E

St Thomas is in front of me. I’m asking myseld-- what is St Thomas imagining

ST

St Thomas is imagining-- How much more desirable, living in a different world--where spiritual issues take prescidence.

E:

Not this world, right

ST:

How much more desirable-- living in a city

where men and women act upon certain spiritual ambition

lusting for the confrontation with opaque, impenetrable objects.

(look at him)

Believe it?

(Pause)

Change the world, please, make this world a location where

the opaque being of St Thomas-- me!

--encounters innumerable precious objects--opaque--

hinted at better than revealed--

by a life

impenetrable to St Thomas-- me.

E:

I’m surprised St Thomas isn’t holding his head between his hands--

S.T: (slowly does so)

Yes , one more precious, opaque object under consideration

E:

That must be St Thomas. He must be trying to make the pressure on the outside of his head-- equal to the pressure on the inside of his head--

S.T:

He could be trying to do that very thing

E:

I bet it makes his whole body tremble

S.T:

He thinks his whole body is trembling

E:

She thinks her whole body is trembling--

S.T:

Shge has secret things in her life which is why her whole body is trembling--

E:

That’s the truth-- she has secret things in her life

S.T:

She has unknowable experiences in her life

E:

She knows the rules of this life on this planet

S.T:
What rules on what planet, please

E:

Here are the rules on this planet.-- have experiences, yes-- but without knowing the rules giving rise to experiences inside a person

S.T::

At Thomas calls that-- a momentary whim-- having experiences, a momentary whim, nothing more--

(There is a noise)

A momentary whim-- no rules, covering momentary whims.

(Noise louder)

Just-- momentary whims-- no rules!. No rules!

(Noise very loud. Reactions. It cuts)

H:

Hello there. Somebody getting off the bus-- at the wrong moment I’m afraid

S.T:

St Thomas got off the bus, yes-- passing through bad neighborhoods.

and here’s the question-- inside bad neighborhoods--

confronting disaster head on--

Or exhibiting genteel behavior in the face of disaster inside bad neighborhoods

H:

He’s very shy. St Thomas is very shy--

E:

Some people thinking-- how genteel-- look at our genteel friend, St Thomas. But other people thinking thinking-- St Thomas is shy-- smart people thinking-- look how shy-- veering away at the last moment possible from personal disaster

H:

Doesn’t St Thomas believe his own name-- an invocation of personal disaster, of course--

S.T:

Whenever he hears his own name--

it rings in the head like a church bell ringing

H:

That’s why nobody in this room takes St Thomas very seriously

S.T:

Yet St Thomas is a serious person

H:

we know that for a fact?

S.T:

St Thomas should be taken very seriously

E:

St Thomas is a very serious person

H:

St Thomas is a serious person in a bad neighborhood

S.T:(As E gets a golfclub)

Bad neighborhood, yes-- but bad neighborhoods, are sometimes--

(Crying out as L wacks club on wall)

Ow! Ow!

E:

Why does this hurts me, more than it hurts St. Thomas

S.T: (another smash)

Oww!

(activity. Falls, sexual etc)

S.T: (recovers)

I experienced something-- but is there a person who is not me who know what I’m experiencing

E:

Is it pain?

S.T:

It is something worse than pain

E:

What could be worse than pain

S.T:

There was a gold club-- thatr didn’t really make contact with my head-- That was the deceptive part

H:

But St Thomas cried out in pain

S.T:

Yes he did, but before the pain and after the pain, it was much worse than the pain itself

E:

What made it worse than the pain

S.T:
He dares not tell what made it worse

E:
He dares not tell, but to me, St Thomas will tell such things

S.T: (pause, quiet)

OK. I will tell. Stage fright.

(Pause)

Stage fright.

(pause)

ALL: (working up to it)

Stage fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!

* * *

S.T:

You understand? I want you to say things that will be very disturbing. Upsetting not to others, such as yourself, but to myself in particular.

I want things said, that will cut me like a knife. In that hope, I want your collaboration

E:

Why should I collaborate with you of all people?

S.T:

I need to experience that kind of pressure

E:
Why

S.T:
Don’t ask why! Just decide whether or not you’ll collaborate. For a suitable sum of course.

E: (Pause)

Let me think about this

(exit)

H: (in cake, dressed in leather)

I don’t suppose you recognize me, do you St Thomas

S.T:

No I don’t recognize you

H:

I’ve been watching you, from behind closed doors, for a long long time

S.T:

How quaint. How very quaint

H:

Who am I, please?

S.T:

Are the candles for me?

H:

The cake is for you. The candles-- maybe.

