I wanted to go buy a record. I needed a little magestic something in my life. But my eyes hurt. But I felt inside a shell. My head clogged.

What would happen if I was opened to this magesty-- either I'd ruin it, or it would kill me. '
illed by great music". We're talking Mozart here. Instead-- lunch? That's another possibility. Oh, I wish I was back in France! Of course, if I was, my problems wouldn't be any different. I'd still be bored. Translate that into this layer covering the head, not covering the head, but covering the individual organs of the head: Let's see-- eyes, brain, inner nose-- inside the ears, lots of things I can't locate or name, that's what the music would have to go to work on but would it be effective? No. I'm sure it wouldn't. But there is still this powerful, powerful, drivenness, to get out and purchase the goddamn record. The goddman morsal of greatness which I shall no doubt, reduce to the level of background atmosphere! No more atmosphere! No more nostalgia! But alas, I'm not strong enough to pull it off.A tree shaking with birds. Now this is something it might be worthwhile to construct. Each individual bird would have to vibrate independently, and that would, then, effect the tree. It would be eterenal christman-- no, I stole that idea-- but I didn't steal the first one, the one about the tree and the birds and the shaking.


I am that tree. Where are, locatable, those birds. They are not me, they are not visible. But they are at work.Oh my God! The agony of the truth.

The agony of the truth is that my unproductive, sterile moments, are the moments that feed me, that justify my existence, that bring me the kind of irritable frustration that leads to a slow circling around a new idea that because of my stasis-- has time and space to grow, not as mine but as itself.

The productive moments produce only vanity, fill me with a vigor that self-blinds

This is the truth

This is why suffering is unavoidableAre you afraid of me?

Are you speaking for the entire collection of people surrounding you?

I thought I was alone

______________________

You are unknown to me

How is that possible?

Believe it.

How. What is the effort I must make in order to believe such a thing?

Careful

Why?

Just like that. Careful.Can you stop the pain

Why should I do that

It's desirable for me to have pain stopped

Can you locate it

The pain

Yes

Not really

But it's pain

Yes

(Pause)

Something inside you quivers

Yes. It's resonating

How can I stop what you can't locate

By changing it's location

Ah, I can utilize an imaginary focus

I like that ideaHaving lost control of my body-- the ideas which fill mu mind-- which is of course a part of my body, are but pale fluid.

Now, how can this sad fact be exploited. What newness herein can be made to reveal itself by some new, practically effortless stratagy.

(Pause)

I wait, but nothing comes. And --is that the pearl? Can I let that nothing revolve in the empty space of my stasis, and that nothing revolves and polishes itself--?

Pearl, pearl of great value, I do, you, evoke.

Look at the void between my mental fingers. Ah, It's the entire-- void-of-the-world. Welcome Master. May I serve you?

(Pause)

I know if I wait long enough, just a little patience, you'll answer me.

What's hidden in this

In what

You see? You don't believe me

I believe you, but I need help.

(Pause)

If you need help-- what's hidden vanishes

But as far as I'm concerned, that's already invisible

Don't you make a distinction between invisible and hidden?

Yes

I didn't help

I think you helped by asking the right question

Ah, you speak from the position of one who knows

Do I?

(Pause)

Let's start again

OK

(Pause)

What's hidden in this

Maybe it's not

Hidden?

Let's think about that by closing our eyes

(Done)

It's not true that I can't see anything, of course

Of course. Open your eyes

(Done)

Now, what's hidden?

(Pause)

I had an urge to say "Ah', but I decided to swallow my own words

Interesting. Is a word spoken, swalled as a matter of fact

Interesting. I think so

Was that my idea or your idea

Let's come to an agreement

What

(Pause)

We won't speak about things that are hidden

Right. We won't do what we can't help doing

(Up. Hesitate, shake, exit)He who reads the book of life goes in multiple directions. Often there is a pause, or gap, in the reading. Life goes on, but is not read.

It slides away from one, as it were

I'm ready to catch what slips through.

What slips through where?

Something significant could happen at any minute

That's true

If it happens, I'm ready to mentally record it

That sounds like somebody participating in life only half way

How can you say that?

Think about it.

(Are you in love?)Love is confusing to me

Not to me

Liar. You're in a state of perpetual confusion

I suppose I am

And what causes that?

Love


(Only because I love you

I don't know if I can return that love

I know that

Is that why you're in a state of confusion?

Certainly not

Then I'm confused

I am too, --but I'm not confused

Ah, that's love after all

Yes

We agree).

(Pause)

Then you share my point of view

Suppose that sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't agree-- it's bound to be like that

Then we agree

Well, perhaps you're right after all

Now don't patronize me

That's the furthest thing from my mindNothing to do. Nothing to do. I'll just sit here

I don't understand this "nothing to do".

Well, certain things in the course of my life have engaged me. Now they don't

Ah

(Pause)

Nothing to do

Right. Nothing to do.I can't be here if you're here

But look--

No!

(Turns away)

It's happening like you said it couldn't happen

(Turns)

For a minute I didn't recognize you

That's pretty insulting

Welcome

(Pause)

I hope somebody else intrudes

Well, the door's never been locked--

That must be how I got in here

My invitation was no mistake

Could I see?

(She out letter, gives it)

This is my handwriting

Well I hope so

(folds letter)

As a matter of fact, these are my real sentiments

Could I have that back?

I better keep this a secret

You forget, I already read the letter

Can you remember everything about it?

That's not why I want it back

I'll make a deal-- when I've committed it to my memory-- then you can have it back.

