift

level by level

My directing should be making LEVELS present

Be as daring as a dream

The non-existent is what you tune to

Poets "We keep language going

Language: "I worry asbout my body

Books "--

Language play-- inside and outside as one

Not imaginatiuon

the love, non-existent

See by erasing (only then, love enters


A look that erases, a wide unfocused look

takes you inside

It lets outside pour in

(God, who is outside ego-I

Take no thought for the morrow= wide, unfocused look

Language is worried about itself:

It twists: It turns

Everything is its opposite, it's own negation

What is postulated, is turned


Set everything (anything) into WHIRL

(scenery, buildings, tables, persons-- zigzag)

Everything is interested ONLY as reflection of what. . .is other

(negation os itself)

Humans are only 'potentia' constructs in search of reflector in order to 'be' (just like. . .gd without being)


Poetry saves (The book that gives keys: keys to what: Here's a sentence that is a key: Dog's shoes: If a key is de-keyed it turns nothing except it tries something else: if a key is de-keyed: How.

This is a key, but I don't know how to use it. (Mundane situation)

I am in OTHER world. It peeks through


Holograms of silence: of no-meaning

Make a language that silences itself, that cut's a hole that =s silence

Language implies meaning-- but it's only dirt, sticking to it

People say-- no meaning to what you do. So not worth the time. But all our time is spent on no-meaning things which we let fall into LOCAL meaning grids (accidental) . Be lilies of field


The meaningless. The contradictory (hover-craft)

The bringer of meaninglessness. Everey one possible, but in suspension, before wave collapses it into 'fact', the lie of the local

Fight meaning, so truth enters


Tourism. Search for OTHER PLACE that is key

Turn key to make a FIT

Armed with the ultimate feeling that this is all meaningless-- one tries to see through what is HERE, and this is done to crack open the shell, the meaninglessness of it all-- and touch something ELSE

The complexity of the universe is so great, you can never know it. So everything you do or say is 'error'. I try to get the feeling that each move is gibberish-- if seen from the perspective of the completely unguessed at and yet-- you can be lucid in that necessary meaninglessness of your verbal and physical gestures.

Science & art: beauty as ultimate; phrases that want to shape selves, then found to be (must be!) applicable.

Beauty & ? versus meaning or knowledge


Need. . .unbeautiful. . .to love

need. . .not love to create beauty

Beauty and love, whirl to celebrate selves

non-beauty & non-love to feed Yin/yang


Make the confusion snowball into something immense and total.


My strings connect things, just like I like writing when you sense connections racing back and forth like neural networks


To actors: Play the multiple possibilities in each phrase, but with arrogance, not trying to help, saying "only a few will get this", biting it out.

This is Samuel, he is working hard to keep his mind a blank!

(By acts, words etc)


Use deep voice (hear it) of self, commenting on set (invisible) scene

Then scene?


Schema (The most important word

I have to throw myself into space to whirl

Into language

Into disruptive emotion: or throw the perceived. . .

Universe is main character

My belief is:

universe is using me to find out about itself

I am in communication with universe

Universe wonders-- do I exist? Tries to find out

Web image of breaching

If multiple universes exist, seems less 'necessity' rules

Yet, I've always thought drama-- necessity

Yet, is that the point, create drama without drama?

MY BELIEF IS. . .(interviewed)

UNIVERSE as a whole: unknowable!

The human condition

Know details-- whole? Can't know. Hungry to know. Driven!

So: happy to discover mistakes, error, mess, because that's

the UNIVERSE speaking, breaking through (Lacanian reality?)


Universe is not knowable, parts are

To know parts is to get hypnotized

(escape hypnotized by embodied action of other levels)

(politeness is code like 'knowable parts)

animals adapt to reality, man adapts reality to self, but he is hypnotized

dance (dying twitch) is source

explode seeds, land ideas, and try to let home get built about 'em

Poem (play) turn things into inhabitiles: explode into a container

Turn 'event' into timelessness

(Lacan: desire to be ONE fails. Each act=be one (universe offers a part, siezed, is failure)

There is no law except that there is no law (each law is local)

Escape from time!

***I've decided to escape from time***

I've decided to. . .(each of my theory premises)

Be awake to fringes of experience

***I've decided to be awake to the fringes of my experiences. ***

Every order which transcends the established, can only be introduced in terms of something infinitely small

Beginnings-- nearer the heart of the matter than elaborations-- that drift into already institutionalized

(beginning for actors-- do less)

Impulse: not fleshed out-- the 'flesh' will be already known.

Meta physics: study of ultimate causes

& underlying nature of things:

independent of time (infinitely-- not local (eternity is invisible


Needn't link (cunninghm

Radical 'other' (not in this time (

World into universe (invasion reversed

Inside out

Whirl ,. 90 degree result release

Axil rotate

Orbit rotate



(Bunuel nolink surprise)

How. . .works (mind, world, universe

What happens when--

Why it never--

(think these as meditations, then write after

Speech radiates from nucular phrases

not building blocks

but cells

that radiate

then encounter another



Rules (God's) Mysteries should never be solved. (Blaga?)

Doderer: Don't try to change-- even by figuring out-- just observe. Just express. Never be clever, just phenomenon of mystery. If you try to change world of self, you go blind.

Niet: word is world acting through us. Embody music, bathe in radience of language. To let language operate is to withdraw from it first.

Gutersloh: join no fads, just let saying radiate. If you try to communicate, you smooth over your vision. (my burden- wealth, means I musn't communicate to be 'loved'-- as other must do for $)

Accept chance, waves of life surface your material. If you force it, it's wrong. Torment of chance acceptance. Not trying to change world of own program which becomes prison.

death drive origin, ego attacks id to supress impulse-- then realize ego is enemy, want to kill it. One wants tyo self destroy to attack this false constraint (ego-imaginary)

Man isn't entirely in man (the power plant isn't in plant, it's in river, but that's in gravity, but that's in. . .

form of life is release (dam burst) into being: life is to be on verge-- but to come into being is to 'fall'

psy-an is to free from imaginary

but there is no access to real (haphazard, missed detail) and symbolic can only negate imaginary, not touch real

(mystery can't be solved-- solved= another prison)]

Death drive aimed at real, by attack on imaginary, rides bicycle of symbolic, face masked.

In tearing assuncer the individual, tragedy exemplifies the effect of all genuine experience of art.

Write algebra

science of undefined magnitudes

relations of things-non-ified: so real things refered to are de- defined.


speech disturbs language

in life-- something disturbs normal (twists it; a metaphore arises)

write unknowable subject?



Density unimaginable (Gregor) of differences (brachings) rather than ambiguity of contradictions

Subject is produce or recognize density

(Universe is formless-- it's so dense

Something is missing from life (density)

(Visual gags like Baxter, Mascolo, Kovacs, as what fights density?)


Each word. . . . is less than the refered to: so, need another. But

you still hold ashes. Life is elsewhere. You hold death. Go after

another death

Flower= total - X

World is interlace, a construction punctured into existence.

I want to demonstrate, or show, something

which turns out to be other than what I demonstrate or show.