E: (returned)

Define yourself, so we know to relate to you

S.T:

I refuse

(Pause)

Understand, that I am not a serious person. Nothing I do or say should be taken seriously. I mean that

H:

If nothing you say is serious, then what you just said when you said-- nothing I say should be taken seriously-- that that isn’t true either.

S T:

It is and it isn’t. It flickers. Like your candles

E:

They’re for you

S.T:

Do I like cake, with rich icing and sugared letters? I do. Yet when that “That’s something I like” rises inside me-- then immediately, it fades. Then it rises. Then it fades.

In other words, things are alive in me-- but just briefly-- there, and then not there. Is this then-- anything to be taken seriously?

No. Because nothing that arises in me-- stays. So nothing inside me is serious.

Do I suddenly lust for a certain violence?

Yes. Really and truly-- yes.

Then it immediately fades before it can happen.

I live on the pertipheral edge of things. That gives me a certain-- lightness. Don’t you think? Even as I say that, I’d like to believe there is a certain sparkle in my eye--

H:

Bravo-- just a glance in a certain direction-- a brilliant manevuer

(as he looks at her, E hits from behind with a club)

S T:

Ow! Do you like violently attacking people?

E:

Yes I do-- now it’s your turn

S.T:

Don’t be folled.

I am an everyday person.

There is nothing unusual about me

I have no fire inside me

Yet, I do recommend you pay careful attention to me.

Why?

Because I am dangerous in my passivity

H: (pause)

Then your passivity must be something very intense

(Pause)

S.T:
Perhaps

E:

Then we should be frightened of you

(E exits)

S.T:

Possibly.

If I am misunderstood

(Pause)

H:
Should we allow ourselves to relax?

S.T:
Don’t open the blinds

E:
Why

S.T:
Just don’t

(open. M is there. close)

I told you

E:

Who is that

S.T:
Someone who keeps telling me she can’t live without me

E:
Really?

S.T:
Yes

E: (Pause)

Then whatever happens, you’ll stay in here with us?

S.T: (hesitates)

Well-- Yes--

E:
I don’t understand that hesitation

S.T:
There is no hesitation

E:
I want you to notice, a bed’s ready

S.T:

Yes, I’m ready for bed-- as soon as I undress

E:
You can use even without getting completely undressed

S.T:

Well-- Just the shoes

E:

Yes. Take off the shoes

S.T:

Well, maybe not

E: (Pause)

If a door opens--

S.T:

A door?

E:

Maybe somebody else comes inside

(from opposite sides. 2 with big head. Table set, cut bread,)

* * *

S.T:

I think a while ago, you said --whatever happens. But its true that I can imagine a less desirable catagory of things. . .

(feed S T who chokes. Recovers)

S.T:
Am I in Paradise?

E:

Well-- yes

S T:
This doesn’t look like Paradise

E:
This is Paradise

S T:

This doesn’t taste like paradise

E:

This is paradise

S T:
You mean, in a certain sense, this is Paradise

E:
Such sublty is beyond me

S T:
I think not, because you are the only one who says-- this is Paradise

E:
This does not mean that I am subtle. It simply means-- this is Paradise

S T: (Pause. Consider)

This is Paradise, but why.

E:

Notice-- You are the one and only person to say-- this is Paradise

(exit)

S.T: (alone)

. The blood inside me is circulating through my entire body. This inner turmoil is inside me, hard to believe, but true

(Music)

S.T:
Here I am, doing my thing. Here I am, doing my Paradise thing

H:
Are you in Paradise, doing your thing

S.T:
I am

(Pause)

It relates to what I said before-- about not being a serious person. Because I am not here in Paradise, and then-- I am

H:
This does not look like Paradise

S.T:
Here I am, doing my thing in a place that looks like Paradise

H:
No

S.T:
It doesn’t look like Paradise

H:
No

S.T:
Here I am, doing my thing in Paradise

H:

This is in Paradise

S.T:
This is in Paradise
Here is a list of potent items

A crown

E:
OK. Here is a crown

S.T:

A drum

E:

Here is a drum-- wait a minute

(Exit and return with drum)

S.T:

Hand

E:

Here is a hand-- take it

S.T:
Blindfold

H:
Blindfold

S.T:
Knife

E:

Knife.

H:
You favor physical objets over people

S.T:
It’s true that I don’t favor people, but what is inside people. And the potent physical objects I choose perform discoveries inside people

H:

Oh?

S.T:

You see what I mean? A brass trumpet would express your “OH” in a way that would shake things as they are to their very foundations

(pause, blows?)

I’d like to be turned inside out, and I realize that after exhausting myself with this instrument

H:

Inside out?

