This beginning to die. This lift of the hand to the face

This twist into the incomprehensible that lights us both--

call it a snapshot.

I doubt not, that in the repatore of gestures I've collected, one gesture superceeds allother gestures.

I will not show you the most important of my gesturesIt is not my isolation which worries me. Surrounded by people who cannot speak, who do not speak-- shall we say they do not spreak my language?Grabbed by grace

Everybody does that. The food that enters the mouth echos the mind

Gabbing til my ears hurt

You hear the sound of your own voice again

Music

Music to my ears too

Let's agree to turn off the internal phonograph

How wonderful such a word begins with the letter "P"

(Pause)

Some days later-- it'll be a photograph

After the music has faded, yes.

Your yes is my no-stone

It must weight you down

Very downEscape. Prove that you can escape. What I mean is prove that you are the greatest edscape artist

Escape from what

Prove that you are the greatest escape artist. Right now, right here-- escape

There's nothing to escape from here

(Tie)

I can't escape

I bet you can escape

I bet you can't escape

This is hardly something you or I want to echo

I invented an airplane with banannas for engines

Oh really? Well, I invented a cheeze sandwhich you didn't have to walk towards to pick upWho of all people could expect me to be the person I was or was not

This darkness in me is a starting point. If I revolve on its pivot, I am suddenly surprised by myself. A life goes on, things change, but other things do not change.

A certain glue keeps firm hold on one or two revolving orbits.

Now I will have to give up what I know best about my own life but I say, no, I will not give that up

Guess what you gave up, sir

I didn't know you talked

I talk to myself, which means I don't have to move my lips

Is anothing said

Ah. Then we are in the true condition of speaking

Did I find myself at the end of my rope?

I thought it was my rope

Let me allow for reading a book that, taking me outside of myself, re-emters the worldWhat's going to reveal itself in this moment?

I don't know

Something's going to break through

I don't knowI don't think you know me

Let me open this

(box)

The sun

You want to see the sun? I will show you the sun

I see it.

(Pause)

Having seen it?

It's enough. It's everythingI like vacations

I like meals in a resturant

I like sunlight

I like the ocean

I like pictures of beautiful women

I like soft armchairs

Could I come in?

You did

I mean, can I stay here now that I'm here

(Is that what 'can I come in always means?)

Yes

We're friends, right?

Yes

(curtrained nitch opened, one is there, looks up)

Nothing

You're sure?

Nothing. No ability to be lifted out of myself whatsoever

Nothing

NothingThis experiment may not work

What experiment

SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE ANY SENSE OUT OF THIS STORY (off blindfold)

I do not believe my eyes

About?

I just do not believe my eyes about anything

Then why did you ask me to unbandage them

So I could see if anything had changed

But if you do not believe your eyes, then seeing or not seeing a change in things is not believeable

This is logic speaking, but not the sou, which is on fire

(Pause)

Should I re-bandage your eyes?

I was waiting for you to say that

Can you believe me?

I don't believe what I see, and I don't believe what I don't see, but I believe in the furious circle those two kinds of don't believe dig into my brain as they chanse each other

(Pause)

I'll re-bandage your eyes

Yes. Do that

(Done)

Now that my eyes are re-bandaged, I can attack the wall I know is in front of us (

(Lifts cane)

Why are you trying to attack it

It's imprisoning me

How can you experience that if you can't even see it, and in addition, you haven't bumped into it, so you haven't experienced it as a barrier

I remember seeing it

What I can bring back from my day exploring the city-- ?

It vanishes.

Therefore, the city might have been endless. On the other hand, it might have been a disappointment.

That is one of the reasons I so miss having a radio in my room.

If there was a radio in my room I might, now, turning it on for myself,

hear-- intuition-wise-- what I missed, or lost, in my meticulous exploration

turned back toward me.

Nothing like memory you understand, but instead

like a broken self, a broken me,

and in those cracks

the wind of real things at last, through a radio--

in here-- unheard.

And so I re-imagine a world entire,

living the rest of my life forgetful,

asleep,

sensing whatever purpose I picked up when I slid backwards into the wrong door titled "obligation through this door' and I was in the lost and found department again

--but it could never decide whether it was the land of the lost or the truly--

FOUND at last!

(In a certain hotel,

a certain radio was absent.

Once upon a time each room contained a radio.

Now, no radio in no room.

In a certain hotel

plans were made

to broadcast from a tower on the roof of the hotel--

radio broadcasts.

But such plans never came to fruition.

Nevertheless, the name of this hotel

was the Radio Hotel.

How often has a name been less than appropriate?

In this case one could understand why the name was chosen,

even though it was no longer appropriate.

Having once been to a certain extent an appropriate name

there was now a pause

in thought.

Through that pause,

thoughts from another space

bled-- leaving the residue of a name.

Radio Hotel!

No blood staining yet the walls of the Radio Hotel.

Silence-- radio reigned!

And the Radio Hotel

closed inside itself

the lost proclivity it broadcast

towards street wards

those who passed or entered

or passed through as guests in the

Radio Hotel.)

"Hotel Radio-- hello, radio Hotel"

Can I help?

No. But help.

It's one of my favorite words. No. It's my favorite word.

I help whenever I get help

The more times you can use the word help in a sentence, the more it helps.

Help myself.

Help yourself.

Help yourself to the word help, which is how I help myself.

(Pause)

Help yourself to some fruit.

I don't think I should eat right now.

(Pause)

One of the most potent ideas I ever had, ever, was the idea that in the center of the fruit was a pit, and the pit was the radio in the center of the fruit. And the whole fruit helps-- the radio in the center of the fruit.

My ear; helps.

My ear was help also.

Does this help? My ear helps.

(Pause)

Have some fruit now

Eat it, or let it turn into the radio that it is.

In the Hotel Radio, the fruit placed in bowls which sit on small tables in each room-- no radios in rooms, but fruit in rooms, and in the center of the fruit, is a radio.