What is always there is a thing, and a desire to reach beyond that presented thing (in which direction? a non-direction)

Density; is to hold the whole field present


Trying to know ( to prove, to question) is self-defeating behavior, which always falls into error. So either show this happening (the tripping up of the will-to-know)


show (write) a language thrust that willfully builds in it a know-not

(Algebra)(Writing an anti-poem, with the opposite spin to the written poem)


Put into play: parasites (noise, the other) which stops things from fulfilling themselves in death


Show how world twists away from being understood, (like grasping at a fish in water) --so that it may exist!


World we know, constructed in such a way as to be able to see itself.

This by cutting self up into see and seen. But seen, is minus sees, so it eludes itself.

Mystery is why world conceives desire to see itself-- since it therein suffers (being cut)(being non-whole)

But this mystery may arise from our insistence on questioning

where there is really, nothing to question

but; so

as you know more, you again make a cut

this makes universe again expand, as we try and capture it

dog chasing tail, snake eats self

Remember seminar-- practical details of specialists, rather than getting to heart of matter (show critiques or anguish). Remember in groups, lay back and suddenly, express true root concern.

A play that is continual expressions of such-- cutting through the momentary deflections into specific locals or sits--

always return those (and they MUST be) to the WOOSH of what's under and always the same music

taste, kernal, pearl

(Use personage: here's the story. I know what's going to happen. etc

First, sink into ideal music (dense, whole-cosmoid, paradise

(Gourmet-Evreinof. private, single soul but touches kernal

Theater- urge to do it differently, transformation

Bourgoise detail-transcendence; Doderer

Purposeless attention and effort; no 'purpose oil'. Losen from fetters of self-- allows spontanious erruptions of exemplerary. Doderer

Move from position of

one who thinks OTHER knows (has secret)


one who knows there is NO other with secret

and (plus) it is ME, that 'other'.

one who knows, doesn't exist (is woman)

signifier (anything said) is about another signifier, only.

So no 'statement' can be 'true (ultimate, related to real(whole))

There is displacement at work. always

any whole (conceivable), is a part.

Desire= quicksilver. Sieze a 'part' (object) and it's shifted to the other part that splits off, from the part

Any siezed thing, SPLITS from the seizing

Must see that phantesy (illusion, object (a) is 'necessary'

while not believed in

since unconscious 'knows' all things (a) are totally partial, contingent and untrue

play the role, know it's unreal

know about blindness.

I'm not interested in life, & not interested in something beyound life, but I'm interested

The look at something makes it slide away


Art; imitate itself

(become what you are. Dandy--cast off--eliminate--escape

you are the void, around which is a momentary configuration

I am the void, around which there is nothingness

Demonstrations that fail?

Writer with nothing to say

* * * * * * Everything works not / and so REVEALS! * * * * * *

(just have fun, push things around that generate sparks(child-play))


write double binds

everything contaminates everything else

name the entwinment of the other-in-the-same which is the condition of the same itself

that whereof one cannot speak, thereof one cannot be silent-- one must write it

(one cannot speak the


in order to avoid confusion one always produces a certain confusion

say yes, yes, not to pure game or expedditure, but to the necessity of contamination (no way to hear a god uncontaminated by being(the wish of Levinas)

a writing under erasure.

erasure, while it retracts what is at once asserted, does not leave nothing

this is a new epoch, no longure bound by the closure of knowledge

a language without knowledge

indicate our accound of the world COULD be different, but we can't say HOW it will be different

a new epoch in which there is no 'present'

mean to say 'nothing' yet trapped in saying something

try to write something that avoids all encapsulation (meaning) yet

is relateable to like life

Aporia; unpassable path; write the point at which you encounter the self-engendered paradox beyond which you cannot pass

utopian longing for 'free-play'

try to be at place where SIGNIFICANCE has yet to congeal into meaning or concept, (dance of the pen)

release a multiplicity of meaning

avoid the itch to make sense-- to discover the true hidden meaning

the project of meaning is deluded if it forgets how language creates and misleads the process of thought


(Obstruct communication is sand to make pearl. director shouldn't explain text, but extend it elsewhere, explode it)

If essence is ALWAYS exposed to the possibility of accident, is this then not a necessity, rather than a chance, possibility-- is it not then an essential possibility

so: the outside is NECESSARY to the constitution of a phenomenon in its as-such, a condition of the possibility of the inside

not a defense of formlessness, but a regulated overflowing of established boundaries; the most general principal of this overflowing is the principal of a constitutive outside.

what anyone does, escapes them.


all is suspended over an abyss of fundemental ignorance about the origin, truth, presence, essence, reality and nature of the tings we represent, and all our suppliments of knowledge are in fact substitutes for knowledge that we fundementally and originally 'lack'

where there is mastery, there is neither respect not freedom.

to produce 'effects' of meaning

to function without anything you 'want to say'

this is to produce an ethical space where 'the world' has the latitude to play

make the known, unknown

that which makes visibility possible, must remain invisible. If the source were seen, it would blind the beholder

meaning must await being said or written in order to inhabit itself, and in ordedr to become, by differing from itself, what it is: meaning.




(wait for blessed exception)


RHYTHM (tedlock) Spun out Bang: gravity (yes-no

(life beyond linar one (death))

Doderer, start chaos-- emerge gleam(window)

NEEDN'T follow 1st image, can jump (it may/may not return)

B'cuz; in life a chain is deflected (fortunate interruptions)(verticality thereby zaps) and truth enters)

CAST A NET, will something get trapped? Faith in chance

Eager for new philosophical discovery, not to finally discover true, but to re-orient, from a new angle, on life, so it's freshened for a moment, life made new, i.e. noticeable, in a world where the 'livingness' is subsumed by the particular objects and items:

What is mundane life like:

if informed by

consciousness, that tries to keep vibrating to basic

polarity in everything (livingness)

is-is not perfection-imperfection

light-dark time-timelessness

order-disorder truth-untruth

sense-senselessness love of god-love of self

open soul-closed soul joy-despair

asleep-awake beginning-end

blindness-seeing faith-reason

power-spirit reason-revelation

remembrance-forgetting sin-salvation

way upward-way downward


and offshoots




is this real? when I used the word X, was it the real word x. Is this lamp real


make next line misrepresent the response to preseeding line, slide to side, mental glance slips to side aspect or associated aspect that falsifies

I have something to show, look at this


try wrong props

be bad at staging


de facilitate (big bureau in for prop holder)

Theater of touch

allow nothing to be 'identified with'

use periferal vision



Consciousness hides the real

The real is energy, consciousness is form


This room has the name . . .

Look at this (let me show you this) -- doll, person, head, a self representative, an "I"


Write the horizon of what-is that isn't: The OTHER that item needs to exist (good-evil, etc) but the OTHER to a not-yet existent item-- so a thing that acts and manipulates but avoids all identity.

use consciousness badly, be bad at language

be bad at consciousness, de-facilitate and de-focus

Consciousness hides the real, so let it be used sloppily.

Root is anguish that real life source isn't allowed to function. It's taboo against 'be stupid'.\ One 'learns' mastery , but must always return to be stupid.