S.T:
Well, it was a momentary lust for something I probably can’t handle

E:

Crown

stabbing oneself

Large hands

blindfold

cape

eyeglasses

wings

S.T:

This is not me needing help, because a person who is never serious, never needs help

H:

This is not me, certainly

S.T:

Could it be that it is neither one of us independently-- but something between us, which is therefore darkness, and that darkness between us is my special province

H:

Knock knock

S.T:
No. Nobody else gets inside

H:
Why this door, if nobody else is supposed to get inside

S.T: (Against the door)
This door-- is so that people can know-- inside, exists no longer

(Music rises. Blinds up, woman through window, falls,,crawls off? Carried off? etc?. S.T. cowers, holds head)

E:

Are you OK?

S T:

I’m OK

E:
I’m worried when I see you

applying pressure to your head.

H:
Are you trying to cause pressure on

the outside of your head

be equal to the pressure inside?

S T:
No.

You misunderstand my gesture

E:
Is that why you make gesture in our present-- so they can be misunderstood?

S T:

No. No-- probably I do such things so that later-- I’ll have the opportunity to repeat the same things.

E:

Is that satisfying?

S T:

Yes. Almost as satisfying as when I do something, and then remembering I’ve done that before

E:
So you have the opportunity to choose between remembering things and repeating things

S T:

They’re both satisfying

E:
Doing one of two things is satisfying

S T:
Yes

E: More satisfying than doing both

S T:

I do both

(Pause)

That’s my behavior, doing repeating theings, then doing remembering things

(She exits)

Is it a whim, to have behavior instead of reality?

Because that’s my situation

(Pause)

Is it a whim

to have experiences ?

Because that’s my prison

(Noise builds)

Nobody should be foolish enough to cover their ears

in the neighborhood

of such tremendous energy

If I think about it-- that’s only thinking about it, but in reality-- I never cover my ears-- though I sometimes cover my eyes

(More noise)

--in the neighborhood of such noise

More noise, girl thru window, lies on floor. then silence)

E:
Somebody got off the bus at the wrong moment, I’m afraid

S T:

True. It was passing through a bad neighborhood, but it was also my opportunity for discoveries

E:
What discoveries?

S T:
Discoveries have no pre-conditions

E:
OK

S T:

This is why there is happiness in discoveries, even if-- afterwards --discoveries bring no happiness.

(Pause)

Nobody in this room choses to speak using the language of unhappiness, of course--

E:

What language is that--? What does it mean-- speaking in that language

(Pause)

S T:
It means means breaking things into a hundred syllables

E:
Than what happens only half happens,

S T::
Yes, we have hypothetical knowledge

about that, also

E:

I’d rather straddle my experience than be

self victemized in small packages of discrete events

(woman on floor being lifted to bed, covered)

S T::

Some things seem to happen as a result of other things--

but let’s pretend everything is reversable.

But even then, energy escapes in the cracks.

So let’s be careful-- because I’d rather not go blind to what’s happening in my vicinity..

(Pause)

If energy blinds people, so be it. That’s not such a great price to pay, if it’s real energy we’re talking about

E:
So be it

S T:

So be it.

(She uncovers woman, who sits up, brused)

E:
This didn’t really happen

S T:
Tomorrow brings even more surprises. Surprise number one-- That’s all there is

E:

Surprise number two-- That’s always enough.

S T::

This was my idea from the beginning. But like all ideas it leaves something out

M: (dress off over head)

What you see is inevitably what you get

E:

No, what you never see is always what you get,

S T:

When you say that, it’s difficult not to flash a mental image, but mental images come and go

(Pause)

M:

Do we see what we get? or do we see what we don’t get

E: (arm around M)
Listening to these words --he may not be doing the same thing with those words that we’re doing

M:

Does he see what he gets?

E: (pulling M’s hair)

Careful what you say, dear, because you don’t really get it-- and if you don’t get it then he doesn’t get it either-- get it?

Get it?

M:

Ow!

E:

Our little conversation doesn’t mean much to the two of us having this little conversation-- but to St Thomas over there-- well, it means a whole lot-- because it’s really happening on a whole other emotional level-- which is very emotional as far as he’s concerned. Not that he makes his emotions very availale to us.

M:

His emotions are someplace else, I think

E:
He thinks everything is someplace else. See how he twists and turns?

M:

No, the minute we begin talking to each other and leaving him out of the conversation completely-- look at him turn to stone that can’t move unless we do the moving--

E:

-- spare me these complicated analogies, little Marion, because I’d rather not participate in this little ball game-- but here I am--

and here comes the ball

speeding toward me

and I lift my hands to protect myself

but the ball manages to slip through my hands

at full velocity--

and hits me in my head.

Right now,

it is hitting me in the head

that ball is

hitting me in the head

hitting me in the head.