(pause)

OK

(other opens, reads)

How long is this going to take?

Ah, it's not very polite to turn my back on you, is it.How far can I go with you

Pretty far--

(Hand up)

But you better keep your distance


*

This particular head has nothing inside

Do you think other heads--

Oh yes

(Pause)

You didn't let me finish my sentence

See? You admit it was full and you were trying to empty it

Did I say that?

Almost

Then you were projecting it into me, so you weren't empty after all

I was using you to give myself the illusion

(Pause)

Can't you imagine how much I dislike being used?


--------------------

Don't tell me this territory hasn't been previously explored

You wouldn't recognize it

Then we have a problem

What

(Pause)

Somplace inside me a door must have been left open

(Pause, shuts something)

That's your problem, but it isn't my problem

Don't tell me there isn't a link between us, because if that was true we wouldn't be holding a conversation

(Pause)

A conversation is one escape mechanism I'd rather not use

(Goes)

ow that I'm alone I can tell the truth about things

(Thinks)

Well-- about everything but myself

(Gets book. Opens)

My God. This book says it all

(Enters)

What book are you reading

(Close)

Oh, nothing

Are you trying to hide it from me?

No. I just didn't want to be impolite by seeming to be involved with something else when you came into the room

Instead, you find a different way to be impolite

Tell me, and I correct myself

Show me the book

You probably won't find it as interesting as I did

(Gives it)

(Reads, looks up)

I can make head or tails of this

(Gives it back)

Read it to me

Read it out loud?

Yes. If I hear it, I might comprehend better than just listening

(Looks)

All the words are run together so it's just letter after letter ad infinitum. I don't know how to pronounce that

(Pause)

But you read it to yourself?

Well-- I just projecy into it my own meanings

Ah, you've been keeping secrets

What

You own meanings

I don't think so

That's why I left a minute ago, and that's why I'm about to repeat myself

What I do is perfectly normal

You get one more chance

To do what?

Time's up

(A brief pause. Goes)

Should I go back to the book? I don't think so. I think I was just fooling myself

(Enters)

Time's up

I didn't expect you

Let me see the book

(Given, puts on shelf)

Now let's see if you can find what I've hidden in plain sight

(Looks around, no success)

Well-- you win

No I don't

Why

I don't know where I put it

(Both close eyes. Whirl)

Well. We thought getting dizzy would help

--But it doesn't

(Both laugh)

I don't know-- maybe it helped

Right. I feel-- a little more normal at least.

(They shake hands) (with saw)

This may hurt somebody, but pain is the way in which people acquire knowledge, so hurting isn't what happens. So it won't hurt

I thought you were going to sAw wood, but now that I realize you're going to saw my arm. I'm in the process of detaching myself from that too.

Here it is

(Lifts arm)

Ah, is that another one of my arms?

Yes, the only problem is --it's already been sawed off apparently

You were perfectly right. It didn't hurtMaybe I'm waiting for it to rain

This is unpredictable

Then I go to the window and tell you, Oh, it's raining

This is not important to me

Getting wet?

Not importamnt to me.The writing you're on the verge of writing

--How did you know that?

(Pause)

It's the only problem, isn't it?

What

How are you going to get what is inside you, outside of you

(Pause)

That shouldn't be a proble,

I don't see that hand being used

Ah, I have a problem with the hand

What is the problem

It's rigid

You should exercise it

What I'm cut off from is the utter bafflement with things that heretofore-- drives me/

You are no longer baffled by things

Right. That's what I've achieved. utter sterility

Well, it's true. Nothing is a mysteru in the face of genuine pain

Shoul;d we get on with the sawing?

Might as well.I am one of those people who can control nothing. Life has to seize me-- then my twisting and turning is both evocative and highly unusual, but if I try to make things happen, in contrast, all is banility

Another way of saying this is to say-- if I have a plan, what results from that plan is less vital and less interesting than what results if I have no plan, and the storm of life simply strands me on some heretofore unrecognizeable island

Utter incoherence, that's what I persue

Why?

I refuse to tell you why

Then why tell me what you persue

Because I want to

It's true I suppose, to persue what one wants in each moment, is to persue incoherence

Is it about to rain?

I don't see why it should

Then this is ioncoherent

(Pause)

The light outside, as I look through the window, persuAdes me that rain is in the air

That is incoherent, I agree

I don't see how you can agree with incoherence, because that would mean understanding it

I understand the position from which it is launched

Ah, then I've failed

Always

But failure is impossible

I agreeCarpets cove the floor. This is normal

Feet mention the idea of direction

A car spins into history

Roads less traveled becomes colorful. This is normal

Normal people notice themselves for bizzare reasons.I see lots of writing --

--Is it of any interest that material has been written down? This is a nothing interesting. This "What has been written" is a peripheral convcern at best.

(Pause)

Who could imagine I'd end up liking you

But you're nothing like me at all.

Come to think of it, I am.

Is that why you like me?

(Pause)

I'm hesitating because I only like to say things that seem wise. Except, to be honest, that was a year ago.

(Pause. other winds clock?)

Do you want me to explain what happened in the last year?

(Pause)

I stopped being interested in wisdom, which now, in its manifestations, seems to me-- well, let me search for the word. . .

I see you haven't found it

No. That's my particular stab at poignancy

Not being able to find the word?

Yes.

(pause) Not being able to offer up one more nugget of wisdom

Exactly. Or-- more or less

Ah, falling back into old habits

You're refering to that tacked on "More or less"?

