I wanted to go buy a record. I needed a little magestic something
in my life. But my eyes hurt. But I felt inside a shell. My head
What would happen if I was opened to this magesty-- either I'd
ruin it, or it would kill me. '
illed by great music". We're talking Mozart here. Instead-- lunch? That's another possibility. Oh, I wish I was back in France! Of course, if I was, my problems wouldn't be any different. I'd still be bored. Translate that into this layer covering the head, not covering the head, but covering the individual organs of the head: Let's see-- eyes, brain, inner nose-- inside the ears, lots of things I can't locate or name, that's what the music would have to go to work on but would it be effective? No. I'm sure it wouldn't. But there is still this powerful, powerful, drivenness, to get out and purchase the goddamn record. The goddman morsal of greatness which I shall no doubt, reduce to the level of background atmosphere! No more atmosphere! No more nostalgia! But alas, I'm not strong enough to pull it off.A tree shaking with birds. Now this is something it might be worthwhile to construct. Each individual bird would have to vibrate independently, and that would, then, effect the tree. It would be eterenal christman-- no, I stole that idea-- but I didn't steal the first one, the one about the tree and the birds and the shaking.
I am that tree. Where are, locatable, those birds. They are not me, they are not visible. But they are at work.Oh my God! The agony of the truth.
The agony of the truth is that my unproductive, sterile moments,
are the moments that feed me, that justify my existence, that
bring me the kind of irritable frustration that leads to a slow
circling around a new idea that because of my stasis-- has time
and space to grow, not as mine but as itself.
The productive moments produce only vanity, fill me with a vigor
This is the truth
This is why suffering is unavoidableAre you afraid of me?
Are you speaking for the entire collection of people surrounding
I thought I was alone
You are unknown to me
How is that possible?
How. What is the effort I must make in order to believe such a
Just like that. Careful.Can you stop the pain
Why should I do that
It's desirable for me to have pain stopped
Can you locate it
But it's pain
Something inside you quivers
Yes. It's resonating
How can I stop what you can't locate
By changing it's location
Ah, I can utilize an imaginary focus
I like that ideaHaving lost control of my body-- the ideas which fill mu mind-- which is of course a part of my body, are but pale fluid.
Now, how can this sad fact be exploited. What newness herein can be made to reveal itself by some new, practically effortless stratagy.
I wait, but nothing comes. And --is that the pearl? Can I let
that nothing revolve in the empty space of my stasis, and that
nothing revolves and polishes itself--?
Pearl, pearl of great value, I do, you, evoke.
Look at the void between my mental fingers. Ah, It's the entire-- void-of-the-world. Welcome Master. May I serve you?
I know if I wait long enough, just a little patience, you'll answer
What's hidden in this
You see? You don't believe me
I believe you, but I need help.
If you need help-- what's hidden vanishes
But as far as I'm concerned, that's already invisible
Don't you make a distinction between invisible and hidden?
I didn't help
I think you helped by asking the right question
Ah, you speak from the position of one who knows
Let's start again
What's hidden in this
Maybe it's not
Let's think about that by closing our eyes
It's not true that I can't see anything, of course
Of course. Open your eyes
Now, what's hidden?
I had an urge to say "Ah', but I decided to swallow my own
Interesting. Is a word spoken, swalled as a matter of fact
Interesting. I think so
Was that my idea or your idea
Let's come to an agreement
We won't speak about things that are hidden
Right. We won't do what we can't help doing
(Up. Hesitate, shake, exit)He who reads the book of life goes
in multiple directions. Often there is a pause, or gap, in the
reading. Life goes on, but is not read.
It slides away from one, as it were
I'm ready to catch what slips through.
What slips through where?
Something significant could happen at any minute
If it happens, I'm ready to mentally record it
That sounds like somebody participating in life only half way
How can you say that?
Think about it.
(Are you in love?)Love is confusing to me
Not to me
Liar. You're in a state of perpetual confusion
I suppose I am
And what causes that?
(Only because I love you
I don't know if I can return that love
I know that
Is that why you're in a state of confusion?