(she falls)

(song)

S T:
I don’t know

the name of my best friend

I have no best friend

It’s you, it’s you, it’s you

I don’t know

where I’ll be later tonite

but that’s ok because

wherever I am

you’re with me in my dreams

you’re with me in my dreams

I don’t know how to remember my dreams

So I make them up

That’s just as good

that’s just as good

Of course it is

of course it is

of course it is

M:

Our friend St Thomas, our friend St Thomas

H:

Now that he’s in china, he better learn how to use chopsticks

M:

Now don’t be confused by this, St Thomas, because this is not China, this is a city in the United States of America

(Pause)

H:

We know that you like to think of yourself in China

because then you’re able to see things in front of your very eyes

as if they were new and fresh

--as if

a newcomer indeed

in a foreign land

where all seems beautiful and strange

(Pause)

S T:

I agree that now that I’m in China

I’d better learn how to use chopsticks--

but these are too big for my fingers

H:
After a while, as you become confortable with these chopsticks

--they will seem to shrink in size, St Thomas

S T:
Now that I’m in China--

M:

This is not China,

S T:

Strange-- it doesn’t feel like I’m in a city in America

Maybe there’s just parts of a city-- somewhere in America

that looks like this looks now,--but I am not heretofore familar

with that part of such a city in such an America

M:

Liar

(Pause)

S T:

Now that I’m in china

it’s true-- it feels that I am on the other side of the earth

walking upside down.

M:

Liar

S T:

I’m a very serious person and I never lie

H:

What about your undeniable desire for a certain psychic disorientation

(Pause, music rises)

S T:

True, true, true, true!

(activity)

S T:

Now that I’m in China

I operate under the belief system that things spoken

are automatically incisive and wonderful --

because the langauge that I cannot understand

allows me to believe this about the things that are being said

M:

Then why not deny yourself spoken language completely

Because any language that is eventually understandable

speaks things that are understandable

and I bet this is not one hundred percent exciting

to you.

S T:

True

M:

Because you lust-- if I may say so--

(Stops)

You lust for things that are not understadable

but-- that are opaque to your understanding

H:

Oh he lusts for this excitment, and he lusts for this

opaquencess

M:
Yes-- this is his lust

H:

Oh, this is definitely his excitiment

S T:

True! true! true! true! true!

E:

Look at him now--

he’s turning almost invivible--

M:

I still see him

E:

Yes, but it’s almost as if

light from another world

reveals facial details

that turn his face into it’s opposite

S T:

what’s the opposite of

my particular face?

E:
(Pause)

Well-- I don’t have words for that--

S T:

Details. I live in the details--

E:

I don’t have words for that

S T:

Liar. You said there were certain details--

E:

I lied

S T:

I could tell you were not lying.

E:

Right, I wasn’t lying, but I was thinking of words that are totally worn out by now.

(Pause)

S T:

Say something

E:

After they’re worn out, are they still words? I don’t think so-- you don’t think so--

M:

Something that

twists the mouth into

funny shapes,

could be called

kisses.

(girls kiss)

S T:

Now that I’m in china,

I’d better learn how to pronounce

funny chinese words

E:
The twang in certain people’s voice--

turns into chinese when it reaches my lips

(kiss)

S T:

Chinese people never kiss

M:

That’s eskimos-- Burrr.

(Holds other for warmth)

S T:

If Chinese people don’t kiss,

how do they make babies--

E:

Cinese people

come out upside down, don’t they?

M:

Right--

E:

--this is the other side of the world, isn’t it?

M:

Right

E:

So a chinese point of view--

is in fact-- an opaque point of view

S T:

This is very exciting to me

because the chinese language--

M:

Kiss me

S T:

I don’t know how to kiss

in the chinese language,

so it’s impossible for me

to imagine having chinese babies

ALL SING:
Oh we all love

chinese babies

chinese babies

chinese babies

H:

I’ve managed to psyche out that St Thoimas

has made it his special idea

to eat all meals

in a special chinese resturant

--which does not prove, alas

he is really in China

because chinese style resturants

exist in many cities

outside the borders

of real china

(food)

And chinese resturants

are often impenetrable,

because one can’t finally, compute

the vast number of combinations

produceable with chinese ingredients

to produce the formidable variety

in the number of dishes

that do go on and on

in chinese resturants.

E:

Time waits for no man, St Thomas

S T:

This enrages me

E:
It takes time

to calculate the number of

possible dishes available

S T: (pause)

How much better, then,

to say impenetrable,

as a substitute for long calculations

that would

add to the pressure of time

which I hope to

avoid whenever possible.

E:

I know. The pressure of time is unendurable

S T:

But-- to confront the opaque

and call it the unfathomable

--this is how to take joy

in the opaque, and in the unfathomable.