(Pause)

I imagine walking down the street and seeing the letters painted on the stone wall of the building I pass to spell the words "Hotel Radio". Then I imagine a round fruit-- just it's image, painted on a stone wall. And I imagine a ray of energy, traveling through the stone and emerging from the stone to fly over the whole city. This helps. This imagining this thing helps.

What does it help?

(Pause)

It helps me. If I try to say what it helps-- me-- that separates me from myself and that does not help. So I do not explain why it helps, even to myself. I just say and know, it helps. Which is much like being in, or traveling towards, the Hotel Radio. Just remembering it, even from inside one of its rooms, and I don't know if there are many such rooms or only a few-- but it helps.

It helps.

Hello, this is a part of the hotel radio, and it helps.

_______________

Self discovery in a Hotel? This does not seem possible

(bring in)

What's this?

Food

I don't want food

(Pause)

You don't have to look at it

Wait a minute. Is this to eat, or watch

You can only watch it if you use powerful concentration. Otherwise, eventually appitite wins out and it ends up in the stomach

(Pause)

Take it away, please

Whatever you say

--Take it away please

(Goes)

What I said was enough to make it happen. Wait a miute-- do I want a radio in my room? or will that make it difficult to know whether or not it's me doing the talking

(In radio)

Where shall I put it

I'd rather have my suitcases delivered

Soon

when

soon

When is soon

The radio could take your mind off your problems

Is that true?

Sometimes

Plug it in but don't turn it on

No. You plug it in

(Pause)

Just put it on the table

(done, gone)

Self discovery in a hotel. This does not seem possible.

This could perhaps be the play in which entering a room-- me--an individual such as myself with no special qualities visible to one who is placed outside me and is only able to observe me from that same outside of my body and my consciousness both

This could be the play in which everything is different

Yes

Everything. I pick up this egg from the plate

That would seem to be the end of something. And therefore the beginning of something else

Yes

But everything is different

YesIs this the world you were talking about?

YesWhat kind of a life is lived by somebody with no holes to patch closed

There are doors and windows in every room

Not my kind of a room

Doesn't the brain spin sufficiently?

Mine?

"Special Talents" (a title)

The universe uses me, I'm afraid. What I mean is-- therefore I have to hold on tight

Does it spin

It spins me

You spin internally

(Pause

Yes. Internally

But if I look close, I should be able to pick up on that

That must be a spcial talent

No-- you're the one with the special talent

I dodn't say so

(Pause)

You didn't have to say so.Hello

I am not myself

Well, in a certain sense I am not myself eitherBe happy

What makes you happyWaiting to be with somebody whom one is not with. Waiting to be with somebody whom one cannot be with

(In window) Smell the flowers, Maestro

Do not mock me

Well-- they're your flowers

For that reason, I can hardly avoid smelling them-- permiating the room as it were in regards to odor-- However your point is well taken. One's NOSE becomes acclimated.

I think we can agree. Life has conspired against me

We don't agree at all

Are you that blind?

(Pause)

From where arrives my bitterness, my despondancy

I have no idea

(Pause)

I blame the lottery of life for dealing me, genetically, a pre-disposition to such negative emotions.

I do not like-- think not, I like being in front of what I call 'people' and you call 'myself'. Now-- let us join minds and proceed through this combination of mind power into discovery and adventure

(Pause)

Ah, nothing comes up immediately. Perhaps we need help.

(enter)

I think there'd be better functioning if you'd lie down

Isn't that a vulnurable position?

I'd call it relaxation

Ah-- were I to lie down do you fantasize a second body physically rising out of my first body and that collaboration could be fruitful?

What collaboration

Myself with myself

You tell me

I did

I only hear one person talking

I didn't lie down

Try it

(Done)

Don't think I like this.

There isn't much that you DO like, am I right?

(Sits up)

Ah-- am I now talking to the second me that just rose up out of my recumbant physical self?

(Pause

Then we should shake hands--

(Offers, not taken up. Pause)

Perhaps you don't need me

(Exit)What adventures you must have had

Mind adventures only

Don't disillusion me

Oh? Isn't that enough to keep you interested for a few hours?

Nothing holds me that long

I call that adventurism

Which is why I turn to you for guidance

Entertainment?

Certainly not

Good

(Pause)

On that basis and on that basis alone, I am wiling to speak about my so-called adventures

(Pause)

Go on

On yes, I am dpoing that

You mean you can hardly stop doing that

Going on and on and on. You follow me this far?

I can hardly stop doing thatA terrible face that appeared as I opened my eyes

Did you open your eyes to make it appear

Did I what

Did you make it appear?

(Pause)

By opening my eyes, yes. I made it appear

What did it look like

I can hardly remember

But it frightened you

I woke up screaming

Ah-- then you were asleep when you saw it, but your eyes were already open

(Pause)

Yes

This is not clear

Right

(Pause)_

Not clear at all

Does my face remind you of anything?

(Pause)

While I'm looking at it I can't tell

Then feel free to look away

(Done, pause)

I can't see it

Is it frightening

Oh no-- only when I remember that other face am I frightened

(Goes to wall points to picture)

Imagine for a minute that this face was looking at you rather then at the object under observation. Would it frighten you

It might

(Pause)

OK> Perhaps we should leave you alone

Why not

(Others go)This is painful. This-- being left alone

(Pause)

Yet why am I left alone?

I know the answer. I drive them away from me because of the degree of my mental concentration

(One returns)

What is it, really. This sex thing

I want to eat you alive

All parts?

Yes.

The parts that smell bad?

Yes

Who's talking

You're right. I have two levels-- one level that wants to eat you alive, and the other level that is disgusted by such an idea and pulls away into more spiritual concerns

What part left the room

Don't think you know

(Pause. Left goes and gets doll, devours, others re-enter. He stops and puts it away). Would you like to visit another planet

Yes. I certainly would like to do that

(Pause)

Not yet. You're not ready

(out. Re-do doll. Stops by self, puts it in chair)

Are you alive?