Then I'm confused
I am too, --but I'm not confused
Ah, that's love after all
Then you share my point of view
Suppose that sometimes we agree, sometimes we don't agree-- it's
bound to be like that
Then we agree
Well, perhaps you're right after all
Now don't patronize me
That's the furthest thing from my mindNothing to do. Nothing to
do. I'll just sit here
I don't understand this "nothing to do".
Well, certain things in the course of my life have engaged me.
Now they don't
Nothing to do
Right. Nothing to do.I can't be here if you're here
It's happening like you said it couldn't happen
For a minute I didn't recognize you
That's pretty insulting
I hope somebody else intrudes
Well, the door's never been locked--
That must be how I got in here
My invitation was no mistake
Could I see?
(She out letter, gives it)
This is my handwriting
Well I hope so
As a matter of fact, these are my real sentiments
Could I have that back?
I better keep this a secret
You forget, I already read the letter
Can you remember everything about it?
That's not why I want it back
I'll make a deal-- when I've committed it to my memory-- then
you can have it back.
(other opens, reads)
How long is this going to take?
Ah, it's not very polite to turn my back on you, is it.How far
can I go with you
But you better keep your distance
This particular head has nothing inside
Do you think other heads--
You didn't let me finish my sentence
See? You admit it was full and you were trying to empty it
Did I say that?
Then you were projecting it into me, so you weren't empty after
I was using you to give myself the illusion
Can't you imagine how much I dislike being used?
Don't tell me this territory hasn't been previously explored
You wouldn't recognize it
Then we have a problem
Somplace inside me a door must have been left open
(Pause, shuts something)
That's your problem, but it isn't my problem
Don't tell me there isn't a link between us, because if that was
true we wouldn't be holding a conversation
A conversation is one escape mechanism I'd rather not use
ow that I'm alone I can tell the truth about things
Well-- about everything but myself
(Gets book. Opens)
My God. This book says it all
What book are you reading
Are you trying to hide it from me?
No. I just didn't want to be impolite by seeming to be involved
with something else when you came into the room
Instead, you find a different way to be impolite
Tell me, and I correct myself
Show me the book
You probably won't find it as interesting as I did
(Reads, looks up)
I can make head or tails of this
(Gives it back)
Read it to me
Read it out loud?
Yes. If I hear it, I might comprehend better than just listening
All the words are run together so it's just letter after letter
ad infinitum. I don't know how to pronounce that
But you read it to yourself?
Well-- I just projecy into it my own meanings
Ah, you've been keeping secrets
You own meanings
I don't think so
That's why I left a minute ago, and that's why I'm about to repeat
What I do is perfectly normal
You get one more chance
To do what?
(A brief pause. Goes)
Should I go back to the book? I don't think so. I think I was
just fooling myself
I didn't expect you
Let me see the book
(Given, puts on shelf)
Now let's see if you can find what I've hidden in plain sight
(Looks around, no success)
Well-- you win
No I don't
I don't know where I put it
(Both close eyes. Whirl)
Well. We thought getting dizzy would help
--But it doesn't
I don't know-- maybe it helped
Right. I feel-- a little more normal at least.
(They shake hands) (with saw)
This may hurt somebody, but pain is the way in which people acquire
knowledge, so hurting isn't what happens. So it won't hurt
I thought you were going to sAw wood, but now that I realize
you're going to saw my arm. I'm in the process of detaching myself
from that too.
Here it is
Ah, is that another one of my arms?
Yes, the only problem is --it's already been sawed off apparently
You were perfectly right. It didn't hurtMaybe I'm waiting for
it to rain
This is unpredictable
Then I go to the window and tell you, Oh, it's raining
This is not important to me
Not importamnt to me.The writing you're on the verge of writing
--How did you know that?
It's the only problem, isn't it?
How are you going to get what is inside you, outside of you
That shouldn't be a proble,
I don't see that hand being used
Ah, I have a problem with the hand
What is the problem
You should exercise it
What I'm cut off from is the utter bafflement with things that
heretofore-- drives me/
You are no longer baffled by things
Right. That's what I've achieved. utter sterility
Well, it's true. Nothing is a mysteru in the face of genuine pain
Shoul;d we get on with the sawing?
Might as well.I am one of those people who can control nothing.