(women exit)

This let’s time pass

with no stress whatsoever

Thank you!

H: (re-enter)

Thank you for what?

S T:

Thank you for making things difficult for me.

(other behind him , beats him)

Oww! Ow!

E:

Why does this hurt me more than it hurts you?

S T:

Oww!

E:

Do you have any idea what I’m experiencing?

S T:

Yes. I have some idea.

E:

Say it

S T:

Don’t be frightenmed

E:

Say it!

S T:

Stage fright.

E: (pause)

Say it!

S T: Stage fright.-- Stage fright! Stage fright!

ALL

Stage fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!

(re-adjust)

S T:

Confession is good for the soul.

E:

But I have nothing to confess.

S T:

What a disappointment.

E:

My whole life is full of similar complaints. Am I a real person?

M:

This sounds like ice-skating music-- but I don’t ice-skate.

H:

Are you crazy?

M:

--What’s the connection.?

(Pause)

Am I stupid? I don’t think so.

S T:

One never knows, however

E:

--Am I stupid?

H:

I hope so.

E:
Do I care about my own stupidity?

M:

I am not stupid

E:

Emotional fulfilment only. That’s all. What am I looking for in this relationship? That’s easy. Emotional fulfilment

M:

That’s what I’m looking for in all my experiences too

H:

Me too.

(pause)

S T:

Then the question is, what provides emotional fulfilment

E:

You tell us.

S T:

Hungry?

(They look back at left food)

E:

No. I’m not hungry

S T:

Tell the truth

M:

We’re trying to be polite--

S T:

You’ve been tricked

M:

You don’t understand?

I want you to say things to me that will be disturbing things. Not disturbing in general-- but to myself in particular

I want things said, that will cut me like a knife. In that, I want your collaboration

E:

Why should we collaborate with you?

S T:

I need to experience that kind of pressure

E:
Why

S T:
Don’t ask! Just decide if you’ll collaborate. For a suitable sum of course.

E: (Pause)

Let me think about this

(exit)

M:

I don’t suppose you recognize me,

S T:

No

M:

I’ve been watching you in secret for a long time

S T:

How quaint.

M:

Who am I?

S T:

First -- guess who I am.

M:

St Thomas

ST:

Yes, but who am I?

M: (Pause)

In that case, you have to define yourself.

S T:

Try understanding the obvious-- I don’t get even the energy to SPEAK

--unless things are manifest that start tearing me apart

hoping, hoping, hoping --to effectuate please-- a tremendous BURNING sensation inside all dreamed of speech possibilities which are not yet forthcoming--

because the only real person standing here that could possibly engage in meaningful conversation is

MYSELF, MYSELF, MYSELF--

(out of breath, waits)

Sending roots into the exhausted earth.

Vanity of course

But the idea

was not for fruit

to perform its annual mechanism

of birth, ripness and inevitable decay--

But rather

an appropriate

down time

-- an end of time

Some blatent,

tremendous

hover

to sustain me.

And I swallow

whole

all my expectations

and revole

here and now

like the pure air machine

I have always believed myself to be in reality

You see my problem.

I have never REALLY been interesting to you

Admit it.

I too am no longer interesting to myself, and that hurts--see?

Why do you make me say such things?

(He set up canvas as he gets brushes, mirror on canvas and other places)

We never made you say things-- though it’s easy to understand how you try to make the rest of us believe in our invisible nature--

(all women look in mirrors)

--though that’s hard to believe in when the evidence turns out to be the opposite

(they mirror, back up, hide eyes, etc)

S T: (staing into easle mirror)

Present tense, past tense or future tense--

E:
All three at the same time.

S T:

Wrong. This is right now-- the cerimony of breaking of heads against hard stone.

(glass crash-- mirrors fall)

But of course, that takes more than the available courage

E:
I prefer not to see myself in some fucking miror that talks back to me.

(women exit)

S T: (alone, with brushes in hand)

OK. If I were to speak to myself of some inner desiore that ended, not in facts--

but in opportunities lost--

H: (as three re-appear, flowers in hair)

One last chance--

S T:

No thank you, because the more you circle my being appropriately dead --the more you wear those illusionary flowers I would never be able to paint into my own masterpiece. --See? I hold paint brushes between my fingers-- and as they tremble slightly--

I do read their stacatto language

un-captured against so many mediocre

‘where could they be hiding’ canvases of my own--

but now, to the real depth of things--

Ah --

(brushes into face)

I am painting this face probably. because I’d like it to be my own so invisible thing.