I am

I can't take it back

It's out there

It's more or less out there

Congradulations

For what

You succeeded in vulgarizing it

More or less

Yes

I admit, that's why I like you

If it haden't been for my example, you never would have understood the stupidity of wisdom, right?

Right

(Pause)

I'm like you

Right

If it haden't been for me, I couldn't have been where I am now

Right

(Shake hands, both exit)

(Pops back)

Did I leave some writing?

(looks), finds)

I think I'll put this in the trash

(Exit. Other in, snoops about, other peeks in)

Looking for something?

I wanted to see what you'd written

It was worthless

Are you the best judge?

Oh, I'm not talking about my own particular efforts, I'm just saying it was worthless. Do you appreciate the difference?

Is it raining?

Let's go to the window

We can see it from here

It's not raining

(Pause)

Once again, you hit it right on the button

You mean I'm right

Yes

Then say so

(Pause)

You're right. It was worthless

(Holds out papers he's been hiding)

Surprise!

We don't need that

OK

(Throws out window)

If it does start raining--

--There'll be a clump of wet papers.

That's why I like you

These things happen

Yes

Nobody controls it

Like the weather

Yes. I like the weather

(Shake hands. Exit)

Stupidity is discovered to hold great promise. My rooms are re-decorated.

The world comes full circle, in order not to be forgotten.

A blackboard is erased, and thereby thinks it redefines itself, not realizing somebody else rubbing it out.

A book turns its own pages. This is normalI want something from you

What

I don't know what

The book from which wisdom has been drained.You won't believe this of me. I am ruled by emotion

I can see that on your face

My God, I didn't know that

Of course. I can see it in the way you hold your body

My position?

Of course

What is my position

(Pause)

You're asking me to speak about something that escapes anguage

Well, your position is very consistent

I want to make a gift

OK

This is my manuscript, from which I have drained all wisdom

Will I be able to fill it with my own emotions?

When you read it?

Yes

Who said anything about emotions

I know, but I can't control them

Well, I don't know if my book will appeal to you

It's what I want

Why

(Pause)

I can't answer that until I've read it

Suppose you found it unreadable

So far, that's true

Here, let me put it in this locked cabinet

(Pause)

This is indeed, food for thought

Then you've misunderstood me completely

Wait a minute-- it was you, that was supposed to understand me.

I know. So let my failure be my failure, and yours-- well, I can't speak to that. I can only register it in my mind and then, once and for all, cast it out

Do I move differently now?

I couldn't say

You had certain opinions about my posture

I still do

What are they

(Pause)

I can't say

I thought maybe--

--I'd change my mind? Yes. but I can't talk about it

What kind of effect does it have on you

Hey-- did somebody say these lips were sealed?

Not exactly

Right. Not exactly. Therefore don't press me, or I'll turn into a whole other person and that will be totally confusing

I don't mind.

Liar

Well, responding to that kind of insult, I may just force my way into this cabinet

(Struggles, can't)

It's really strong, isn't it.

I'm just as surprised as you are

Really?

Of course

(They embrace)Who asks

Asks. --Did I hear that correctly.

Now wait a minute

(Pause)

Are you in love

Who asks?

I can't believe what I asked

Maybe you were running from the truth

________________________

Am I the kind of person who runs away from the truth

Was I afraid

Wait a minute

(Pause)

I can't legislate for your own emotions

Suppose I told you I'm not in control of my emotional life

Suppose I told you not to argue with me, because those are the circumstances in which I turn against people

Then I come into my own. I have to.

As long as I get no credit

Please, be poilue

(Pause)

That far I can goThere are ways to be alive that haven't been explained

That's nonsense

(Pause)

We're discovered something

I'd like to be alive doubly

This doubled

(Pause)

Should I drink this?

Well-- be careful. It simplifies things

You're establishing that as the opposite of doubling things

Even if it doubles things, that's a simplification

(Pause)

Maybe I should aim at beauty instead of simplification

Ah, missed oportunities

I think I know how to turn that aroundA man comes into a room playing the role of an extraordinary human being. He closes the doors of a cabinet, forcefully`, before anything real has escaped.





The cabinet closes itself upon valuable objects

At the same time, a cloud covers the sun

At the same time, shoes turn to places no shoes have explored heretofore

At the same time, a woman kisses herself backwards

It has to be backwards

Why

If she was kissing herself

At the same time, a reason to give up hope, gives up on language itself

Let's see if kisses work

What do you mean-- work?

Well, if they get us sexually aroused

I'm sure they will

Well, let's find out

I think we can agree, wisdom hasn't really worked out

ßo finally, what gives you a kick. An emotional kick

Very little

(Pause)

I suppose, a certain quality of ight

And that's all

Yes. I'm afraid that's all

A certain quality of light

Yes

How sad

Well, it's not sad, it's just factual

(Pause)

Light

That's right

It's sad that a certain quality of light is the only thing that can give you an emotional kick

(Pause)

Well, if you think about it, it isn't sad at all

I don't know. I think it's sad

Well. Probably it seems sad to someone who doesn't get that particular kick

Right

(Pause)

I get my kick from experience

What kind

h, experience with other people

Sexual?

That kind too

(Pause)

As a matter of fact, even light-- even that, has worn out. There's no longer any real kick

Then I'd better gop

Why

(Pause)

It's too depressing

Funny, I don't feel anything deprerssing

That's because you don't feel anything at all

True

That's depressing

(Tries door)

Unlock this

No

(Pause)

Then I'll have to use the other door

(Does, goes)I thought I understood

What

(Pause)

Here's what I want to do

What

Nothing

What you want to do is nothing

Nothing

Then you don't want to "do" anything

Nothing

Are we talking about the same thing?