Creativity is let stupid surface (playful, use it, artistry). Most art supresses stupid and divergent. So audience feels identified with the subject, not the artistry. "Oh yes, this is serious mature subject, well riden".

vs-- oh, this is undeniable stupidity, emptiness, nothingess, made useful (in that it evokes nomen)

Everything has a seed of beauty

Which only flowers

when it is let go (is in the past)


not a question of making things simple and comprehensible

but making things intricate, discover folds that hold


of nothing, or emoptiness

All kinds of bad reasoning "it doesn't follow"

like suffering= learning (opportunity

(in the end, it's not being a producing machine-- it's catching things on the fly)( no speak from mastery! ugh)

The impossible

2 people mixed

knife edge-->


JEWEL Important things can't be handled or caught-- fly by 100 MPH, slice,


teaching (learning) life chance to learn

ground of things


(I have nothing to say)




hunger to mean (new meaning)

It's about straining toward being about something that can't be represented

I want this to mean something. . . or (It's a book, but something about it is invisible)

Make the art not-work.


speak in order to say nothing (make speech upset its own apple cart. If it 'says' it lies)

write the erasure of the work.

Saying gives me-- but suppressed (brings death to the real)

Absolutely everything said lies (reduces, takes the fullness and multiplicity from being)

Everything passes-- everything is vanity, a lie, but love the continuum from which it comes and goes


power. "I possess" this (Amis, Mamet-- this is shit and I'M in control of it, better than it, God)

(in vulgar world?)



2) make present, not the material but the obscurity that blinds like a flash of light

3) art doesn't belong to truth, work is itself what escapes the moment of the true. (everything CAN be different, untrue)

4) Let disorder enter. Don't write ideas, write non-deeds


5) (+ think LOOPS, music or words)

6) 'non'-sense

7) TO speak is to go in search of CHANCE

8) Prior to-ness

9) all ideas are wrong, ideas must be destroyed, escaped from

10) fire separates from itself, burns itself

11) develop nothing (or lose its fire of erruption)

Suppose life exists only so it can be doubled (this grey light, paris superimposition)

or transformed ( just, so much material for transformation)

The reversal (turn it upside down

You go to (X) and pop, end up (Y)

Hunger for meaning. Everything 2nd reality, construct. Hunger for meaning= closure into 2nd reality of REMAINS OPEN

Just desire to speak truth, but I haven't the necessary genius. . .

Most give meaning to live through personal relations, achievement, acquiring experiences: but fact of given intellect to divine secrets of nature. Figure out meaning of life. Enough.

But: if you can't (then express the frustration?)

There's something else there (even as an original staging)

How the hunger, for that something else

That something else (incoherence, loop out)

Expansion, circulation, tension (MATISSE)

The elsewhere is peripherial vision. How we live, using peripherial vision, which gives plasticity.

All 'said' eliminates it. You only see when you don't look.

Idea is to lose your way




write in such a way that the writing falls apart

stubles, distracted INCOHERET but try to coopt into a loop

Something can't be said. Try and say it, discursively, it goes dead. It's only alive in cracks between things. Try to say cracks-- they fill up. So, lay back.

Human life is what poisons human life. Our real being isn't in in life. Where else?

We are embedded in something. That is elsewhere, not in life. Life is alergic to itself.

Things to die to

(make head spin)

(Problem with telling story-- you are immediately sucked into this false reality

I, is not the starting point

being needn't be 'what occurs'

I never occur without a world (and vice versa)

Task: descend (no) spread (yes) to where I is not.

Use this moment, to die to it. (Not negate the things present, but die to them (make head spin?)

Fight nostalgia, but since it can't be denied, find the alternative space inside it ORRR with bright, let it errupt, smash it

Fort-da. (play that game)

Bright light and walls, to make cracks sprout.

Write differences only, but you can 't write that, only collect and later, piece together

I'm not interested in anything, but I'm really interested (waiting for something in cracks. The rejected. I'm interested in not being interested, in the thing I'm not interested in and dying to it?

(function needn't be the form: eisenman)

I'M SURPRISED (i didn't think you'd, I expected, etc)


Stage: burble-- line emerges as a lift from burble

get into your head without hypnotising by interrupting

To be interested in CONTRARYNESS


The mutliple comes before the one.

What counts is not items but what's between em. Intervals. Disparaties. It's not a matter of finding unity of this or that manifold, but of seeing unity as a holding together of prior virtual dispursion. Not the 'one' that is said in many ways-- but rather the fact that each thing may always diverge into others

A texture that, start to explain, it expands into ever more explinations. Thus-- I show not fragments of a to-be-discovered whole, but a potentiality for divergenvce within any given unity

Find multiple in MIDST of things (brite lit vs suggestive dark) Folds.

Chess= knight's move

McKenna chatter. Kunc vulgar, hallucinate into non-present, REAL

How did I get here?

Gnostic? World is bad (no God

go elsewhere or

remake world


Vogelen: live in gap, not in a 'place'

In a space, attention darts to keep out hallucination of perifery


make dart of attention build . . ."other"

Normal consc. is spotlight in dark storeroom.

But: if objects themselves light up everything in space and time?

all is there. In drug lite

There is no law except there is no law

I've decided to be awake to fringe of experience

I've decided to not be in my speaking, it comes from edge


What I do is SHIFT

DART (mind or eye?)

(interfere) !

Beginning (closer to heart of matter), no development (which is co- opted by forms that exist)

dart, zig-zag, swirl, that pattern to create field.


LEAP OUTSIDE THE FRAME, to re come-in from askew


In the past, all serves God, serves OPEN end

Now serve man, efficiency, defined ends.

Art refuses to serve, spin an otherwise-- the 'refusal to serve'

(imaginary focus)

Staging= lab analysis (twist, stretch, stain, artificalize

static electricity

burble of activity out of which-- speech

lab analysis


flush out from hiding (Hey! put in gap, (for spark))

Go to art, trying to make 'sense' of things

1) Causal

2) Find a 'form'

3) flush out hidden 'itch', resonance, dimention

To flush out a hidden dimention in us, where churns

To separate out, cause coagulation, boil off

What's hidden in plain sight? Jewish letter-numbers

(What's wrong with music? Listen, then it turns wrong, shift to new. Loops? fragments combined?)

Look to art to return to awe in face of inexplicable, yet surf on it.

Intuition: start to develope it, it BUILDS in the world a system, a prison. Makes life possible but goes dead

Try to stay on point of intuition, don't let it develop (poetry)

I need to keep not-knowing in play (read to re-plentish not-knowing)

truly red hot work is work on yourself

Staging= lab analysis (twist, stretch, stain, artifice (put lines thru text to create spaces for the BURRBLE of act out of which speech arises as a slice (gap, cut

flush out from hiding (hey! put in gap for sparks).

Brando says to live other life. No. Flush out a hidden dimention in our life, where churns the. . .What's hidden in plain sight?

Stay on point of intuition, don't let it develope (poetry). Intuition starts to develope, and therepon builds into a system, a prison. This makes our life, but also kills it, goes dead.

Keep not-knowing in play (read to re-plentish not-knowing)

Look to art to return to awe in the face of the inexplicable, yet surf on it (when life goes dead because it is over-known)

Every line a wait, so twist can enter (truth bends into existence)!