(Pause)

On some level. I think you are alive (END OF A PLAY)

How can I come to the end of this experience, which is unsatisfactory, with no end in sight, and yet make that very fact an end,

and an end that is satisfactory as an end--

fulfilling in it's very experience of being not-fulfilling

(Pause)

Who can deal with this

(All enter. Put on a record, then add more.

Stagger, fall)This is less than frightening

This is not something I can prove

Rigor

Rigor?

The total circulation of my emotions leaves me exhausted

(Pause)

Probably not exhausted-- rather with a distaste for what heretofore appealed to me. Every kind of sweetness

This is not something I underatand

You don't have to understand me

No-- this was not my train of thought

It's my train of thought, God damit

I'm being manipulated by your emotions

(Pause)

You are very forceful

Well, I meant to be persuasive (Drawer. Orange)

I was keeping this for you

Why does this make me uneasy?

It's just an orange

Oh, I do see that

But if it makes you uneasy-- it makes you uneasy. Si I'll put it back in the drawer

(Done)

I think that has something to do with it

What

An orange in a drawer

It's not un un-pleasant fragrence

Ah, you mean if I were to join it in an adjacent part of the same piece of furniture

Oh. I don't think you could fit into that particular piece of furniture

Probably not

(Pause)

You're too large

(Pause)

Where did I put my gloves?

(Open same)

Ow!

(slam shut, hold face)

I'm sorryIt was a trick

What was a trick

(Pause)

Here-- let me manipulate this panel

(Revolves. Book)

Ah. The secret book

(Pause)

But when you said it was a trick-- that refered to something that already happened previously

Don't be predjudiced against me

Was I

Oh yes

That was before. I'm talking about now.

I must have a bad memory

If you have it, it's not bad, if it's bad you don't have it

I think the trick is right now

Right

The trick is, finding it

The real trick is hiding it

(Pause)

I guess I did pretty good

(Exit)This is not my way of understanding the world

--I haven't said a word

Ah yes. You haven't unpacked your suitcase, but your suitcase is stuffed full and my x-ray eyes are capable of penetrating that suitcase

My suitcase must be invisible

That's how it works.

(Pause)

I just made a misstatement

Of course

I said, --I haven't said a word. And then I did-- start speaking. So in retrospect

--See how confused you are?

(Pause)

Time wise?

That's not my way of looking at things

Time wise?

Don't believe everything you read

Well, for instance, the sun's down so it must be night

Ah, if you could locate a window, you'd have the basis for a possible argument

How come there's no window

That's not my way of understanding the world

(Pause)

How come there's no suitcase

I was using a verbal mechanism

Me too

No. You were, and are, being used by a verbal mechanism.

(Pause)

Ah, you think you can escape by not talking

You talked

Yes.

(1st exits)

Well, there may be no window, but there certainly is a door.

(Goes. Then 1 re-enters. Pause. Then 2 re-enters. Stops, looka around the room by turning in place)

This is how I understand the world. And I think my way of understanding the world takes prescidence

(pause, goes)

Not any longer

(Looking back in the room)

I forgot to tell you. There's a window in the next room

The sun is shining

(Goes)

As far as I'm concerned, that means it's daytime. Which is unimportant to me, because my life has been from the contraints of time passing.

(Pause)

That's what I tell myself-- though it's not a hundred per cent-- but I don't care whether or not anything is a hundred per cent, because nothing is.

(Pause)

What an adventure.

Theories release energies.

Let us: suppose, that consciousness is a way of lying about the world

Ah, what energy are we about to release.

Let's find out

You mean. lets let the world find out for us--

Yes, but is any of this possible if consciousness is a way of lying about the world?

We certainly don't want to abandon such a productive theory before it's had a chance to flower into a few rare and valuable exoticisms

We feel the need for exoticism?

Oh yes. At least I do

Because of a jaded pallet?

No. I'd rather say because of unceasing mental agility

OK> Consciousness is a way of lying about the world

Does that make the world a friend of consciousness?

I see-- it could be a method that insurfes privacy

Consciousness-

The world, of course, has to be postulated as desiring privacy

Doesn't everybody?

(Exit)

Well, I wonder what my consciousness is doing. It might be assumed that I know, but I don't really.

(Pause)

I don't know when it schedules other people to decide to leave the room, just as I don't know when it schedules me to take corrective action

(Pause. Re-enter)

You probably thought I was making an intellectial point, leaving when I did, but the fact of the matter is I had something to do

You didn't explain

No. I didn't

(Pause)

Are you lying?

No, I had to check something

What

Something

(Pause)
OK

It was a medical somethiong

I'd like to keep it privateSomebody asked a question I couldn't answer

When

Please, open the same door

(Thinks)

You mean close it and then open it?

No. Keep it open

It's open

Now-- open it

(Pause, woman comes in opening)

What's going on

Come in

(Pause)

Have a seat

(She does)

Nothing else is happening

This isn't a difference of opinion, this is-- what.

I don't know

Then it is a difference of opinion after all

(Pause)

That's why we have nothing to say to each other

(3rd)

So be it

(Exit)

(She comes, sits, kisses)

That was a very powerful kiss

(She goes back)

Do we have a difference of opinion?

Don't ask-- and it won't happen

(Pause)

Is it ok if I shut the door?

(Done)

Did I answer?

No. I just took it upon myself

(She stands, he goes to kiss her)

--Not yet

When

(Pause)

Open the door.

(He does. She starts to exits, twirls embarassed)

This is hard to do

What

(Hangs in door, leans back into room)

This is one version

(Pops out of room)

Now-- I imagine it's up to me alone whether I open it or close it

(Closes, thinks. Opens)

Anybody there?

(Pause)

Well-- no answer, is not really an answer. Somebody could be there-- just not talking.

(Exit)Are you one of those people who refuses to be at one with the world?

Is that an insult

You tell me

No. Not an insult, because the world isn't such that one should be at one with it

Ah. Is that an insult?

Are you the world?