Life has to seize me-- then my twisting and turning is both evocative
and highly unusual, but if I try to make things happen, in contrast,
all is banility
Another way of saying this is to say-- if I have a plan, what results from that plan is less vital and less interesting than what results if I have no plan, and the storm of life simply strands me on some heretofore unrecognizeable island
Utter incoherence, that's what I persue
I refuse to tell you why
Then why tell me what you persue
Because I want to
It's true I suppose, to persue what one wants in each moment,
is to persue incoherence
Is it about to rain?
I don't see why it should
Then this is ioncoherent
The light outside, as I look through the window, persuAdes me
that rain is in the air
That is incoherent, I agree
I don't see how you can agree with incoherence, because that would
mean understanding it
I understand the position from which it is launched
Ah, then I've failed
But failure is impossible
I agreeCarpets cove the floor. This is normal
Feet mention the idea of direction
A car spins into history
Roads less traveled becomes colorful. This is normal
Normal people notice themselves for bizzare reasons.I see lots
of writing --
--Is it of any interest that material has been written down?
This is a nothing interesting. This "What has been written"
is a peripheral convcern at best.
Who could imagine I'd end up liking you
But you're nothing like me at all.
Come to think of it, I am.
Is that why you like me?
I'm hesitating because I only like to say things that seem wise. Except, to be honest, that was a year ago.
(Pause. other winds clock?)
Do you want me to explain what happened in the last year?
I stopped being interested in wisdom, which now, in its manifestations,
seems to me-- well, let me search for the word. . .
I see you haven't found it
No. That's my particular stab at poignancy
Not being able to find the word?
(pause) Not being able to offer up one more nugget of wisdom
Exactly. Or-- more or less
Ah, falling back into old habits
You're refering to that tacked on "More or less"?
I can't take it back
It's out there
It's more or less out there
You succeeded in vulgarizing it
More or less
I admit, that's why I like you
If it haden't been for my example, you never would have understood
the stupidity of wisdom, right?
I'm like you
If it haden't been for me, I couldn't have been where I am now
(Shake hands, both exit)
Did I leave some writing?
I think I'll put this in the trash
(Exit. Other in, snoops about, other peeks in)
Looking for something?
I wanted to see what you'd written
It was worthless
Are you the best judge?
Oh, I'm not talking about my own particular efforts, I'm just
saying it was worthless. Do you appreciate the difference?
Is it raining?
Let's go to the window
We can see it from here
It's not raining
Once again, you hit it right on the button
You mean I'm right
Then say so
You're right. It was worthless
(Holds out papers he's been hiding)
We don't need that
(Throws out window)
If it does start raining--
--There'll be a clump of wet papers.
That's why I like you
These things happen
Nobody controls it
Like the weather
Yes. I like the weather
(Shake hands. Exit)
Stupidity is discovered to hold great promise. My rooms are re-decorated.
The world comes full circle, in order not to be forgotten.
A blackboard is erased, and thereby thinks it redefines itself, not realizing somebody else rubbing it out.
A book turns its own pages. This is normalI want something from
I don't know what
The book from which wisdom has been drained.You won't believe
this of me. I am ruled by emotion
I can see that on your face
My God, I didn't know that
Of course. I can see it in the way you hold your body
What is my position
You're asking me to speak about something that escapes anguage
Well, your position is very consistent
I want to make a gift
This is my manuscript, from which I have drained all wisdom
Will I be able to fill it with my own emotions?
When you read it?
Who said anything about emotions
I know, but I can't control them
Well, I don't know if my book will appeal to you
It's what I want
I can't answer that until I've read it
Suppose you found it unreadable
So far, that's true
Here, let me put it in this locked cabinet
This is indeed, food for thought
Then you've misunderstood me completely
Wait a minute-- it was you, that was supposed to understand me.
I know. So let my failure be my failure, and yours-- well, I can't
speak to that. I can only register it in my mind and then, once
and for all, cast it out
Do I move differently now?
I couldn't say
You had certain opinions about my posture
I still do
What are they
I can't say
I thought maybe--
--I'd change my mind? Yes. but I can't talk about it
What kind of effect does it have on you
Hey-- did somebody say these lips were sealed?