Everything is good if it's a first thing. How make continal no-baggage, begin again.

ALWAYS START from language mis-understanding, overstated, etc (seen by other, but accepted)

THE IMPASS OF LANGUAGE creates the experience of the inexperienceable, the unsayable

BUT: start from you know not where. Make each said a drug, that effects other


give, in line, what you don't have

ask for other than what you ask for

It is the impass of language that creates the experience of the inexperienceable, the unsayable

Language is the medium that makes truth unsayable

to give up on one's desire means give up on what exceeds an object aimed at.

Meaningful speech is only possible on the presumption there is a stable referential center for lauguage-- this presumption of stability is in error.

The subject as but a slice (gap) in burble of activity

The real stands behind the reality constituted by our language

knowledge offers itself as replacedment for lived experience (wisdom)

man has otherness inside him

Express the labor and energy of the mind seeking truth; the motions of souls, not their state of rest (a language to) Baroque

Desire to kill (death drive) one's imaginary subjectivity

Break false identification with symbolic grid…

Brecht-alienation/ Stein-begin again, essence/ Burrow- cotentive, I persona/ Ehrenzweig- non-gestalt/ Peckham- disorientation rehersal, rage for order imprisons/ Lacan-gap, language imprisons, desire is for full other(illusion) to grant being/ Doderer

Peckham: I am NOT really whole, I am fragment and so are you. My 'order' give sense of whole, but it's a lie

I'm not interested in anything, but I'm interested (in trap that all interest in a thing becomes, In the dis-order needed to erase

everything we gain (understanding, system etc) improsions us/ and leaves out in 'un-existing'-- lots


SO: DO WITHOUT conventionalized orientations.

BUT: it will always be so (something missing)


Cognitive tension

Cognative tension

be drugged lunatic; incoherent

BE a drugged lunatic, incoherent

obcessed with the un-representable-- which is right here!

present fact that the unpresentable exists.

STAGE: ONLY THE TENSIONTENSIONTENSION between two people. Never think one, think two

Write from the one emotion (anxiety tone-- notice quiver tone) that then tumbles into others over the cusp

ACTORS: Magnetic TENSE voice. Search for moment in which geers mesh. Pase-- look up or down (heaven or hell) for next idea, which comes from file card shuffle. Then one POPS in without being willed!

WIND blows those cards

MOMENTS OF CHOICE-- pluck, but not willfully.

Wind russles cards of mind

Card pops up, pluck it

The realism is silly, driven blind people, plucking cards the recognise-- the release is a perverse wil-less choice of cards

Nothing can go wrong in universe, so life is introduced so wrong is a possibility, an alternative, arrising from the suffering; anti-matter.

CHOICE is all, not of an item, but to refuse all previous items

(Novel: the heavenly saint Maxwell came into a room and

The ordinary human being Elsa, ...)


(came from sky?

Mother + 'halo" candles on cake (madona)

beautiful 'me' as cut out

boat on glass ocean/ sky ocean line


EYES! (round corner)

cross eyes?

Mystical globe on head

do plays, rather than alien contact. Yearn

stare at sky?

screen dreams-- alien amy?

screen-- hyman

Dream of sky diagram (and other world on horison

friedman= to [Foreman}

Edward (eddy?) to 'rich'

Schenchner London 'too hard" (happiness as tiny. Make vast tiny? Sad--tragedy-- vast

Sex thing (enter space, crack open level

"Trick self into writing"

Chest opening

Hunger: to express what is not available to me, what is invisible:

reach for the 'alter" in what is altered by that reach

The 'good' for source of hunger (which is the good?)

Life-- meaning given-- corrupt and die 'it', but MUST let it be twisted by life, the ground in which to manifest, dirstorts, it's all we have-- to come into being is to be distorted.. Hunger, for good (non-distorted) in this.

The 'other' as priority


"Look" (kmuti)

Let light there be light from--

adventure of life, not jungle, but horizontal (insight abt invisible).

Archetecture of excess irrelevent (grids etc)=ornament

write from whole (hole) G S Brown-- x}} x4 ""xtra: as universe see itself----------------------------------

Levinas: Other, closer to self than ego.

Other (face) means totaziling can't be

LOOK just

(trick self to write)

The "delay" (mind)

How to express what is not available to me, what is invisible to me (what is not word (operator) controlled, so befuddle word)

Reach for the altering in what alters when you reach-- displacement, not thing

Next word unforseen "glitch"

Say anything. Future lassos it

o] O= universe creates us to see itself, but then 'we' are left out

Do I exist or just ephiphenomenon

Make self real by repeating 'unreal possibilitiness' of universe-- or fall into dead shell

I am, and later I think about it. Doing preceeds intending. Cast net

Now, and here, are never seen (since they escape word net)

Write not cause-result, but fling net and re-group: not reactions, but escapes

Write is delay (reactions) so new can enter. Next word, swerve

Shut off outside world to correlate with universe. (all these books around me are striving to catch a little bit of that something that is the universal fluid we swim in so can't see)

Assume: I AM the opposite of what I am (how I am constituted)

To what extent am I part of you & you & you-- and to what extent am I cut off into "i" (keep erasing self & see if you're still there

Real dilema: (lacan also) survival vs enrichment. Model needed to navagate, is what cuts off richness)

Not who am I, WHAT am I

2 events needed for consciousness-- waved intersect.

Even sends an echo wave. (life writing from 2 directions on same line)

Now moment isn't. Consc/ isn't, until a 'compare ray' is there.

So: create false next step (my syle) to make NOW be

Consc is relation of one brain to another (create echo wave

Osscilate self to make arise the consciousness (eyes move, nurons fire


Just look (as little R =flux of looking: like BREATHING

Don't judge, just go-on


Problem in (holding onto) sense of self; buddah

Levinas(other closer than ego)

Lacan(mirror, imaginary I)

Protean self (Neitzche via Ogelvy)

GS Brown (spearate out to know self, can't (include separated)

Nothingv can be grasped fully, so let go (bump around rocks in stream)

SLIDE Answer/reply to --something else


No center; PATHOS (I can't control the writing, different moments control, & when I try to be in control, it is dead)

Background, can't become figure (can't be double for divine) so,

center displaced-- but not leaving a void. Since background (not a figure/not a void) is there

DISPERSED, PROLIFERATED (no central features)

PATHOS of contingency at center (the depth of the joke is, it isn't deep)

Awe at pure existence of world (contingent, accident, prolioferate

MY whole life, ravished by DISPERSED; (Mind is-- out in circut)

Burrow, Ehrenzweig, Gnostic (mind must cover all alternatives)

Lacan, Voeglen Metaxi

Search for ground in DISPURSION

(ungraspable, whatever falls into gestalt form, restore to ungraspable)


Old art, change reality (self or environ):

New: change interaction between self & reality.


Above is why doubling is interesting


Secret (behind door) turns out to be what is already known

Papp, Ibsen vs diverge

Dream, no center, travel, no center ('things')

Stage the PULL AWAY FROM idea, don't "act out" but negation of presented physicalization or gesture

Make no mistake-- these plays are about PARADISE!