I'm a little bit of it

Liar

Hum, that could be taken in two ways

At least two

Yes, but before 3-4-5 etc, two has to be dealt with

(Pause)

One has to proceed step by step

Oh no, I can jump right to seven hundred and sixty five

What made you jump to that number

I don't know

Here's a thought. You wanted to go backwards

I would say seven hundred and sixty five is a long leap forward. Except I see your point. 765 is 567 backwards

You must have had an unconscious motivation

To go backwards

Yes

(Pause)

I do have the feeling we're back where we started

Is that an insult

Should I be able to drag you forward into some desirable future

It could be undesirable

If it's the future, it's desirable

Even if one only wants to get there so one is able to go backwards?

YesThis object you see, is revolving at the center of my particular universe.

I keep my back to it as much as possible. Is this fear? No. This is deep respect for reality

There is no atmosphere in space.

That is-- moods of light, cloud, mist-- different atmospheric conditions that create different ambiences. This does not exist in space into which man is now moving.

So: man arises perhaps, co-incidentially, with a certain kind of atriculation of light and water-- which are the building blocks of atmosphere. Also dust, I suppose, which is earth-- even fire, which creates smoke. The four classical elements. Man. But consciouss perhaps, is therefore a twin of atmosphereic. . .mood. Is this possible?

Is life supposed to keep me entertained?
(Pause)

Hello life? Do you have an obligation to entertain me?

Should I play the part of life?

That's the idea

OK. I don't think I have an obligation to be entertaining

Who exactly put me here-- shall we say-- in your particular catagory

What's my catagory

Everything living. That includes me

You're in my catagory

Yes

(Pause)

You don't find it entertaining

I appologize

At least I get an appology. But I don't get entertainment

Should I go

Would that heighten the entertainment quotient?

Probably not

Then why go

(Pause)

I better go

(Goes)

Now I'm alone. And in fact, it's more entertaining to be alone than to be frustrated. Thank you, life

(Pause)

Is it more entertaining to be alone than to be frustrated. Well, yes-- in that my mind feels freer. I don't feel constraints on my imagination.I'm not in control

Is this a problem?

(Pause)

I was announcing an achievement

It's an internal contradiction

No. When I say I'm not in control, what I mean is something else has taken over. It's not that I myself have achieved not being in control-- it's that I welcome what something else has been able to do with this raw material. Me.

(Pause)

I too, wanted to be able to philosophize without letting thought have anything to do with it

Of course

I need to find a teacher

Why

I think the time is ripe

Oh please. Don't worry about it

Can you psyche out what I'm really talking about?

I don't know

That means no

No-- it just means my priorities are different

(Pause)

Life keeps changing direction on me

That's an internal contradiction

Well--- maybe

Change your priorities

(Pause. Other exit)

See?

I interpret that as a change in priorities. Also, I interpret that as me losing control, ergo--something external

(re-enter)

Don't mis-interpret my decision to go

I have no way of knowing

Well-- what I'm suggesting is-- feel just a little bit of the internal stasis I feel

(other goes again)

No. I'll resist the temptation to say to myself-- now, where was I?

I can be amazed when I see the real world, circling around me

I can be amazed at so many things

But I choose one or two

I choose this table

I choose to be amazed at this table

It is amazing that this table exists

And it does

Look, how it's four legs fall from a certain height, to rest on the ground

I like this, I do like this

And the like is expressive-- it is intense enough to be called amazementThe world is going in one direction. I am going in anotherI want to be what I am

I am not THIS

(pulls at flesh)

I have nothing to do with THIS

I am elsewhere-- something else

(Pause)

I want to be what I am

You sound very petulant

Do I?

Yes

Maybe I struck a deep responsive chord in somebody to whom I was speaking

That's very possible

(Pause)

Shall we permit ourselves to be in the library?

Oh, didn't I tell you? These books are no longer relevent

Ah, how delightful. Doesn't that make them even more appealing?

As relics?

No. As ways to defind our own idiosyncratic hunger

Ah, you return to bodily function after all. Remember when you said "I am not THIS" and plucked at your own flesh. Well, from whence arrises the possibility of hunger-- even if it is then-- spiritualized

You just gave me an idea

What

A new idea about hunger. As a catagory. Hunger is a ack. Is there anything that does not lack, since there is nothing that does not lack whatever is total, except the totality. So-- everything --lacks.

What does this table lack

Nothing

Then you're wrong

No. Hungry

I don't follow you

(Other)

He said he was hungry--

(Presents food)

Here.

This man who tries to be brief, but isn't brief enough. Me. Whenever I develope an idea, it changes. The impulse-- matures: which means everything else in the world, into which the impulse is planted by speech, corrupts it.

But this must happen.

This corruption.

The alternative is that nothing manifests; and to be here to discuss this obligation to manifest, and the purity of such self manifestation-- toward which we have an obligation thanks to an equally unavoidable rigor, to be lauched here in that very pure way that must necessarily fall corrupted by that very self same necessarily corrupted stuff --out of which the entire world is constituted.

(Pause)

Ah-ha. That means the task is, is it not, to realize oneself as the magnificent maneur producing mechanism one is. More and more-- which of course nourishes the production of even more and more-- pure impulse again and again which, through the rigor of this magnificent system, flowers so that transformation into maneur is once again, inevitable

(Pause)]

Ah, my poor children

I didn't know you had children

Everything that comes out--

(Taps head)

I think of that as my child

(Pause)

The world is beautiful, at times

If you're hungry for the world, the world is beautiful. If you're hungry for something else-- no.

I think I'm hungry for the world

Of course

(food brought)

Be my quest

Oh, I just ate a little while ago

Don't worry. A little time will pass-- you'll want more.

(Pause)

Maybe I'll just have a taste--

Wait a minute

What

Earn it

How

Entertain me. Just for a moment. Just a moment's worth of entertainment

I don't know how

OK>

That was it. That was entertaining. Now-- dig in if you like

(Other tastes, stops)

You don't like it

Somehow, you spoiled my appetite

Ah, that's no excuse-- remember hunger is something you should consider an OBLIGATION

Really?