We're probably evading all possible catagories.Guess who I am when I am doing the talking

I'm more interested in who you are when you are not doing talking

(Pause)

When I am not doing talking. . .

Who is it.

Could I show you one of my favorite disguises?

Yes

(Drawer-- coat on)

Now you're wearing the coat

Is that the only difference?

Yes

I thought I wasn't talking

Ah, I appologize for making you answer a question

I must have had it in mind to be a certain amount of deceptive

You probably were uring me into areas I wouldn't go into myself

See this coat?

(Twists)

Yes

(Pause)

Then what you see is the real me.

(Goes, sits sprawled)

It looks expensive

Guess what. It was a gift

What you're telling me is that you don't know about it's expensiveness

That's right

Then you can respond with silence

Correct

But you didn't

(Pause)

I didn't what

What I want from you is not something I can identify

That's because you're not in control of your on actions

Who is in control of them

Everybody else

Not just you

Of course not

(Pause)

I haven't met everybody

No need to

I haven't read about everybody, of seen everybody even from a dtsance. But of course it's true, everybody effects everybody else, so eventually everybody is effected. I see what you mean

Now-- who's coat is this?

(Looks in drawer)

Mine

ow much did it cost

I forget

Ah, that's an acceptable answer

(Holds head)

Oh my God--

It just hit?

It certainly has

What's just hit

Can you imagine all the things I've forgotten in the course of a lifetime?

They're probably still in there someplace

(Looks up)

Let's try to be a little more interesting to each other

OK

(Thinks)

Let's try to make what we say-- reflect that.

(Long pause, sits. Looks)

I've decided the best way to fulfil your newly stated desire, is to let music come from my mouth, rather than language.

(Holds up hand to stop other)

Now-- you are about to ask-- what's the difference, and I reply-- here's the difference

(Shakes head)

I don't understand

And that, of course, changes-- nothing

All right. Nothing

Nothing

I'd better not say anything

I'd hate to misrepresent you to myself

--Did I give you that possibility?

No. I didn't think before I said it

Then it was my fault

I can hardly ignore you if you stay in the same room as me.

Oh, I'm not staying long

Is that a self-fulfiling prophesy that works immediately

Not immediately

(Pause)

Where's the escape route

Don't think I have that figured out yet

Thank goodness--

You'd hate being left alone?

No. But\ other peop,e with a fantastic degree of self-confidence make me suffocate

You could turn that around

I don't understand

You could be the one with the selfv confidence

(Pause)

As a pretense

Nobody else would know if it was a pretense

Why are you encouraging this

Figure it out

(Pause)

It's my escape routeIf God--

That's totally irrelevent

How so?

To my life.

(Pause. Enter God)

Whi the hell is this?

You didn't recognize him, or her?

It's a him

How can you be sure

It's true, since that's part of the recognition problem. I can't be sure.

(Music rises, on floor in supplication)I bless you for the following reason. For your stupidity in wanting to understand.


I am trying like hell to think of something to say something that will completely disorient you, so that you will be forced, by necessity, to be re-constituted. So you will rise from the floor into new being

Pause)

I see that this is not the time or place in which I will be able to accomplish this. So. Let's have something to drink

(Pause)

Get up

This could be part of your technique

Ah, yes.

(pause)

In the meantime, have something to drink

(Offered, taken)

Cheers

I'm a charlaten

Possibly

What can you hope to learn from such a person.

Well . . I'll find out.I can't belioeve myself. This is confusing. If I can't believe myself, who am I talking to.

Ah. Then talking doesn't equate with belief

I don't think so.OK. What's your approach. How do you organize your mental apparatus

I try not to

Nonsense

OK. I try for incohgenerce

Wrong

You mean-- because you understand me

Yes

But you didn't

(Pause)

Everything I say is incoherent

It sounds like normal english

It is

(Pause)

Is normal english incoherent

No

Well?

(Pause)

On one level, I speak normal english. But look closer

I think I've done that

Wrong

(Pause)

Should I take out my magnifying glasses?Something about my visionary qualities generally upsets people

You see into the future?

Look, I can't even locate the future

Then what's this visionary stuff?

You tell me

You made the claim

That's just it. I make the claim, then you give it reality

(Pause)

That's an unusual approach

See?

What

You're doing what you're supposed to do

Can I do otherwise?

No

That's your contribution, I suppose

Right

I can't do otherwise

(Other, out flask)

What's that

It keeps me on track

What is it

It's something that's supposed to make you think I'm on something

I do


Alternately, I can use it to polish the furniture

OK. My furniture needs polishing

(Polished)

Now. See if you can find your reflection in this polished surface

Here goes

(Pause)

I'm glad you didn't move

Are you glad I didn't find my reflection?

Don't kid yourself

Why

You found it

Without recognizing it?

Of course, if you'd been able to recognize it, it wouldn't be you

(drinks)

Does that help you to recognize your reflection?

I don't need help

Born that way?

Not yet, thank goodness

Ah, what's the name of this particular limbo?

Limbo

(Pause)

How do you cross the line

(Other looks, exits)

Please. Come back?

(Pause, goes, it's locked)

Well, since this door is locked, I'll try the other

(Goes to other, exits)

This is an avenue I've tried

Try again

Knock at some of the same doors?