Not about alienation, failure of reason, because it's tranformed by twists of language

Pure inventiveness ( possible in language) that plauyful freedom is all.

The desire to manipulate


To SAY and the terror is FREE

Do people want new ideas. new techniques?No, just play with old, present--

Fuzziness stops the being imprisoned by language

The interconnectedness of things (which root is in their 'nothing')

Not great truths, but play with what self-evidently. . .






What is meaning of life-- how to serve that

Task: getting high on what -is (alienation, reason failure) Let inner rhythmic, matrix, flood us. (matrix; intercellular substrate: something-- within which something else originates or takes form)

Go (to art) to be reminded (retuned, refocused) on what generates us, the matrix

subject different material "items" to that

Not-- we are alienated, reason doesn't work-- but

what DOES work is'complexity, reinvigorating

re-birthing as

born again to complexity / creativity

(Papp & Brook-- simplify, clarity vs proliferate, lattice

What is meaning of life-- universe to see itself?

to evolve into God?

How can we help/serve-- create, the glitch that we are, the FOLD, amplified

transform matter (items) into God, light, spirit


(Pre-socratic, speak truth, make it see-able (the known, the always operated upon.

Make see-able the stumble that underlies the real. The creativity living in the stumble (Lacan?)

I give courage! Go to art for courage GLORIFY YOPUR STUMBLE

and re-densify (.since life-- smoothes out and steals (Language does this)


trying to become God

Hooks (fractal

message is-- change the subject (millions of workers tyring to

active vs passive, as issue each hook

Write the obvious (if I open this drawer, Ill be able to take out what I see inside) the real rules of life, twisted

Animal guide?

Down the rabbit hole

Tenniel, cross hatch, grid, lens different grids

write grid (mor-a?)

my thing was always superimpose a mis-match, edges , crack

Something that always

I have, what I don’t

What I have, I don’t ‘have’

I have a thing that doesn’t exist

What exists I don’t have

fetish(part stands for whole) menonomy: all art is

Each moment is FETISH


each book is the failed (to be all) book

Dance (labarynth)

Hold truth at bay

‘delay’ in glass

what truth? Unknowable

Hold UNKNOWABLE (delay) at bay


I have, what I don’t

What I have, I don’t ‘have’

I have a thing that doesn’t exist

What exists I don’t have

All important is discovery of polarity inside tension of high-low

(only low produces high

genius-- most black bile (fire in belly

Staging-- add bile

all SAY=lies

so ‘lie’, so the lie-ness is known

Upset all kowing, to be ‘free

Danger to artist: desire to see destroyed by gift of anticedent knowledge

Things not said, but resonance of words

write the resonance (continuing to sound)’

I seem to be interested in a different class of behavior

that makes present in MUNDANE life. . .

(handlable, breathable)

THAT WHICH (speaks from the’every say a lie’ basis,) to render that the

visible ground

from which words arise) --all SAY=lies

so ‘lie’, so the lie-ness is known


HAND DOWN A SENSE OF the very indeterminate OPENESS, THE very THOUGHTLESSNESS (pg 97

about the totally elusive

source, ground= (potentia:, unmarked tablet as ‘emptiness” that never crystalizes into the ‘thing’ of emptiness) POTENTIAL


(dive into eros, into eyes closed,

space and rotate

WAVE: CREST (foam)

Catch on the fly, last chance, ready to fall, precarious

last gasp (grasp)

All these people driven to something

Such density (other lives, other realms)

register: Light-- objects-- noises--interiours--structures-- desires


The manifest is they key, because the manifest is the trap

Language is the key, because language is the trap

Felling is the key. . .

(All this, an attempt to avoid writing, having to commit to paper


write the avoid ( always AVOID?

Any comitted (written) lies, --so maifest the necessary lie-ground-source

Desparate clutch (wave crest foam


the ‘avoid’

void/avoid :yet theater=witnessed

fires out trees

last bend in

the ‘thing’ burned. wind

a lie that protects by

that lie (pretense)



eludes grasp, always



Nothing is, that doesn’t depend on something else (so is empty:

show it’s (therefore) emptiness


“Other”: OPEN to unlocatable ‘other’

Make it new vs just keep seed (not new)

But see covered with dirt, so recast same old thing so it

surprises, new (Sartre on flesh-- same old thing, momentarily re-cast)

Make what is NEWED the mosy BASIC (Paiget discoveries

what are we here for, where did we come from, what is purpose of life

kitch images of occult, kate’s wall magic hallucinatory girl in cotton field and christ and angles, the thirst for transcendent BUT the braided, interlaced nature of essence which is never independent and so has no basis but context and so is empty (the ground)

Misunderstanding as root of creativity (of above)

fascination (braided) (You (this is

whatever I say doesn’t matter, it’s all the same. Driven, need to believe. Disney and Dallacopia. How BORING not to have God (the elusive) to talk about


something’s wrong

WASTE (throw away) economy

Each moment CRYSTALIZATION OF, make it clear, enigman, something’s wrong. JEWEL!

Use Serres as turbluence

I shall make a HOLE in your understanding. Gap. Jolt. Hole. The brute fact of the inexplicable. I woke up, saw pulled back curtain, it was twisted into a ‘being’, just as I am only a being as I am twisted and so given the surface (illusion) read a soul or self.

Truth about life exists-not (life exceeds all)

eerything is dividable

everything is DOUBLED of pure state into seeable state (iterable)

the minute you begin to speak, you don’t speak


not until you speak, is there a you

which can be defind as a vortex around which your speaking swirls


a whole traditoon in which said, present, conradicts itself (this is what I sensed for years and was lied to about)

VRITUAL instead of ‘possible”

want being, presence, but life isn’t present but virtual

absolute is nothing; empty space is that “between things”

Is existence desirable?

Here is a man who--

here is a table that--

here is A situation in which--

how is a moment constituted, since it’s immediately ‘past’. Braded on itself?

(try to catch now, fail, document that)

as I write-- what’s ‘there’ and where is ‘there’

if you look, consider, --the mechanism that calls up the thing, twists the thing and did so from the moment of constitution. So-- plays about trying to see the distortion, register it, and adjust inner life to it (it happened before each now)

what are you trying to tell me?

(Question ‘listening’, feeling something is going to be said

time and the ‘other’ come to complicate what would have been simple origin

doctors: professors: what should I read? How to MINISTER to myself?

time hitch: time lapse. Langauge a trap because of time, uttered is after impulase; enacted is also after impulse!

art:delay; foreplay-- bad art, filfills


Doubling that is out of sync

time, not space

the minute anything rises in the world, it is different

don’t represent (a theme)

RESPOND TO (a theme which is not representable!!!!

The said vs the saying

try to catch what constitutes self (what ascilates between)

Misuderatandings-- NOT CONFLICTS

Art is where thing is evoked with other thing (paint= scene; life used to evoke= mental field?)

So dense, matching (slight miss-match) can abound.

Everything relates to MANY things (echoes)

so thick

not the normal one person moving another in ‘empty’ space, but make a medium so thick (soup) that every move does many different things, rings many different bells

(Normal Rockwell Vs Picas or etc. Now: advertising replaces density)

normal theater shows “our’ world, & we doing our things

Try to make world

worlding itself

through us.