Really. I mean, you have a choice-- perhaps you don't like this particular selection, so we'll see if we can come up with something different

(Food taken)

Please, don't make the effort on my behalf

You don't understand. I feel obligated. And when I feel obligated-- it's something I dare not evade. But in the meantime, we can get on with other things.

(Pause)

OK?Do you think it was unforseen-- this morsel of the future--

What morsel

This moment. This word in this moment

What word

(Pause)

Whatever comes next. Which isn't always a word, of course. Or, maybe it iws.

Time will tell.

The futiure will tell, yes.

No, maybe the past will tell.

Then the way you put it was right. Time will tell.My hand seems to rise-- effortlessly. What I am lost inside of-- I do not know. Call it-- something extra. I am lost inside-- something extra

This is one of the hardest things to understand you have ever proposed

Yes. It keeps alluding me

If I raise my hand, is it effortless?

(Pause)

I can't really tell-- I did will it, but the moment of wiling it and the fact of it rising seem to have no connection

It's extra

(Pause)

Maybe that catagory should expand

Extra

Maybe everything could be in that catagory

Very well.

(Looks about)

Assume that wall--

Extra

Now-- are you just saying that? Or are you really trying to think that

I admit. It's effortless

So it's extra?

I can't answer

Ah, that IS extra. That not being able to answer-- don't be afraid. Just, feel it--

It's effortless

Not being able to answer

Effortless

Lifting the hand

Effortless

The wall

Effortless

Lost?

Yes

Extra?

Yes

(Laughs)

Yes.I don't think my left hand is very efficient

(Pause)

Once I tried to write a letter with my left hand

Was it hard to read?

(Pause)

I never found out

You mean you never showed it to anybody else

Yes

What a shame

(pause)

Why don't you try writing something for me now

I don't know what to write

I suppose I could dictate something

Oh no, that wouldn't make any sense

Why not

It should be my own thoughts

I can see why

Can you?

You have something you want to express

Go on

Only your left hand can do that

Yes

Precisely because it's less efficient

I'm glad you remembered that word

No. I had to look it up

You mean inside

Yes

(Pause)

You had a memory of it

Yes

(Pause)

Now I'll try

(Writes with left hand. "You had a memory of it")

(Pause, looks)

It looks either illegible or greek

That's a very superficial response

Well, what you wrote is superficial

What did I write

"You had a memory of it". You just repeated your own words

Not on purpose

(Pause)

They were ringing in my head

An echo

Try it again

(Pause, writes "Tis is something but--")

This is strange. I was going to write "this is something more or less expected", but the laboriousness of the effort made it swerve into thinking that wasn't words, but I pulled back from that, so at a certain point I just wrote "But"-- followed by a dash, so the sentence reads "This is something but--".

(Pause, makes marks)

So. This is just-- marks

I didn't try to make any recognizable words. Is this the real me?

Oh yes. The real you can't be fathomed

(Pause)

That must be the awkwardness.

Yes.

Yesˆtrick myself into productivity. The flood gates open, just for a second

If it's just for a second are thry really open?

What comes out

You tell me-- what comes out

The moment is so brief I'm not allowed to occasion of recognition

You mean it's as if things didn't exist

What things

(Pause)

Well, your ideas, your dreams, your fantasies--

I don't think you have an accurate catagorization

What do I have

You tell me

N0-- you tell ME

You have everything wrong

How high;ly productive of me

In a was it's unavoidable

But invisible

Yes. Most things that are unavoidable are invisible

How convenient-- that's number one, and how-- well, I was about to say dishonest but that can't be number two

There's nothing dishonest about it

I'm not sure

You tell me

What

(Pause)

How do you get to be 'sure' about some things and not so sure about other things

I wait to see how it comes out

You wait for the flood gates toopen

Yes

Just for a second

Yes

Ah, it just happened

I missed it

That has to mean, it really happened

You tell me

No, you tell me

(Pause)

OK. It really happened

(Exit)This ocean in which I am found-- does not mean I am under water

(Pause)

I'm under orders

That could be the same thing

(Pause, looks)

It's my special way of saying-- I don't see you

How selfish

Oh no, I do care, I just don't see you, and therefore I think about you all the time

(Pause)

I'm afraid I can't breathe under water

You don't have to

Right. I'll be dead soon enough, no matter what

Are you now?

See? I can't tell

Is that why you care so much?

Yes. Exactly

Prove it. Or at least-- demonstrate it

I'll do that at the next available opportuinity. I promise

(Exit) (Notice how form "this jumping into, echo's page one)

This jumping into new ideas-- turns out to be predictable

What adventure superceeded it

Adventure?

(Pause)

Is this the very end of the adventurous epoch

We'll have to do some further exploration

I hope not

Ah-- there's you adventure

I hope not?

Yes

(Pause)

I hope

Yes

I wonder if another word could be provoked. A different word

Different than "yes"

Yes

I doubt itIf I were the right species, I could perhaps jump over myself

Ah-- you are in line for a promotion

Promotion? I don't think so

What's your line of work

Officially?

Yes

I don't want to share that with you

Why not

Fear it might interfere with self devolpment

This is especialy designed to provoke me

See? My species has been identified

Zebra

Hyena?

Not at all

Kangeroo

Just because a kangeroo leaps himself across the landscape-- don't think I'm capable of doing anything like that

Ah, but in your dreams?

In my dreams, I am all things to all people

Even me

Even you

Then I've lost the animal quize

Don't worry. There'll be othersYes, there is a surprise lesson here.

Don't promise me a surprise because then I won't be able to recognize it

That's the surprise

(Pause)

Let me just close my eyes and imagine I'm crossing a green field. In the sunlight? No, it's overcast-- You see what's happening. I'm trying to surprise myself and I can't

That's why I want to try to help

You were trying to be on my side by turning against me

Right

That was supposed to surprise me

Now I admit that's possible.