Right. Not exactly. Therefore don't press me, or I'll turn into
a whole other person and that will be totally confusing
I don't mind.
Well, responding to that kind of insult, I may just force my way into this cabinet
It's really strong, isn't it.
I'm just as surprised as you are
(They embrace)Who asks
Asks. --Did I hear that correctly.
Now wait a minute
Are you in love
I can't believe what I asked
Maybe you were running from the truth
Am I the kind of person who runs away from the truth
Was I afraid
Wait a minute
I can't legislate for your own emotions
Suppose I told you I'm not in control of my emotional life
Suppose I told you not to argue with me, because those are the
circumstances in which I turn against people
Then I come into my own. I have to.
As long as I get no credit
Please, be poilue
That far I can goThere are ways to be alive that haven't been
We're discovered something
I'd like to be alive doubly
Should I drink this?
Well-- be careful. It simplifies things
You're establishing that as the opposite of doubling things
Even if it doubles things, that's a simplification
Maybe I should aim at beauty instead of simplification
Ah, missed oportunities
I think I know how to turn that aroundA man comes into a room
playing the role of an extraordinary human being. He closes the
doors of a cabinet, forcefully`, before anything real has escaped.
The cabinet closes itself upon valuable objects
At the same time, a cloud covers the sun
At the same time, shoes turn to places no shoes have explored heretofore
At the same time, a woman kisses herself backwards
It has to be backwards
If she was kissing herself
At the same time, a reason to give up hope, gives up on language
Let's see if kisses work
What do you mean-- work?
Well, if they get us sexually aroused
I'm sure they will
Well, let's find out
I think we can agree, wisdom hasn't really worked out
ßo finally, what gives you a kick. An emotional kick
I suppose, a certain quality of ight
And that's all
Yes. I'm afraid that's all
A certain quality of light
Well, it's not sad, it's just factual
It's sad that a certain quality of light is the only thing that
can give you an emotional kick
Well, if you think about it, it isn't sad at all
I don't know. I think it's sad
Well. Probably it seems sad to someone who doesn't get that particular
I get my kick from experience
h, experience with other people
That kind too
As a matter of fact, even light-- even that, has worn out. There's
no longer any real kick
Then I'd better gop
It's too depressing
Funny, I don't feel anything deprerssing
That's because you don't feel anything at all
Then I'll have to use the other door
(Does, goes)I thought I understood
Here's what I want to do
What you want to do is nothing
Then you don't want to "do" anything
Are we talking about the same thing?
We're probably evading all possible catagories.Guess who I am
when I am doing the talking
I'm more interested in who you are when you are not doing talking
When I am not doing talking. . .
Who is it.
Could I show you one of my favorite disguises?
(Drawer-- coat on)
Now you're wearing the coat
Is that the only difference?
I thought I wasn't talking
Ah, I appologize for making you answer a question
I must have had it in mind to be a certain amount of deceptive
You probably were uring me into areas I wouldn't go into myself
See this coat?
Then what you see is the real me.
(Goes, sits sprawled)
It looks expensive
Guess what. It was a gift
What you're telling me is that you don't know about it's expensiveness
Then you can respond with silence
But you didn't
I didn't what
What I want from you is not something I can identify
That's because you're not in control of your on actions
Who is in control of them
Not just you
Of course not
I haven't met everybody
No need to
I haven't read about everybody, of seen everybody even from a
dtsance. But of course it's true, everybody effects everybody
else, so eventually everybody is effected. I see what you mean
Now-- who's coat is this?
(Looks in drawer)
ow much did it cost
Ah, that's an acceptable answer
Oh my God--
It just hit?
It certainly has
What's just hit
Can you imagine all the things I've forgotten in the course of
They're probably still in there someplace
Let's try to be a little more interesting to each other
Let's try to make what we say-- reflect that.
(Long pause, sits. Looks)
I've decided the best way to fulfil your newly stated desire, is to let music come from my mouth, rather than language.
(Holds up hand to stop other)
Now-- you are about to ask-- what's the difference, and I reply--
here's the difference
I don't understand
And that, of course, changes-- nothing
All right. Nothing
I'd better not say anything
I'd hate to misrepresent you to myself
--Did I give you that possibility?