Normally, what’s going to happen (career--how is it going to end?


what’s going on, what’s happen NOW, in this moment? (Separate self from future & past to delimit the present instant =

musical loops)

Thrill of two trains of thought, related, yoked


1) desire is always for what you can’t identify (Eros) (soul longs for ‘something else’ which it can’t put into words)

2) advertising ruins all art now; because advertising identifies object, makes it stand out from context (follow her voyage, identify with)

but art RELATES object to context. Squiggles suggest a thing, embedded.

Energy field or (verse) yields up the event

Love: as attention caught by ( postulated projected GOD who exhudes) void idea

beauty idea

power idea

Man tries to fathom (how deep) find out what’s at bottom of-- God or self projection?

Is anything really there? If there is, it is so different from anything we can imagine

Fun, game, sportif (all ideas will be filled) Nothing game. aloof game.

ENRICHED “NOTHINGNESS”, fold emptiness (no mother for Richard, that gap)

Other things pass thru that gap (ie, don’t stay)

So try and make those multiple passes be there at once (eriched)

Death Love Reality

| | |

egos, false projection isn’t touchable

self | “nothing”

fills empty

are you out of touch with reality?

are you half dead

what are you in love with

Practically dead. Oh, not quite. That’s what I said. Practicaly dead. Not quite///// Does this mean you’ve lost touch with reality? Oh long ago. I thought so. That’s my only contact. With what? With reality///Are you in love? I don’t think so. How about with me? Oh, why not-- through you of course, the world. Prove it. Just the opposite. What do you mean?

EVERYTHING it’s (opposite?) in a special sense-- SEEDS of other are it’s atoms.

X (marks trhe spot) cross out





swallowed knowledge

(only (x) crossing out something

focus on that

does a proper emptiness give birth to light that blanks into fullness.


there is no ‘thing’ -- only ALL,

thing is only local effect of total weave

(Nothing is interesting, but I’m interested)

QED: Nothing exactly matches itself

No “things”-- that’s why possible & dream (resturant, silver fittings) so potent. They are more connected to web, DO match themselves. (but tht match makes them less interesting?

drinking-- destroys hold of things, returns to ‘all’ source


Be SEIZED by , discourse, music, objects . existence (thing in itself) wants to have its way with us, and sweep us up (with a blank


be a hovercraft: books (diagrams, titles, covers) excite til they start limiting and cutting down possibilities. (‘make title not match itself?)

THIS IN ITSELf / ISN”T ITSELF (identity breaks down)

If I wasn’t here-- PARALLEL WORLDS (there are other universes in which I didn’t just say...(x) maybe I’m in that

Spread arms? and collect, compact

I TRY TO SPREAD AND COMPACT a wide range (not clear away brachings) and end up with a DIAMOND

(this vis a vie jumping levels, writing ‘days’

press into a wad, parts spark each other.

Go into rehersal--upset. ‘trash’ expectations-- this is a

COMPACTING (bring in a new day of ‘writing’)

Leave where you are-- dive in from a different place (or angle). Seems like non-sequator, but isn’t

Shakes- what men do

Moliere: how live by code

Us: how to use mind, language, gesture, to ISMORPH with Ground IE NEURAL FIRINGS

Non-sequetor vs

SPONTANITY of pure observe

One’s reactions separated from core events. Simply listen, don’t bother to keep in mind


track thoughts, but go faster than they go!

wide lens, not narrow lens

Where-how in this space in which I act-- how do I deposit this SPIRITUAT, INTUITED (neural?) experience?


unsayable coagulates around words

blank, nailed by an act

people- nails to hold down the void

How am I here, how am I manifest--”I am here like a person from far away. Notice?

Darkness falls no-body

truth hides in strange places

sit, receive transmission-- phrases

De code into words

keep word ringing in head

use poem that emerges?

I am interested in a theater of impulse and sensation.

I am interested in the moment (the impulse) being disrupted by a part of the heretofore ignored world both outside and inside oneself (sensation).

In my theater, everything posited slides and twists because of the impact of being registered in consciousness-- so nothing on stage is ever really itself, and I try to notate that.

I postulate people as inevitably humiliated by a universal stupidity and childishness that makes its home in all of us. But I want to show the defiantly silly dance of human beings as they are animated by some wonderful force that orchestrates all of this silliness and stupidity into a rigorous and lucid dance of intellect.

Play isn’t about what it’s about (transcending what its about to be about the energy od delay, of hovering)

Everything given is a fall away from the real

(create new sensation)

art transcends all INTERESTS in the absolutly SINGULAR interest of something else

brillant, sparkling, sliding


“My problem is my brain! What’s it doing in secret? What plans is it making for me? How is it laying traps for me?”

Play - a back and forth between “this dead end (death) and a vitality that upsets the cart of identity.

Each ‘event’ is a crystal-- itself and a moment animated by FORCE-- write the force

Theater of sensations-- things available to ‘doing” )precept(

The grid on which my experience may be charted is not my experience

I want to make my play= impenetrable, because CONTRADICTORY at every moment

An impenetrable object = that narssistically loves itself = in which everything that arises = loves itself

Vibratory facticity: “thereness”

Render ‘sensation”= rhythm

To render the REAL:

each moment, my consciousness (MIND) splits.


(each moment, wipe out, begin again, splits: spark gap. quantum jump

Each moment, mind, though it seeks pleasure, avoids pain, above that SNIFFS for “other” outside catagories it knows

(or it dies)

To render the real:

years ago, non-actors, blocked (as I was blocked) and stasis was pause to look around for a way to go on-- new object to arise, new angle of attack on object.

Then: make stage full of objects, strange ones with handles-- you can ‘go on’ with these

Mind wants to dance , but caught in habits and rules

Now; language has own internal ‘go-on ‘ mechanism. Language is ESCAPE from BEING


Render the REAL, which is lures to ESCAPE from being

(all this now a cliche)

Show: EXPERIENCE: of world as it “IS”, not a copy (because we ‘see’ world through frames that supress experience of everything going/being (wrong) ie. different from exprectation

wow-- a deeper self EXPERIENCES that (tension, knowing it’s not going right

The ‘what I’d like to see” moment. Stasis: a theater of ‘notice’ when attention is withdrawn from what’s flowing on-- attention sleeps and something else comes through in some OTHER way than attention, other than focus, see at MARGINS: What’s behind/operative at work, in secret in plain sight: you’re available: surprise

Aramatage: Deal with what’s realy “there”. Props not to use to express, but to make you deal with ‘em.)

Strip husk of presence

HUMMMM: By making presence self-reflective

see a pulsating geometry of flare-intensities in a web

strip presence(toss this off, twist it, toss this off)









(different from Bob-- captures objects he imagines

or Liz layering, interrupting

Me: interfering thrust from ME, in trying to SEE/SIEZE object)


Everything he has not seen or (and) known about keeps him alive

He dies with the words on his lips “At last I know nothing”.

A better way of listening: listen to the unexpected, no longer knowing what one is listening to

(That was unexpected. . .)