(Pause)

What are the alternatives

Giving up, I suppose

Oh, this must be a retroactive decision

Yes. I gave up

I give up now

Surprise

(Pause)

It's the same thing

If it's the same thing, it isn't a surprise

Surprise

(Pause)

That makes it a surprise. (Writes, stops)

Wise men have known all along, that all I had to do was keep the pen in motion over the paper

You mean-- they've known that all THEY had to do--

Who

(Pause)

Wise men

That's what I said

All right

(Pause)

And you keep the pen moving over the paper

I've stopped

Why

Not for the reason you think

(Pause)

In fact-- my wrist is giving me pain

Well, you tell me that, so now it IS the reason I think.

Right. But you can

't do anything more than IMAGINE the pain

Right

If you read what I wrote, would you be capable of imagining that also

Possibly. Unless what you wrote is really something that is really, deeply beyond me

I don't think I could pull that off

I don't either

Does anything hurt

Yes

What

My wrist

Really

See how I'm smiling? It's just an idea that came to me. My wrist doesn't really hurt

You respond to your environment

Yes I do

(Pause)

But you respond to your environment in a very particular way that might be yours alone

Well, my 'environment', seen as a totality, might be mine alone also

We don't share it?

Not a hundred percent

Of course not

(Pause)

That means I'm free to go

(Does)

(Pause)

Ah. Now we share it one hundred percentI'm here-- which is what I think I just said, but are we talking about once upon a time?

(Pause)

What am I doing here and why do I have to project myself into this series of declarations of intentt-- is that what they are?

(Pause)

No. I better just . . .oscilate, where I am.

(Enter)

So you're here after all

What?

I've been asking everybody--

How would anybody else know

What

Didn't you say you were asking people--

That's no longer necessary

But it happened

I turn around and there you are

What

No-- you dopn't 'turn around". I mean-- if you turn around, then I vanish

(Done)

I don't think so

Well, if I didn't answer, you wouldn't know

(Turns and faces)

Let's face it-- there are other explinations

Step into my. . .

(Searches for the phrase)

--sphere of influence, for a moment

It can be half and half

(Pause, angry)

That's not good enough

(exit)

Jesus christ-- am I here alone now? Well I can hardly claim to have erased every mental residue, so when I'm talking to myself, it isn't really.

This-- universe of mine is still

(whirls)

relatively well populated

(whirls and falls)

(in)

Did you fall

Yes-- how the hell did you know that

Well, I heard a thud

(rising)

That's one explination

Do you have another?

Maybe we're well attuned

Of course we're well attuned

(Pause)

Well, then I don't need you here

Ok> I get it

(exit)

(Calls)

I'll need you here sometimes. Later. But not all the time

(Sits, picks up newspaper-- reads-- toss away)

This isn't what I wanted

(Presses temples: other looks in)

Go away.

(Goes. Calm now (Covers hand with cloth)

Now my hand is well covered

(Pause)

Come in now

(Pause)

Well, if nobody is here to experience this with me, I will experience it myself

(Open)

What are you doing?

(Twist)

Can't you see?

(Enter)

I see that cloth covering your hand

I wonder what I'm trying to hide

You're speaking for me when you say that?

Ah, decisions, decisions

(Pause, other takes it off)

See? That was so easy

Do you like it better when it's covered?

It's different, that's all

(Pause)

Cover it

Is that a choice?

It's an option, so we might as well entertain every option we can imagine

Leaving it uncovered is another option

Yes, but somehow it's less-- option like.

(Covers it, other exits)

This is where I began. From now on I have to remember, whatever happens, to say to myself-- this is where I began

(Pause. Off--into drawer. Exit)

"This is where I began"Tomorrow, more of this will happen

Yes, but I won't see it happening

You're not going anywhere special

I might take a trip

The adventure's over

Why

You missed it

(Pause)

That's why I might try again

If you try again it won't be an adventure

What

(Pause)

Remember I said something about tomorrow?

Yes, but I can't remember what you said

Ah, that's the adventure

Trying to remember?

No, that's not very adventurous

OK> I'll just wait and see what tomorrow brings

I knew you would

Do you know me better than myself

No, but I know you better than myself

Am I in a position to say the same thing

Not yet

Tomorrow?

Maybe. . .Look at this

What is it

It's a cabinet I opened

Isn't the implication there's something inside the cabinet to look at

That's a very particular implication

Peculiar

Yes

What is this

I can't tell unless I look at it

Well,m look at it

I can't look at it

Why not

If I could tell you why not, I could look at it.

I bet you could remember what it looked like if I put it back in the cabinet

(Done)

I can't remember

Ah, it must have had a powerful effect on you

Let's say-- semi powerful

OK. That's a reasonable compromise

(Shake)I hope it is never necessary to use this library

Why?

Now-- suppose, just suppose, I picked one book off a shelf of this library and said, this book and this book only, tells the truth about things

I wouldn't believe you

Why

Now --suppose I set fire to this library and burned it to the ground. What would happen to the contents of the books. Would the contents of the books in the library be burned?

No. I have to assume there are other copies in other libraries of each of the books included

Yes, but would the contents of the books be burned also?

I can't answer

Why not

It would be an arbitrary choice, since I could defend either position

Suppose there was a race of people who punished anyone who read a book after he or she had reached the age of-- say-- 30. But up til then, reading books was encouraged. But the punishment for reading a book after the age of 30 was death. What do you imagine would be the results

Some people would read in secret, a few would be caught and punished, and most wouldn't read after 30

Yes, but what do you think would be the results.

(Pause)

It seems a very poetic concept. Because the mental reading tools-- there are internal mental reading tools, that would have to be applied elsewhere. Would they be applied elsewhere? Well-- maybe. (red door. (Plain door)

It must capture your attention

Is what's more interesting what's on this side or on the other side

Maybe there's one way to find out

Always--

Sometimes, depending on how many doors

There's one that's obvious

(Pause)

By all means, let's follow up on the obvious

I'll try coming in from the otjher side

(Out)

It's locked.

(Return)

It was locked

Thank goodness

You mean thank goodness this one isn't

(Out, return)

You seem to be building up confidence

Not at all

Try it from this side

(Tries red door)

It's locked

Does it matter?