Well, if you can find another door, knock at that door

(Pause)

I'm already confused enough

By choice

No. When I said 'avenue' you understood, I didn't mean a literal avenue

Of course, or I wouldmn't have spoken in terms of non-literal doors

(Pause)

Nevertheless, there is a door

Yes. Quite unexceptional

(Pause)

This one-- you needn't knock before entering

I thought it was-- exiting

Yes, it depends which side of the door you feature

(Exits, returns) I'd say I went out

--I'd say you just came in

Yes, but that's after the fact

(Sits)

Isn't it interesting, you say nothing about what you encountered on the other side

It was perfectly ordinary

(pause)

You know, that other room, with the table, the two chairs, the lamp--

I've never been in there

You're kidding

No

(PAUSE)

Go ahead

Well, you described it so beautifully, I don't feel the necessity

Maybe I left something out

(Pause)

Even if you have, from the description you gave, I conclude that it's probably uninteresting

(Pause)

Even if a few uninteresting details were left out of the description

I'd better check

(. Pause)(Goes)

(Pause)

Ah-- did you discover something more interesting than you originally thought?

(Pause. Rises, goes also. Pause)The word flow stopped at the base of my spine. That means, the world stopped. When the world stopped, I stopped. But the other way around. When the word flow stopped, the world stopped

I erased words, and they multiplied. This was my way of being strong

These are two important things, even though I do not understand them. I will pack my bag and go

Which bag is this

Here

It looks to me like your bag is already full

Yes. In fact this is true

What is it full with

It is full of words I've written down so that I will be able to use them later when I am in life

How odd, the words I write down are different than the words I use in life

What words do you use in life?

These

(Pause)

I know these words

(Pause)

When I write something down, I try to semi-erase each word as it hits the paper

I don't undersatand

(Pause)

If enough time passes, then you'll understand perfectly

I can't have faith in this

That's not necessaryWhy do I take you seriously

Tell me

(Pause)

Your image is comical

Yes

By choice?

Your question

You put me in a position where I possess nothing but questions

Of course. I bestow riches. I am, therefore, poverty stricken

No

(pause)

Is it because you can't believe anything I say that you find me comical

I believe everything you say

Hey-- this is serious business

That's comical

Coming from me?

I don't know if it comes from you

Then you're right. It's not comical at all

How can I be right if I have only questions

You answered your own question. (Gets stick)

What should I do with this stick

(Pause)

Which of us should receive a blow from this stick

(puts away)

Why did you put it away

Why do you think I took it out

(Pause)

The effect was comical

And was the result comical

No

How can I make you laugh

(Smiles)

I never laugh

(Stops as other points)

Why are you pointing at me

You smiled

On purpose

When does a smile turn into a laugh

In my case it doesn't

(Pointed to)

All right, I admit that on rare occasions I laugh

Then you were perfectly right to say I never laughCan an idea, which is thought by no one, be said to exist.

(One points)

There is an idea for which I am searching. And this idea has not yet been thought, so some opinion is, the idea does not exist. But it does exist, undiscovered, and it pulls me-- though I know not its shape or the direction of its thrust, except that one direction of its thrust is through me, though I have not yet determined this direction

We are here to search for this idea, which exists, but which we know not.

(Pause)

I have a better idea. This is my better idea. We will not search for this idea, which no one has yet thought. Because we will understand it is an idea that is unthinkable, though yet still an idea, but an idea that no human being can think. We will simply-- know that it exists and thereby change our lives

How will we change our lives?

The answer is incomprehensible

Perhaps that's why the idea to which we point is also incomprehensibleThis "thing"




Is this possible?



What seems less than possible (is).





My language will amaze you


What's empty, and in this thing. No. I mean-- what's in this empty thing. No-- I mean, what's this thing that is empty.

I'll give you the following amount of money for this painting.What do you think?

You did it for me. I am not capable of doing what you have done

Is that true?

I am about to become famous. I am about to know fame by pretending to myself that I am the one who painted your painting that you painted

But I painted it

No, I am pretending to myself that I painted it.

You can remember that to yourself after it has been painted, but you can't remember it during the doing of the painting because I was doing to doing of it

The doing of it is not important. The having done it is what is important and I can equally imagine having done it to your imagining having done it

(Pause)

This is true

It is a great achievement of mine to have you say-- at the end of things-- this is true

Perhaps this is always tue at the end of things

(Pause)

The amount of money I give you is changed

Now there is no amount of money I shall give you

(Enters)

This is certainly a painting to enjoy that you have in your house

I have it in my house and I am enjoying it. You can enjoy it, but you cannot enjoy it on as many levels as I can enjoy it

Is that because it is in your house rather than in my house?

Yes. That is the main reason

A powerful reason

My power is in my powerful reason, which is something I can enjoy to an excellent degreeDo yopu know everything about me?

Not quite

(Pause)

Then you know lots about me

Everyone knows lots about everyone else, but on the wrong basis

Then you know nothing about me

Not true. I know everything about you that you know about yourself. Now-- how much is that

(Pause)

It's a loaded question

Well then, give the appropriate answer

(Pause)

Maybe I'll just think about this

Right. We'll each retreat into our private world

Ah, you can't be too careful

(Pause)

I wonder which one of us really said thatI say 3-- we start to revolve

1-2-

(Gestures for other to speak)

3!

(They whirl. Each stops-- phased)

I didn't say anything about stopping

That was your mistake

I'm the idea man. I don't have any

Then how can you be the idea man

(Pause)

By having an idea

Let's think about this

Too tale

Why?

I already had an idea that wasn't perminant

This I do not underatand

Ah-- there's your escape route

Please! Let me fill my own mental space by myself

Even if I'm suffocating?

Why are you suffocating.