No. I didn't think before I said it
Then it was my fault
I can hardly ignore you if you stay in the same room as me.
Oh, I'm not staying long
Is that a self-fulfiling prophesy that works immediately
Where's the escape route
Don't think I have that figured out yet
You'd hate being left alone?
No. But\ other peop,e with a fantastic degree of self-confidence
make me suffocate
You could turn that around
I don't understand
You could be the one with the selfv confidence
As a pretense
Nobody else would know if it was a pretense
Why are you encouraging this
Figure it out
It's my escape routeIf God--
That's totally irrelevent
To my life.
(Pause. Enter God)
Whi the hell is this?
You didn't recognize him, or her?
It's a him
How can you be sure
It's true, since that's part of the recognition problem. I can't be sure.
(Music rises, on floor in supplication)I bless you for the following
reason. For your stupidity in wanting to understand.
I am trying like hell to think of something to say something that will completely disorient you, so that you will be forced, by necessity, to be re-constituted. So you will rise from the floor into new being
I see that this is not the time or place in which I will be able to accomplish this. So. Let's have something to drink
This could be part of your technique
In the meantime, have something to drink
I'm a charlaten
What can you hope to learn from such a person.
Well . . I'll find out.I can't belioeve myself. This is confusing.
If I can't believe myself, who am I talking to.
Ah. Then talking doesn't equate with belief
I don't think so.OK. What's your approach. How do you organize
your mental apparatus
I try not to
OK. I try for incohgenerce
You mean-- because you understand me
But you didn't
Everything I say is incoherent
It sounds like normal english
Is normal english incoherent
On one level, I speak normal english. But look closer
I think I've done that
Should I take out my magnifying glasses?Something about my visionary
qualities generally upsets people
You see into the future?
Look, I can't even locate the future
Then what's this visionary stuff?
You tell me
You made the claim
That's just it. I make the claim, then you give it reality
That's an unusual approach
You're doing what you're supposed to do
Can I do otherwise?
That's your contribution, I suppose
I can't do otherwise
(Other, out flask)
It keeps me on track
What is it
It's something that's supposed to make you think I'm on something
Alternately, I can use it to polish the furniture
OK. My furniture needs polishing
Now. See if you can find your reflection in this polished surface
I'm glad you didn't move
Are you glad I didn't find my reflection?
Don't kid yourself
You found it
Without recognizing it?
Of course, if you'd been able to recognize it, it wouldn't be you
Does that help you to recognize your reflection?
I don't need help
Born that way?
Not yet, thank goodness
Ah, what's the name of this particular limbo?
How do you cross the line
(Other looks, exits)
Please. Come back?
(Pause, goes, it's locked)
Well, since this door is locked, I'll try the other
(Goes to other, exits)
This is an avenue I've tried
Knock at some of the same doors?
Well, if you can find another door, knock at that door
I'm already confused enough
No. When I said 'avenue' you understood, I didn't mean a literal
Of course, or I wouldmn't have spoken in terms of non-literal
Nevertheless, there is a door
Yes. Quite unexceptional
This one-- you needn't knock before entering
I thought it was-- exiting
Yes, it depends which side of the door you feature
(Exits, returns) I'd say I went out
--I'd say you just came in
Yes, but that's after the fact
Isn't it interesting, you say nothing about what you encountered
on the other side
It was perfectly ordinary
You know, that other room, with the table, the two chairs, the
I've never been in there
Well, you described it so beautifully, I don't feel the necessity
Maybe I left something out
Even if you have, from the description you gave, I conclude that it's probably uninteresting
Even if a few uninteresting details were left out of the description
I'd better check
Ah-- did you discover something more interesting than you originally thought?
(Pause. Rises, goes also. Pause)The word flow stopped at the
base of my spine. That means, the world stopped. When the world
stopped, I stopped. But the other way around. When the word flow
stopped, the world stopped
I erased words, and they multiplied. This was my way of being
These are two important things, even though I do not understand
them. I will pack my bag and go
Which bag is this
It looks to me like your bag is already full
Yes. In fact this is true
What is it full with
It is full of words I've written down so that I will be able to
use them later when I am in life
How odd, the words I write down are different than the words I
use in life
What words do you use in life?