Not really

What's inside

I have total access

This is an example of over confidence

(Pause)

If I wasn't over confident, I wouldn't be confident.Is it a face that is in or on the wall, or is it me-- doing my normal series of connections.

Suppse it was really in the wall

Do you mean-- would I fall down and worship it?

Yes

You mean, you would--

No, I mean your question was the one I wanted to be asked-- would YOU fall down and worship it

Ah no, your answer was yes--

To a different question

The minute you say yes, you take the position of one who worships things

what things

It's always the same thing

You?

Me? Why not??

Maybe it's ypu face in the wall, but then again, it's so elusive, it could be me

Yes! Are you worshiping me?

I don't know, but I'm certainly worshiping something

(Pause)

Whatever I'm worshiping turns into thereby, what I'm worshiping

A wall

Yes

Or at least, an image that seems to--

No. Just the wall

(Pause)

Even if it has no image

(Pause)

If I worship it-- it has an image-- erased or not erased

Let me help.

(Erases)

I probably had very little effect on your powers of imagination

Let me give you aa kiss

You mean-- sexual

(Pause)

No, I don't think I mean that

A kiss of peace

What's that

I think I heard about it

Yes

(Pause)

You mean, I'm being worshiped

Of course

(Kiss on cheek)

Am I destined to betray you

Tryt

I don't know how

Then something's lacking. Try

I will tryWhat will you do

(Pause)

I'll go

(Pause)

Then you will worship me with more resonance or less resonance

(Goes)I've decided to be as creative as he universe

How can that be a decision

You mean, how can that be an act of will, since I don't have any

Yes

What you mean is-- yes

Yes, what I mean is "yes"

Ah. If I had the ability to perform an act of will, that act of will would be a no, because only a 'no' is an act of will

(Pause)

I'll have to think about that

You think that's serving the universes purposes?

Yes

Then it must be true, but personally, I don't think this 'thinking' business is producing very much in the way of the beautiful, so pardon me if I opt out

Is that a 'no'?

Yes

Ah, you fell down on the job

Of course, that's how I get material for my thinking mechanism

Whichyou'd rather not operate

Now you can see what fuels my anger

I knew you were angry

Yes, I can't even remember my beginnings. And I don't mean ultimate beginnings, I mean-- where did I just begin

Here we are

Yes. Here we are

Thatnk God for the universe

Even if I say 'no' to that-- yes.

Yes.You find yourself saying things

(Pause)

This is amazing, I find myself saying things

There has to be an alternative

Are you talking to me?

To you and to myself

Who's talking

Both of us

This is amazing

What's amazing about something that seems to be so automatic

I didn't hear that

You only hear it when it comes out of your own mouth? Maybe

If I ever felt like interrupting you, I'd do it immediately

Later, I'd think about it

You'd realize you'd been interrupted

(Pause)

Why do I feel like my personal space hasn't been invaded, but rather I'm some kind of fucking explorer

That word seems out of context

Which

The second from the end

My counting's fucked up

I was wrong

What

It no longer seems inappropriate

I can't count on any consistency from you, can I

Let me get something

What

This

(Out camera)

Is that to take my picture

Yes-- but only when certain words are being uttered

Suppose I stop talking--

That I'll have a hard time taking a picture

(Snap)

You must have been paying attention to your own words instead of mine. No-- you already weren't paying attention to what you said

And you didn't stop talking like you promised

It wasn't a promise, it was a threat

Fuck off

Isn't that word out of context?

You don't seem to remember anything about context or you wouldn't have taken a picture

If this camera could wind back, I could correct that

Doesn't it wind back when you've finished the roll of film?

I haven't

Then you'll have to take a few more pictures-- whether or not I choose to say anything else

I suppose I will

Try it now

(Winds back)

It seems to have worked

I hope you're not operating under the misapprension that by winding back you somehow erased the pictire

I know a little more about the machanism of photography than that

Good

Not necessarily good. If I know less I might go ahead and shoot over the old picture, which might result in an interesting superimposition. But I'm a little too sophisticated to make that mistake

I'm afraid if you want to expose any more frames on that roll of film you'll have to reshoot the frame you wound back to

I'll hold my hand over the lens; that'll avoid a superimposition

(Pause)

I wonder how words could be subjected to the same technique

I consider that an insult

Why?

(Other puts camera back)

Why?

(Other exits)

How easily he extricates himself from a no exit situation

(Tries other door)

Just as I thought. Still lockedThis was my first experience of some very bright light that didn't, in fact, help me to see better, but not because it was blinding me

What

(Spins)

Are you talking about something here and now or something in the distant past

(Pause)

I was following the course of a mental projectile

Of course I was

Tou were what

I too have had my moments of mental projectile

(Pause)

This isn't a shared moment

What you see-- I see

Guess what

I don't have to. My view of you and your experiences is secret-- locked up here

(Taps head)

If I make a powerful effort, I don't see you though I still see everything

It's me too

What

Include me in

I did

I thought you erased me

You gave me the idea. so it must have been you doing the erasing

Look at this picture of a flower

(Book opened, closed, put away: Pause)

Do you have to look at it again

I wonder if it's still there

(Out, looks, closes)

Yes. It was still there

Then put it away again

Decisions, decisions. OK I will

(Done. Pause)

Close your eyes

(Done)

Open them

(Done)

Is anything different?

This is a superficial perspective

There are two sides to every question and there are two sides to every perspective and I'm finding out they balance each other perfectly

You mean compleely

(Pause)

I'd like to get closer to you

--Back off

How

I'll demonstrate

(Goes)Into what special loophole, do I project all my verbal energy

I can't pick up on it

Oh yes, you can change the subject

Does everything "click in'

If you change the subject, definately

(Pause)

That leaves a wide open field

Careful, I'm probably going to overpower you no matter what direction you head into

Maybe I can find a loophole

I'll be in and out ahead of you

After that it'll be my space

Breathe easy

I will

I mean now

Then shut up

(Pause)

Ah, nothing's moving

You need my imput

Your verbal pyrotechniques seem to be lighting up my personal horizon, damn it

Give thanks--

I do, but that doesn't eliminate mixed emotions

Ambivilances

Yes

Go ahraed. Hit me

(Pause)

I don't like following orders

His me.