(Pause)

I have a responsibility to my own mental apparatus

That's a mistake

(Pause)

True enough. No ideas and I'm suddenly flexable

It was supposed to be my technique

These ideas must be in the air--

Invisible

Yes.

(Pause)

If they weren't invisible. they wouldn't be ideas, would they

I have no idea

(arms out)

See through me?

I can try it out

(Turns into wall)

I don't think I'm needed in here

(exit)You hurt my eyes

(Pause)

I desire you to that extent

Cover your eyes against me

Will you cover your eyes for me using your own hands.

(pause)

Tell me how to find you

Ah, am I invisible

Where am I

Where am I

(Pause)

I'm at the other end of the corridor which connects two parts of the room. But I can see you

I can see you also

Using your eyes

Yes

Which do disolve me

My eyes disolve you. Is it painful?

Of course

Where is the pain

Our eyes reach each other into the past we still are. That past is the pain

I'm willing to share it

Impossible

(Pause)

Your eyes, inside of which I thought there was nothing, and now there is my own self, looking at me-- and it is painful to have my own vision self-ripped from my insides so it can look at me from a distance which is like a knife

When I looked at you, I cut you like a knife

As your eyes met mine, yes. Like a knife

(Pause)

And blood flows from that wound?

Yes it does

Would it be possible to extract from the head, these four eyes that belong ensemble to the two of us, and bring them together, physically, in the space between us, and grind them together so the look, like a knife, cuts into itself and the space that doesn't exist is conquored

(Pause)

The look. Everything in the look

But it only exists by distance

Yes

If you pressed your face against mine, so the eyes were glued to each other-- then the look and the pain no longer exist, and everything between us goes dead.

¥es. It would go dead

I would go dead

(Pause)

Let's look away from each other

(done)

I remember your eyes

I remember your eyes also

__________________________

I can't see your eyes because I am looking into your eyes and whirling

(pause)

I am on a precise point, drilled into that point which could be myself and could be my other self

Undress

You mean, cover myself with my body, to protect myself from the knife of the eye

Yes, I mean that

Yes, I mean that

(Pause)

I am afraid

Why

Because every time I catch your gaze and return it, the same thing happens to me

Describe it

My vanishing could kill me

Is that why you don't describe it

No, that's my description. I want to hold my chect to make sure it doesn't fly away from me

(She holds her own)

It's still flying

Yes. It's still flying

(Pause)

I don't want to be sick

I don't want to be sick either

(Both exit)

__________________ (returns, sets up easle. Other in)

What are you doing

If I paint you, perhaps I'll be able to destroy you

(draws)

It has the opposite effect

(Destroys image. They put on panels. Come together and make love with panels on)

Nothing works

(They put out eyes)

Free at last. Free at last.

(On dark glasses)

I wasn't prepared, when you looked into my eyes for the first time and I fell down

I didn't see you fall down

That was because you fell down also

I don't remember falling down

That was because I fell down

What happened

(Pause)

Our eyes locked

(Pause)

Could it have happened by accident

It could only happen by accident. I wasn't prepared

What else could happen by accident

Everything that happens couldhappen by accident, but it only happens by acident--

--I know

(Pause)

Accidently

I try

Nevery try

Look at me

No

Look at me

It won't happen

(Looks)

Are you looking at me

Yes

Look into my eyes

How much should I move?

(Pause)

I should move myself so that I can look into your eyes.

(Turns)

Look at nothing

A moment ago I was looking at the back of your head

Into my head?

No. The head stopped me

Now, are you looking inside it?

Yes. Two black dots

Those are holes into the brain

Those are your eyes. Well, in fact I can only look into one at a time.

It's a hole into nothing.

(Pause)

Or say rather, it's a hole, and a hole is nothing

I thought you were saying your brain is nothing

True in many ways . At least, if you look into it, you aren't looking into what it does, which is what it is, really. It is . . .what it does.

I can't use a hole to look into that

Possibly

Ah, is that the brain itself?

That's what's doing the talking when you look into a hole-- did you see the newspaper?

Today's newspaper?

( fumble for paper)

(Pause)

Of course

I haven't seen it

If you look into today's newspaper, you'll find information concering the new law.

What new law?

There's a law, that from now on, all conversation must take place with the conversing parties looking directly into the right eye of the person with whom they're having a conversation

That's an impossible law to enforce

It's the law

I don't believe it

It's the law.

(Pause)

What's the punishment if the law is disobeyed

(takes his shoulders)

It's the law.

Basically, your eyes are two holes

We said that

Except I see one at a time

You look into one at a time

If the law of looking into one at a time--

--The right eye, by the way--

--If it's broken, the punishment is that the shell or crust or personality of the other person, rules, in the relationship: that immediately becomes one of disruptive contestation. But if one looks into the hole that is the right eye--

There's nothing

--words are less necessary

Occasional words

Tumbling; rolling in the head.

The word isn't in the head.

Nothing's in the head

(Pause)

Look what's in this cabinate

What is it?.

The script

What script?

The script of this play

(Pause)

Put it back

No

(Sits and reads)

What does it say?

Well, among other things, it says the words you just spoke

Yours too?