M:

Your face is still visible

S T:

But yours, sweet Marion-- with the anticipation of my own personal pain--

M:

Yes I anticipate pain, St Thomas-- but I have no way to make that remarkable like you do

S T:

You haven’t sufficient resources--

M:

Right. No resources

S T:
--then we must move into the unknown immediately

(waits)

M:

We are not moving

S T:

Oh yes, we are moving. We are moving.

True that a bit of stage fright freezes the moment momentarily perhaps,

but we are moving, neverthless. We are certainly moving!

(Music crests)

(silence)

ALL (soft)

Stage fright. Stage fright. Stage fright

H:

St Thomas--

(all hide eyes)

St Thomas, who is alive right now

liveing in a city

from which no escape is possible.

though an alternate city--

S T:

--He knows this!

H:

--does exist

E:

And our beloved St Thomas

imagines continually

how much more desirable it would be

to live in a city --not this one--

where certian spiritual issues would certainly take precidence.

M:

Oh, How desirable to live in such a city

where men and women both, lust for the confrontation

with opaque objects, impenetrable

and therefore fascinating to men and women such as St Thomas--

who’s aim in life is not to interpret -- is never to fully understand

everything which might be encountered in such a pretend life inside such a blessed city--

(Pause)

But rather

the hoped for encounter with something, that in its depths

--like me--is truly the inexplicable.

Is this correct?

S T:

Yes. This is correct.

A truly-- glorious city, where this might transpire

would be a city inside of wich

one would truly desire to exist, day by day by day

Which pains me-- truly.

To realize deeply

that I do not now live

in such a city,

Though I do dream of it--

I still --dream of such a city in many languages--

though I himself

knows only that single language which is neither

the language of birds

nor other animals, nor angles on high,

but rather

that speakable language that I, St Thomas, have rejected absolutely

--though I still use, myself, such a fallen language

which is the one language I am able to speak, alas--

M:

Alas, St Thomas

S T:

Alas--

M:

--trying as best you can, twisting that language

til it becomes--

opaque like the world around you is opaque

S T:

It feeds me completely.

E:

Is this is why he’s holding his head?

(He isn’t)

S T:

Shall we escape to Soputh America perhaps?

E:

What do they have in South America that’s more appealing than right here?

S T:

I don’t know. But it seems-- far away. It must be very different in South America. Unrecognizable maybe. Full of strange feeling--

M:

I’d like to experience such a place

S T:

Then come with us to South America

M: (pause)

No. Include me out.

S T: (turning)

You come too

H:

I will not

S T:

Why not?

H:

What you propose is that I sacrifice my own life --to your happiness

S T:

That’s all it takes

H:
I refuse

M:

Right. Then I refuse also.

S T:

Good.

(they are taken aback)

Remember. You’re here to cause me trouble

M:

Maybe--

S T:

Isn’t that what you’re being paid for?

M:

I can’t remember.

(pause)

ALL:

Stage fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!

(Pause)

S T: (wallet, gives bills to all)
OK-- take this for now

E:

How much is this

S T:

two hundred

E:
I want more

S T:

Two hundred is a lot

E:

That’s all?

S T:

For now

E:

Guess what happens

S T:

What

H:

This is bad news, I’m afraid

M:

It looks like she’s going to start beating the shit out of you

H:

Yes, that’s what it looks like

M:

A drink first?

(phone)

H:

Answer that

S T:

No

H:

Why not

S T:

Previously, this telephone has caused me grief

(book presented. Cloth off.)

Previously-- this book has caused me grief.

(Pause)

E:
Kiss it

(done.)

This book has certainly caused me grief.

(Takes it)

I think I‘ll rip it to pieces, therefore--?

(grabbed from him, thrown to floor.)

E:

Kiss it

ALL THREE:

Kiss it!

(On floor. Kisses it? Rolls on back, they are kicking him)

E:

You should get yourself into better shape, St Thomas

You should work out a little

M:
I don’t think he looks sufficiently muscular

H:

You don’t look particularly muscular to me

S T:

Right. But I have plans to work out

M:

Of course, I’d be a little worried if you get TOO muscular

(all laugh, kicking again)

S T:

Look. Since we are all going to die anyway, it doesn’t matter what happens to us. Therefore. I suggest we kill people

E:

What people

S T”

I think you know what I mean.

People we don’t like. I mean-- really evil people

H:
I know some

S T:

Who. Which one’s are you thinking of?

M:

Look in this photo album. It’s full of faces--

S T:

OK. Maybe we should consider some of the people in this album--

(E hits him with club)

Ow!

(falls)

Do you like playing golf that much?

E:

Yes, I do

S T:

Why

E:

You know I like golf, st Thomas. We’ve been acquainted for ten years--

S T:

Twelve years I think--

E:

Very well, twelve long years

(Pause)

You should know by now, that golf is one of my hobbies

S T:

Yes. I’ve seen you going off to play golf so often, I’ve concluded it must be a hobby

E:

I like it

S T:

I guess you do

(Pause)

Are you good at it?