No poet comes into being without the disorder of reading.

( I am thrown into disorder by that. . .)

Good. He knows nothing. But this he’s geting to know better and better.

Your ‘definitive’ statements are the least conclusive of all. But what’s vague, even careless, acquires substance by virtue of what it lacks.

He feels creative whenever he says “God”.

One should tell oneself how fruitful misunderstandings are. One shouldn’t despise them.

One of the wisest people was a collector of misunderstandings

The hardest thing: to keep discovering what you know anyway.

The man who wants to find something truly new must, above all, guard against any mthod of investigation. Later on, after finding something, he may feel an urge to define his methld of ivestigation after the fact. But that is a tactical question. . .The original process itself is characterized by absolute freedom and UNCERTAINTY, and the man moving in this way for the first time cannot have the least inkling as to the direction of his movement.

The responsibility lies in the entire man and not in this special undertaking

shallow religions, those we feel no fear behind

above all, year for people he’s found unbareable

rapidity of intellect-- all else we say about it is just attempt to hide it’s absence: live for those moments of rapidity, spring like wells in deserts of lethergy

success? Mistrust so great, he only wants to want it, not to have it

most men, slaves of an ancient misfortune unknown to them

Describe things in exclaimations

say all great thoughts again, without knowing they have been said

a man so good, he forgot his name

the prioceless saying of fools (so long as they’re not repeated(?))

you need an army of termites to undermine all your ties and habits from within

pss free and careless through the world without any convictions

care not about being ‘in the right’

NAMES NAMES key to history, intrepretation of names reveals law of all that has been done. Mythology depends on names. Religion, name depleated by broad dispursion. technology-- eliminates names. Names as roots and vessels

one who says ‘it’s all the same to me”

don’t tell me who you are. I want to worship you

interpretating a statements meaning-- all that remains of the tradition of consulting oracles. But since this takes place out of the scope of fear, not even that is left

true stories we tell are false. At least the false ones, a chance they might come true

the human race uses thought only as an evasive tactic (goethe_)

itching to mix sentences together till none means a thing

nothing pleases me more than presenting a totally fase picture of myself to people I have taken into my heart. Perhaps unfair, but daring, and so, correct


they file past, the young, proud and confident and less false-- but without hypocracy they’re nothing

Blind man gives his eyes to another, WHO SEES WITH THEM

He would like to be swimming in money so he could throw it after everyone he despises

gnawing on his uniqueness, he wasted away, died of starvation

look for someone to make you slow

some believe they past as mystics by saying “one” Others thru

fragmentation, trying to never be “one”

How fortifying rejection is. Critics, easily see themselves supermen

He ta;lked himself blind. (I CAN”T SEE!)

man asks the way “I DARE NOT TELL YOU!!!

“Where do I find the man who forgets words so O might converse with him (I forgot the word for it. . .) Chuang-tse

The sxatisfaction of one who plays with his own assertions

Want to be brief so you can be recalled at any moment. Yet want to be so deep you can never be recalled

resonant NAMES of old Gods

other (not the bombastic) names for myths and fairy tales

in anarchic tangle of hair, find freedom

escape things of this world through their NAMES

ordering of influences, demonstrated by ordering of books. No sooner have influences been arranged then they fall asleep

1) COME ON ! (blow the top of your head off) COME ON !! (you should, you shouldn’t really. . .



(RIBBE-GRILLET on Roussel)

a world where everyone ( a few) is concerned with un-readablity

3) BEING CREATIVE is the only problem

Creativeness is only activity worth while--WHAT CAN I DO HERE TO BE CREATIVE!

(loops suggest-- it’s ALWAYS ON THE VERGE



I dare not tell you!


out of control






(but that’s) criminal behavior



“something is wrong”

Just be a man of lesiure (how eat?) That’s taken care of

Time to milk the cows(evening dress) No. I don’t think so

go to work!


like sexual polymorph p.



what it’s about isn’t it, but the STOP of wehat it’s about. I morcelize, thru other rhythym, swoop, dart


whirl to new level

NOT cosmic consc. but MAKE CRACKS STOP

Death of god= death of subject. Being as event that passes (arisingness) is all. Make crack- stop and adjust. Correction.

Ghosts lead one, but NOT BY WORDS, by smiles, movement, tilt


Look for people who say something and there’s a hole in what they say. IE. S Z tries to fill each lurch, as opposed to one who rants, yet there is a HOLE and he knows it! Only smart people will be able to follow this--

Whatever is actually there

stop for it

Thrust of set into room

1) What are we supposed to do-- how make use of this human mechanism?

make what move-- to escape being fodder & FREE WORLD FROM ITS OWN PRISON OF ITS OWN NECESSITIES?

2) ie. understanding-- imperfect tool

does world use me for something different?

3) We rebel, though-- just produce, says world

or ; love horse being beaten

4) world’s interests, not our interests


5) People want to get out of self and life

(kim’s: all that stuff. Posters, lures

promise, get out of self into another, or different WAY

6) Loops, get out of world


(GO TO BERKELY, make films)

We’ve come from no-where


Nothingness(= full)

(all manifest hides)

from nothing

arise two particles’

that anihilate each other

(just occasionally, someting remains of this)

(creativity: no rules possible

choose UNLIKELY solution!!!!!





What have I brought back. . (from my day exploring the city). . ?

(Notice how notes removed from source (mack book, Boehm book) no longer work the same way)

Just avoid fall into meaning

all put just beginning, never closure or conclusion into resolution

Else its like going down the wrong path in a labyrinth

Play could be 'about' anything, it wouldn’t really matter

yet sensuous, not like language poetry.

The center of life is outside the work

staring into space


it could be 'anything'.

It's in the gaps? Author can write, focusing on his gaps


forgetting them.

"Don't ignore what I didn't say

Then say it


Response is always to what wasn't said.

hello, welcome to the party

(the non-party is elsewhere)


Tell stories (mind king, etc) war of stories


You are asked a question you can't answer

you answer

you delight in weaving the justification of your answer, inventing the truth

space between lines


even of staging-- hold for resolution.

The hand



Bent hats

Of the desert plateau

Loaded in death,

A whole life


Into the arid


Off-self of center.

words wander through writing

they exist outside

The adventures of a word

Enter the word 'obedience'

It looks for a friend

I carry the word obedience into the play

no, it's mine

Everybody as everybody else's guru

Be my teacher

Open a door, always open a door

You teach me,

no you teach me

to generate the play's text, full text-- use

The keep-going impulse (the 'drive'), to storify,

but not explain, rather

start revolving, flying, exploding, multiplying

the expand (alph)

and the cuts (container-beta)

Do you know what's really happening when I say that? Somebody pulls the back of my tongue, etc (dialogue, tension of 'naught' erupts into story)

The drive to keep missing the object, so as to keep it in play. Attained, it dies


What lurks behind what can be represented

write, stage, that

I don’t want anything to change

(Now that communism is dead)

I want everything to change

(when I am asked, believe God, what am I being asked? The not yet, the un-manifest, the invisible, the dense we can’t scan?)

Tangled bank (Darwin)

How to live in a world that is always, stumbling, failure?