Of course, mine too

And then my response to that

(J speaks in concert)

--and on and on and so forth. Whether you're reading it or not. (Pause, back to first speaker (B) alone)

Since that's the case

What's the case

Since it's all there already

Yes

--You don't have to say 'yes, I accept it.' My point is, since it's all down there already, maybe it's not necessary for me to--

(thinks)

-- no, that's not what I want to say--

Yes it is

(Pause)

What I want to say, what I meant to say next, and do say, is that if we read from the script, even indirectly, since what we're saying is already determined by the script, it might be better, to read directly from the script, rather than being indirectly controlled, while being in the middle of what WE thought was the personal stress and strain of saying something

But if we read from the script, we couldn't look into the void of each other's eyes

The right eye is controlled by the left side of the brain which is the language center

Right

(Pause)

The language center is the script. It contains the language

Right

Ok. If we read from the script, it's the same as looking into the hole of the eye, into the nothing of the brain, through which the script-- speaks.

(Pause: bell)

If we both reach for the script, we turn into nothing for each other, and the spoken, dynamites the shell of your character and my character both.

(Pause, gets text)

Here's my copy of the script.

What about gestures.

What about gestures?

Are they allowed and/or desirable.

(Pause)

I can answer my own question. I believe gestures are not desirable, because they are a way of re-covering one's self with external character; which is counter to the tendency of the script itself which is to speak from the real void that's the source, in fact.

(Both with scripts into face)

I can't read like this, the script is too close to my face.

Nevertheless, you know what to say.

I don't know what to say. I just say what rises in me to say

Why does that seem so appropriate?

Sometimes it seems appropriate. Sometimes it seems very wide of the mark

(script down)

It is nevertheless, always appropriate

(script down)

Is that a fact?

That's a fact.

Then I have two choices. Holding the script so close I can't read it, turns what I say into a void, assuming I'm reading from a script I can't possibly see.

No. That's the other choice

What is?

Think about it

The other choice is somebody looking into somebody's empty eyes.

Didn't you repeat yourself?

(Pause)

Lots

I think I object to that.

Take me as I am.

I can't .

Why not

You're hiding from me.

No, I'm not hiding from you. You've just made me invisible. That's what happened

How could that happenWhen Mary gave a kiss to Phil

It wrinkled up his pants

It felt as if the legs inside

Began to do a dance.

The fingers in his pockets

Had an awful time because

They twisted in a tangle that

Was breaking many laws.

The cop who put a stop to that

Was nowhere to be seen

So Phil himself was left alone

To wipe those fingers clean.

And when the job was finished he

Could only hope with pride

A non-participant would be

The next to step inside.

But as the window opened he

Began tio feel a breeze

And Mary jumped upon his back

As violent as you please.

She chose her weapon carefully

--A candy covered rake,

And sweeping up the leaves

She made the ultimate mistake.

She turned them all to fire that

Would burn until the trees

Were empty and were bending down

To beg upon their knees.

Oh trees unbend and straighten up

Is just what Phil exclaimed.

It's Mary who should be the one

That history should have blamed.

But history wasn't anywhere

In sight-- it must have fled,

And Mary and a friendly Phil

Both tucked themselves in bed.

The kisses that they both exchanged

Were somehow upside down

And Mary had the sweetest way

Of making Philip frown.

A frown deserves a kiss of course

And soon the game was up

And Phil and Mary, side by side

Were taken in a truck

Away to where the flowers and

Potatos side by side

Were eaten by the animals

Who's hunger conquored pride.

And when the feast was finished

All the animals sat down

And cried --We'd rather keep our claws,

In case we're stuck in town.

But as at night

The gates were locked

The animals were left

To wander in the woods in which

The human beings slept.

And all alone

They climbed the tree

Of promises well-kept.

And there upon the highest branch

Apparently quite tall,

They started very slowly

The anticipated fall.

Oh Humans falling slowly

Through the kingdom of the kiss

You should have seen

Quite long ago

That something was amiss.

But since you didn't notice that,

Continue, have your fun.

There's miles to go,

and hours to play

Before your day is done.I fell into you

I fell into you

(Pause)

I'm falling

(Pause, turns away)

Human beings cxan't go inside each other, can they

No

There is no way for one human being to enter another human being

(Pause)

Every way has been tried and no way works

(Pause)

Give up

I give up

No. You haven't really given up. f you realy gave up-- it would transform you

Come to me

No. Give up

I give up

(Pause)

You haven't given up

Have you?

No

Why

It's hard

(Pause)

I don't know if it's something you can do on purpose

It's like an accident

Yes

(Pause)

Once upon a time, I wanted to fuck somebody. But it hadn't happened yet, and I threw myself down on the bed with a feeling of giving up. At that moment-- everything changed, as if a switch had been thrown, the basis of my consciousness changed as if I'd been hit with an electrical charge and painlessly burned to nothing.

IT was as if my head had been replaced with a glass sphere six feet in diameter, and everything in the outside world was seen by me as tiny images on that sphere, but those images projected as if from the inside, as if their real source was inside me. And at the same time, all my frustration and anger and unhappiness was also projected onto that sphere, as if all that were outside me instead of inside me.

And I was inside the emptiness of my eye, or of somebody else's eye, and this was accompanied by a feeling of joy and light and happiness that had no equal in my whole life. Except maybe, for a second, when our eyes locked and we looked into each other's nothingness. But that was just a faint. . .copy. . .of this other experience I never had again.

It must have been an accident.

(They dress in panels and eyes, and dance)
In the middle of my life, I travelled to where the beautiful woman waited for me

In what kind of room did she wait

The light had faded, it was so dim in that room, I could no longer tell if she was beautiful

If indeed the light had faded, are you absolutely certain she was still in that room

No, I am not sure of that

Is she in this room now

No

Isn't it possible, with your eyes closed, it may be that she is here and you can't see her

Should I open my eyes

Not necessarily

I feel certain, she is not here

(Goes, other to mirror

Open your eyes

(Pause)

You see? She's not hereYou, you, you

(She covers her ears)

You are a door I dare not open

(Ears uncovered)

You are a door I dare not open

Why

It closes

No-- you said--

I know what I said. By opening it-- I close it

Don't I have something to say about it

No. Nobody says anything accurate about the use the world makes of them

(Pause)

Suppose I'd rather not be used

We are used

I think I'll withdraw

You will still be used, because I have seen you, and having seen you, I stand, inside myself, in front of a door

Open it

No.