H:

She hopes to get better

(hit?)

S T:

Ow!--

(recovering)

I’m a dangerous and untrustworthy person. I think you should know that

E:

(smiles)

Thank you for telling us

S T:

I can see you don’t believe me

E:

Would you say you are a threat to society?

H:
She says-- would you say you are a threat to society?

S T:

Probably. It’s possible that at any moment, I may go to the bookcase, and take out one of the photo albums at random, open it --randomly --look at the face that appears on the particular page I open to at random, and what I find in that randomly selected face -- blinding, overwhelming truth

E:

Lucky you

S T:

You don’t believe me

E:

I believe you might possibly do such a thing. But I don’t believe the page you open to will automatically reveal a face that contains blinding truth

S T:

Ah, but you think it might.

E:

Accidentally --you might open a page containing the picture of a face into which you-- with your convincing way of twisting things, might possibly convince us to see in that face, echo’s of some imagined, blinding-- something that could be called truth of some kind-- but for lack of a better word, it could be called-- accidental.

(Hits)

S T:

Ow!

H:
--What kind of a person are you, St Thomas? Help us to understand?

S T:

OK. I’m going to put ten dollars in each of these shoes. Now I’m going to ask you to wear the shoes with the ten dollars inside.

(Done)

I understand that probably not all the shoes fit perfectly

M:
My shoe doesn’t.

S T:

Does the ten dollars help?

M:
No

H:

Ten dollars not a significant sum

S T:

True

H: (Pause)

Well. We have the ten dollars in our shoes. Now what

S T:
I want the two of you to go in the closet, together

H:
Why

S T:

I want to see what happens if you’re locked together in the closet-- for two hours together

M:

Do you think we’d have sex

S T:

I don’t know. Are both of you wonderful and desirable human beings?

H:

What’s that supposed to ‘mean’?

S T:
I don’t know

(Pause)

Take the ten dollars out of the shoe and see if it smells from your foot

(Done)

M:

Mine doesn’t

(E offers drink)

S T:

This is my favorite time of day thank god.

H:

What are you recommending now?

S T:

I recommend coctails

H:

OK

E:

I thought St Thomas didn’t drink

S T:

I don’t. I warned you not to take anything I say seriously

H:

Can we offer you a drink?

S T:

OK

E:

Vodka?

S T:

Why not

E: (after he drinks)

It could have a bad effect on you

(Pause)

Are you going to fall down?

S T:

No.

H:

Do you hear music?

S T:

I don’t hear anything. I don’t hear any music

M:

There is music

S T:

Perhaps, but I don’t hear it

(E and H dancing)

M:

I can assure you. There IS music

S T:

I don’t care really, if there is or there isn’t

Silence is golden also

(pause)

E:

I have to admit. In your own way-- you are a great human being, St Thomas. But because you’ve been a bad boy, I’m going to beat you with this club

S T:
How have I been bad?

E:

I think you know

(Pause)

You’ve had sexual relations with this lady

S T:

Who

E:

My girl friend

S T:

No I could never have done that

E:

But you have

S T:

I haven’t

E:

You have

S T: (Pause)

In my dreams, I have. But that’s no reason to beat me

E:

Isn’t it possible, as a normal human being, I’m jealous?

(hits)

S T:

Ow!

That hurt--

E:

I meant it to hurt

S T:

You may be jealous, yes. But there are many other considerations

E:

Oh, I know that

S T:

Such as-- why did she come --to sleep with me in my dreams?

E: (Pause)

Punishment often comes as a surprise, doesn’t it?

(wack)

S T:

Ow!

E:

Oh please-- take it like a man, St Thomas

S T:

OK. Do your very worst to me.

(Pause)

Well?

E:

This doesn’t make sense. I should be the one receiving punishment

S T:

What an asshole you are, asshole! It’s of no help to me if you behave like an asshole!

E:

I’m sorry

S T:

I do not forgive you!

E:

I can’t help it.

(Pause)

I probably have stage fright.

Did you hear me?

Stage fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!

ALL:
Stage Fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!

S T:

Listen everyody. we’re all nervous , we’re all uptight. Let’s have drinks

M:

Alcohol?

S T:

Yes. It’ll enable us to losen up. Make contact with our creative resources

H:

But isn’t there a risk we’ll just sort of stagger around being drunk?

S T:

That’s a risk-- but it’s my belief the benifits are potentially greater than the risks

H:

OK then. Let’s have drinks.