(Pause. Exits)

Come back so I can hit you

(Pause)

Well. Thank god this hand didn't have to offend anybody

(Pause, looks, then covers mouth with hands. Other in)

What are you doing?

(Pause)

Hit me

(Pause)

Too bad. I see your hands are otherwise occupied.

(Other tries to exit, but no hands-- first helps)

I better help

(Opens , other exits)

That was a close call.Outside the realm of belief, here I go, taking a step into the unknown-- I should say the unknowable, but it isn't. I know it. I am in it

What are you in

That

What

I don't know

You mean you know but you can't say

Thank you

(Pause)

What was the first thing you noticed when you came to this city

I noticed how it was familar but confusing

Thank you

Why

That confirms my own understanding

Confused?

Yes

Then you don't mean understanding

(Pause)

I mean what I can't put my finger on but my head keeps turning in that direction

Thank you

Please

This is amazing

What

We're not frightened

No, I'm not frightened

Even though we're confused

I like it

If I stepped out the front door at this moment, how would I know in which direction to circulate

It would depend on your inner proclivities

I'd like to find a nice resturant

Hungry?

No, I'm talking about the ambience

Ah, what kind of people do you want to be surrounded by--

No-- I only want the resturant to have one or two other customers. You see I don't want to be alone, but I don't want OUTSIDE brain activity to be oppressing my own brain activity

(Pause)

You just described an unresolveable paradox

What

You can't think unless somebody else helps

I didn't say I wanted to do any THINKING

Oh? Try putting a stop to it

Yes

You can do that?

Maybe

I don't think you can do that

(Pause)

If I could find such a resturant, I could find out

What would you order

I said I wasn't hungry

I think they'd throw you out if you didn't order something

Physically-- throw me out?

Yes

I'll order coffee

I'll order hors d'oeuvres

Like?

Like cheeze

That sounds like after dinner, rather than hors d'oeuvers

Then I won't

Why

Because I won't be having dinner--

Where do those ideas come from?

(Pause)

You're right. I could develope my ideas this way, all by myself

You see?

Go away--

Aren't we going out

Go away

To a resturant?

Why

(Pause)

I don't know my way around this city. I'd get lost

Where are you now

Here

Where

In this room

Where is that. I mean in relation to the plan of this city as a totality

I don't know

Then you're lost right now

In a sense

(Other gestures "See?")

But I'm getting my bearings from the objects around me

That's always possible, inside or outside

There's a difference

What

Outside in the streets-- well, it's impossible to stay in one place for a long time, so it's harder to get your bearings, which takes a period of acclimatization.

(Pause)

In the street, there is always a tendency, internal and external both, to move on. Here in this room, I can just stay here. Until it gets familiar to me. My points of reference get to be familiar.

Then you don't need me

Fore some things I need you. For other things I don't

What do you need me for

I don't need you for getting acclimated

(Pause)

I'll go

Do you expect me to say "No, don't go?"

Sort of

(Pause)

I won't hit those numbers

I'll still go

(Pause. Goes)

Ah, thank God I have my memories

(Pause)

So what if they keep drifting like smokeI am searching for the person who can help me

Please help

Did I hear myself echoed

It must have been the hearing mechanism or the seeing mechanism, or the thinking and imagination mechanism

(Pause)

This room-- cleansed, could pour forth innumerable treasures, and I would like that

Suppose--

What

Just suppose-- the cleansing was not necessary. Would the treasures still be acceptable

(Pause)

I never said, whatever the terms, they were necessarily acceptabl,e

What I deny you is my mental agility

Didnít I possess it already?

Approach the table

The what

Approach the table and lay your hands on the surface of the table, palm down.

(Pause)

Now, lift them and examine the palms. Are they clean

They appear clean

Is the table top soiled

It appears clean

Which of those two surfaces is more likely to be unclean, even if appareances to the human eye are not to be 100% depended upon

(Blindfolded)

The human eye is alwaysto be depended upon as an erasable something that leaves a potential hole in things

You mean if theyíre closed

What

Close your eyes

You mean you can still see

In a sense

What sense

I donít need help any more

Why not

(Pause)

It seems that in the natural course of things--

Yes. By definition, the course of things is natural

(Pause)

In the natural course of things, I find myself led, unaturatually, out of every dilema

(Pause)

Iíd say-- youíve stumbled upon a treasure

I canít see it

Then Iím wrong

No, no, no-- Iím not saying that-- because I canít see it, it doesnít exist. Quite ther opposite

(Pause)

Is this where a story begins or ends

No, no, no-- this is always being in the middle of a story at the point where it takes multiple directions and is therefore unchartable-- but by no means, therefore, less than a story.

Tell it

I can only tell it if I have multiple voices

How many do you have

one

Then you canít tell it

Right

Then thereís no story

Wrong. Because I canít tell it doesnít mean thereís no story

(Blindfold off, behind which his eyes are closed)

Ah, you had you eyes closed after all

(other covers, releases hands-- theyíre open)

Does this mean Iím back to reality

You tell me

I could take that two ways

At least two

Sounds like a story

It is

Tell me

No.

(Pause)

Thatís another storyI better protect myself, because the light, when teribly intense, hurts

It didnít hurt

You?

Anybody

When

It got as bright as possible

I didnít see that

You were looking at it

What

See?

When you were looking straight at that tremendous intensity, you-- in comparison, were so infinitesimaly tiny-- thatís what saved you

You mean it saved my eyes

Yes

Is that the tiniest part of my body--

There is a point, in the center of your eye, or should I say, in the center of your eyesight, which is the tinest part of your body

Then what I see and what I donít see get similar

Yes-- how did you figure that out

What did I figure out?

(Pause)

Well, whatever it was it just welled forth

(Pause)

Can that be called figuring it out?

(Other exits)

Come back

(Pause)

I have no trouble in here with my vision. Except-- maybe thereís more here than meets the eye.