If I ache. from being near you, where is that ache

(Pause)

How can there be an ache in my heart, since I am aware of it in my head, only when I am awake to it

Are you imagining me in your arms?

Well-- yes, but the ache is in my eyes

When I look into your eyes?

No, when I am denied that

(Pause)

So the ache must be in your eyes

Yes

Let me feed you

No. To be fed, is to be closer to death

(Turns away)

To suffer this ache, which is in the eyes, is to be alive, which hurts

Before you saw me, did it hurt

Before I saw you, I was asleep. The unfortunate thing is that human beings can function in sleep. Once awake, they no longer functionI think you're comitted to something I'm not comitted to

Liar

I think-- through you, a door opens

I don't feel like a door, and I don't think I look like a door

No. You look very much like a door

(Pause)

Do I have hinges on one side

Yes. You pivot

How

I approach you-- I look towards you as you turn in space and I see that part-- this thing in you that stops me

Stops you from what

(Pause)

Your beauty stops me

I am not that beautiful

You are beautiful because when I look at you, I am convinced of the conection on some level between your physical appearance and the posited existence thereby of paradise

This is convincing proof that you are beautiful

It depends on your vision of paradise

Of course it does

(Pause)

But I am a door

I do not know how to pass through you into that paradise you reflect. I know from experience that simply joining my life to yours, or even entering you partially through sexual acts-- I do not enter. I close the door, perminantly. I destroy what I reach for

(Pause) They you'll have to worship me from a distance

It hurts

(Pause)

Are you looking for a key?

Of course I'm looking for a key

(Pause)

I'm trying to turn you into a mirror

You think I'm a door, but you try to turm me into a mirror

I'd never thought of it like that but it just occired to me

Ah, that means a door must have opened, just a tiny bit

(Pause)

Please, come into my arms

You said that would be a mistake

Yes, I did

(Pause)

You believe I'm peverse enough to embrace something I think is bent on self destruction

Maybe it's a test

Do you forsee all resluts?

Whatever the results are, I doubt I'll be able to interpret them

(Embrace, kiss- break)

OK. What happened

I won't know until I'm in paradise

Some people would say-- we are

I still won't know until I'm there-- even if I'm there

Another kiss?

(Pause)

Yes

You waited just a few seconds too long

(She exit)

Now that I'm alone, can I think any more clearly.

(Pause)

No. I have no power of thought. So let's see what chance produces.

I don't want to see anything.

I see-- easily. I see everything easily. I don't want this to happen. I don't want so much of the material of my life coming through my eyes.

I want it coming through the ears

You want your life to be a radio

I do. I want my life to be a radio

Is it

No

What is it


Why do I want to look at you more then at other people

You have to say

You're beautiful. But there are other people just as beautiful and I don't have the same need to look at them

(Pause)

Blnd me

Don't say that

Blind me so I no longer have to look at you and feel terrible

Why do you feel terrible

(Pause)

Because I want to loom at you and I can't enough. However much I look at you it is not enough

Don't look at me

I have to

Why

Blind me

That doesn't say why.

I do like you

Then who do you hide behind that barrier

(Pause)

To be able to like you

Then you don't like me

I do

No. What that barrier says to me, is you don't like me

When thought rises

it lifts stones.

When thought ends

stones multiply


On that basis, I should love you

I do love you

Are you speaking for me?

I had the thought to speak for you

Then you don't love me after all

Let's put it this way. I can THINK about loving youWhy am I not happy

What you do not understand my boy-- is the way in which each moment of life must be grounded in a moment of death

Will this make me happy?

Goodness, no

Then I refuse your contribution

It was no contribution

(Pause)

Will facing death make me happy?

What do you mean by 'facing'

I don't know

(Pause)

The words just came

Facing death is meaningless(say only memorable things)



I am now in the center of things where everything is fluid. Yet I hold to my human form, even though, being at the center of things I can no longer be said to be completely human

Am I looking upon a God?

Yes. This is true

But you seem human

I am a God, but in the shape of a human being

I can no longer believe this

Why

Because your God-like nature swamps every trace of the human

(to say only memorable things)

Your abilities shock me

My ability to do what.

(The opposite of what I expect)

The opposite exists by necessity, and since it's a necessity, it sinks to the bottom of things which is called oblivion

Continue to exist. Exist me.

This is a carressWhat I see before my eyes is an image which vibrates. And in so vibrating-- it receeds as it advances also

It is the snake of paradise. An image which comes to me as I glance at the book lying on the table next to the couch upon which I, also, recline

This vibrating snake, is; above all/Thought is now facing something imense, and is therefore wiped out



There are moments to be filled

(Pause)

But; suppose they are not filled. What then?

(Pause)

Everything stops.

That does not however, mean that death rules. Death is the shadow cast by the attempt to fill moments. If the moments are not filled, well-- the shadow of death simply disolves

Prove it

That proves it

What

You were trying to fill a moment

You too, since you answered me

Right. But I'm ready to die

I'm not

Right

(Pause)

In fact I was lying. I'm not ready to die

We'll have to find out, won't we.