(Pause)

This bottle is empty

S T: (open wallet, takes out cash)

Here. Go get us some drinks

H:

Where does all this money come from?

S T:

You don’t want to know about such things

H:

Oh? Why is that

S T:

People get nervous about money. They don’t like to think deeply about such things

H:

Ah-- meaning, the lilies of the field ask not?

S T:

Right

E:

But you like having money to throw around, isn’t that true, St Thomas?

S T:

I’m not exactly-- throwing it around, am I?

(He tosses some in the air. Others go down on the floor scrambling for it)

It’s a GIFT. Think about it.

How did it come to be, that there is MONEY rather than no money!

Where did it come from-- how did the world decide to invent and spew forth MONEY! What is the first cause of this MONEY!

(Pause, all quiets down)

Ah. This too shall pass

H:

This will not pass, asshole.

(She is going through his pockets)

S T:

Is that the same thing? In my case at least

(Pause)

H: (finding more money in Lawrence’s pockets)

Don’t worry about your money, by the way

S T:

I’m not thinking about my money

(as H exits)

It’s God. That’s what I’m thinking about. Contunualy

M:

This is the modern world. St Thomas There is no God

S T:

Well of course, little Marion-- but is everything explainable--? Or are some things still a mystery. Such as-- why is there something-- rather than nothing at all in which we find ourselves

E: (Pause)
Some things are a mystery

S T:

You see? I prove my point

M:
What point do you prove

S T:

You just heard it. God. I actually risked using a forbidden term -- for something that isn’t old fashioned after all. Opaque. Impenetrable

M:

OK. Then let’s go someplace where just you and I-- can have a closer relationship to this God you just mentioned

S T:
Agreed

M:

Where is that someplace?

E:

Where is that someplace

M:

Through that door?

S T:

Really?

E:

I’ll throw this switch, which will turn on this green light over the door-- and when it goes on it mean--OK, now it’s OK to go through

(She comes close to him)

Relax, St Thomas. I can see tension--

S T:

I can’t relax

E:

Why not

S T:

OK . Let’s go to China

E:

Why do you say China

S T:

Let’s go to China

(enter H. Overcoat)

M:

He wants to go to China

H:

Ah, he wants to go to China where they speak chinese--

S T:

Yes, I want to go to China and speak chinese

E:

Listen up everybody--

(buzzer and green light)

S T:

Wait a minute! What does it really mean when the green light goes on over that door.

E:

What it means is simply that violent things are happening inside. Not the right kind of place for our St Thomas

S T:

Why not

E:

I don’t think so

S T:

Why the fuck is it like this

E:

Like what

S T: (hesitates, then--)

-- I have this appendage that swells up on the front of my body. It’s called my penis. And a great variety of species have a similar system. But why?

Why is this the way things are

Make me understand

E:

Is it time to tell the truth?

S T:

Yes,

E:

No. I don’t think it’s time to tell the truth

S T:

Understand me please. I want you to say things that will be very disturbing-- not to others, such as yourselve, but to me alone--myself in particular.

I want things said, that cut me like a knife. In that hope, I want your collaboration

H:

Why do you need our help

S T:

Isn’t it obvious? I need to experience that kind of pressure

M:

Why-- ask him why

H:

Why

S T:

No--You don’t ask me why. You just decide whether or not you’ll collaborate. For a suitable fee, of course.

H: (Pause)

Let me think about this

(exit)

E:

You know I think I recognize you after all

S T:

Then all prophicies are fulfilled. This is an appropriate room. The things that are possible here--

E:

Don’t elaborate, please

S T:

They happen, I think, for only one reason. This room can be witness

M:

For what reason

S T:

A witness

E:

She said for what reason ?

S T:
Some things are measurable on a scale whose co-ordinants are not know to us-- for instance, the grid on which I can chart my experience-- is not my experience

E:

This is your experience, not my experience

S T:

It is a vulgar world, my friend, that sustains these belief systems from which we are trying to escape, and I do include you--

E:

OK. I think escape might be desirable

S T:

For that reason, I am already holding my head

E:

OK. I am holding my head also. Doing a private kind of suffering, I admit.

M:

Why aren’t you holding your head when you say you are holding your head

S T:

Didn’t I tell you-- nothing I do or say is serious--

andhat’s the lightness in me, that’s the lightness inside me

because that’s the one thing that makes me available to things that are

opaque and impenetrable, thank God--

because if I were a completely serious person who only said things that were to be taken seriously--

I would no longer be alive, would I now?

And thank goodness we are in this room which at least can witness this

because this ‘being witnessed’ all of this--

creates a certain, and desirable

being alive, which is identifiable, is it not

--as stage fright. Stage fright.

ALL

Stage fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!

(helpers dance in front)

THE END