Be open to…unconscious, god, imminence

It’s life’s goal to think all thoughts (tree gnosis)

Mirror on Lenin

Displacement, each scene is a displaced version of another

Experience no longer relevant, meaning no longer relevant, nihilism of the wed (all available immediately co-present) emptiness

Technology of the new human being

Careful, I’m not human (I want nothing to change/ everything to change)

I have only so much attention. My attention is not held by this configuration

I read to find phrases that almost says about

--Nothing being intelligible, celebrate elusive

Combines separate realms ( flip flop --surreal metaphor

PULSE of brain

Inside web of possible. Wisdom text procedure

WIDE grasp, WIDE posture (pulsate through

Find little openings and poke them wider


Me: Dynamic core (flux, pulsates

Others= vectors


M-Blanco symmetry

Us—wide grasp, posture (pull different cards out

Whole brain pulsates

Read= look at phrases in search of ‘click’ that speaks to ‘fit, on area, slight miss-match of the PULSATION (spark)


(One invades other) My life quest—make non-focus the focus, or

de-focus the focus

2 dynamic systems at once? May brain events at once

at all times, most neuronal groups in brain are predominantly affected by info from other parts of the brain (formal art) and occasional input of external events

HOW THW BRAIN WORKS (is how I work, Cézanne, like nature, me like brain

Most people want clarification. I want strangeness.


What I don’t want to lose is my own relationship to my own mind and body=

producing this work (like losing the beloved)

What I don’t want to lose-- (corporate, success, amalgam)\

Related to space.

--Universe of energy (total cosmic milk—producer of this moment of consciousness

-it re-arises at this point--

between me and my MIND.

(outsider art)

Occult city of Paris

(It’s art, etc, is a cover)

The ROOM. A lighted door. Twitch “the duke de---- (dim light upstage, figures in shadow, fashion photo. )

27 items combined in different ways (i.e. Sexual reproduction to produce ‘difference’


Item (genes) combined===== GRANULAR!

Each ‘thing’ carries small ‘genes’


Release consciousness in all things?


Consciousness IS in all things

Transfer self ‘fully’ into consciousness.

World makes man to add

To ‘consciousness’ of all—

Even ‘more’ consciousness.


Drag diversity back into unity

Consciousness is always apart from—


Hall of mirrors effect

Ultimate hall of mirrors

When that’s achieved—then what?

(This is what I do, but NOT how I do it!)

Seek: What process to apply to a subject:

The subject is—(Bad Boy Nietzsche, Communism)

The process is PARADOX, the flux of things

Normal analysis get to heart of subject*

Us: = find outreach(s) of subject, far reaches of web

(subject?) There is a net, that pre-exists the subject. Throw that subject against the net (the net is the real subject) Make it vibrate, by throwing at it (Nietzsche, communism etc)

attend to fringes of experience

what is it to be awake= to be living on several planes at once


Search for point where world of sense and world of psyche meet. That ‘center’ is everywhere.

Man has come into this world with no other errand than to rise out of the vanity of time. The desire to escape into timelessness

To dissolve the given

Extract directly the presence beneath and beyond the ‘given’, representation

The transcendence of all interests. In the absolutely ‘singular’ interest of something else

*Millions of things stream out of reality, but we are taught to

Ignore all that doesn’t immediately contribute to controlling the environment (art).

(How I do it—push bodies around, alter, make them do things from NON-motivated source. Music? Not denial of item #1, rather an indication of DISOLVE the given—“Oh, it’s other’—the given is just a PART, let the repressed WHOLE be there— comes from the far reaches!!! Far out on the WEB)

No atmosphere in space

What is the difference between mental work that Freud, Marx, etc

And what produces transistor, etc

Language constructs, combines different perspecives ever mofre convuluted, twist on itself to issue into-


Zaps, buffetted by ideas. Landscape re-configured

In airplane, no gravity. Light. Filigree. Bucky Fuller

Pancake people

I can’t bare to say what I desire

  1. do a thing. Retreat

I did not do it. It still vibrates

2) it’s the god that exceeds me

in airplace. Filigree—web—computor or satalite

art pours raw material, fuel, into world

make things more complex then they are, or suffocate—thin air

only fun is complexity

To satisky a desire—which is substitue object—is to be hooked by unexpected aspects of that substitute which society has placed in it. So we are caught in expanding net, of infected by, and opposite to, what one desires

If ART teaches NOT to respond (like anakyst) but “get in touch with your feelings?”

Woman on airplane next to me—movie—involved. Some deny feelings, others –let pass thru you!

OK. The alive idea. What I need from life is continually new ways of seeing things. Putting two things together—so I need a new two things

  1. Lacan—don’t rspond

  2. Lady—clapping at movie

Produce tingle of seeing life ‘as it is’

Ie. Not responding

Someone not respond: cry

Because they see that’s how it is, rather than I

“I wish it were different.

That’s further why. when people want ‘feelings’ from me, I’m revolted, because feelings say—wish it different

But no—accept as it is so long as you can TOTALLY see it as it is. Felling then is WHOLE feeling. Joy&sad

Very small, things in isolation from context


Art=2 loops, no time

Quantum theater

Ground: take things apart and assemble them

Hand-elable. Write: speaking is our prison

Explore( language can’t any longer.

Play: work on matterstories replaced by talisman, mantra

Get energu from tension.

Stories promote rules—tension not available for discovery

Man vs matter

Art wears out:

Old Staging embodies text

Now: embodinesness takes apart, EXPLORES, text

Old: text explores world

Now text is world. Explore text thru embody

OR: need new world to explore

Proble new world (…chaos? Blur) with talisman of text

Evoke that from which all things are made

Extract GOD from dark matter

I have been always “driven to understand”

Vs: make art.

The same or not?

Get out of context/or see other context (resist the present)

I am one who thinks world is bed (by definition?)

Howard Bloom, Jordan Peterson (Diversity generators needed

Extend chaos or suffocate

ISOLATE ITEM from context (phenomonology)

Tiny item: opens into a world: only MAN does this

Loops (2) create a door?

Behavior-play-ritual-myth-religion-formal, rational

Interpretation, knowledge shared

Sample bits—loops, build world-SKIM! REPEAT! (accident between)

Each thing “THING”

Holds innumerable possibilities (uses and signifigances)

Life is good is more possibilities are available

Finally each hing is each oher thing


HUNGER FOR !!!!!!!

I want wisdon

Act out this “Want” this hunger

NOT it’s satisfaction

You don’t want it satisfied, which can only be fake or death

Solution a—cash

Solution b- frustration and honor (dignified)(wider context, more abstract context)

I show people true to impulse

Or glory

Rather than effective behavior

If life isn’t working, to correct one

Looks to big picture, or to dtails taken for granted and hence invisible, this is mediated by unconscious (metaphone. Myth)

Scale is different


Makes order (by first risking chaos. Creates, finds, chaos

(order is already there. Chaos always lurks in ‘secret’ not the OBVIOUS threat

use local items to evoke the whole

table- electron? Part of solar system? Use oriented? Part of tree?

Write snippets that are the whole

And collide with ojects (local events)

Turning the whole into a now