I know these words
When I write something down, I try to semi-erase each word as
it hits the paper
I don't undersatand
If enough time passes, then you'll understand perfectly
I can't have faith in this
That's not necessaryWhy do I take you seriously
Your image is comical
You put me in a position where I possess nothing but questions
Of course. I bestow riches. I am, therefore, poverty stricken
Is it because you can't believe anything I say that you find me
I believe everything you say
Hey-- this is serious business
Coming from me?
I don't know if it comes from you
Then you're right. It's not comical at all
How can I be right if I have only questions
You answered your own question. (Gets stick)
What should I do with this stick
Which of us should receive a blow from this stick
Why did you put it away
Why do you think I took it out
The effect was comical
And was the result comical
How can I make you laugh
I never laugh
(Stops as other points)
Why are you pointing at me
When does a smile turn into a laugh
In my case it doesn't
All right, I admit that on rare occasions I laugh
Then you were perfectly right to say I never laughCan an idea,
which is thought by no one, be said to exist.
There is an idea for which I am searching. And this idea has not
yet been thought, so some opinion is, the idea does not exist.
But it does exist, undiscovered, and it pulls me-- though I know
not its shape or the direction of its thrust, except that one
direction of its thrust is through me, though I have not yet determined
We are here to search for this idea, which exists, but which we know not.
I have a better idea. This is my better idea. We will not search
for this idea, which no one has yet thought. Because we will understand
it is an idea that is unthinkable, though yet still an idea, but
an idea that no human being can think. We will simply-- know that
it exists and thereby change our lives
How will we change our lives?
The answer is incomprehensible
Perhaps that's why the idea to which we point is also incomprehensibleThis
Is this possible?
What seems less than possible (is).
My language will amaze you
What's empty, and in this thing. No. I mean-- what's in this empty
thing. No-- I mean, what's this thing that is empty.
I'll give you the following amount of money for this painting.What
do you think?
You did it for me. I am not capable of doing what you have done
Is that true?
I am about to become famous. I am about to know fame by pretending
to myself that I am the one who painted your painting that you
But I painted it
No, I am pretending to myself that I painted it.
You can remember that to yourself after it has been painted, but
you can't remember it during the doing of the painting because
I was doing to doing of it
The doing of it is not important. The having done it is what is
important and I can equally imagine having done it to your imagining
having done it
This is true
It is a great achievement of mine to have you say-- at the end
of things-- this is true
Perhaps this is always tue at the end of things
The amount of money I give you is changed
Now there is no amount of money I shall give you
This is certainly a painting to enjoy that you have in your house
I have it in my house and I am enjoying it. You can enjoy it,
but you cannot enjoy it on as many levels as I can enjoy it
Is that because it is in your house rather than in my house?
Yes. That is the main reason
A powerful reason
My power is in my powerful reason, which is something I can enjoy
to an excellent degreeDo yopu know everything about me?
Then you know lots about me
Everyone knows lots about everyone else, but on the wrong basis
Then you know nothing about me
Not true. I know everything about you that you know about yourself.
Now-- how much is that
It's a loaded question
Well then, give the appropriate answer
Maybe I'll just think about this
Right. We'll each retreat into our private world
Ah, you can't be too careful
I wonder which one of us really said thatI say 3-- we start to
(Gestures for other to speak)
(They whirl. Each stops-- phased)
I didn't say anything about stopping
That was your mistake
I'm the idea man. I don't have any
Then how can you be the idea man
By having an idea
Let's think about this
I already had an idea that wasn't perminant
This I do not underatand
Ah-- there's your escape route
Please! Let me fill my own mental space by myself
Even if I'm suffocating?
Why are you suffocating.
I have a responsibility to my own mental apparatus
That's a mistake
True enough. No ideas and I'm suddenly flexable
It was supposed to be my technique
These ideas must be in the air--
If they weren't invisible. they wouldn't be ideas, would they
I have no idea
See through me?
I can try it out
(Turns into wall)
I don't think I'm needed in here
(exit)You hurt my eyes
I desire you to that extent
Cover your eyes against me
Will you cover your eyes for me using your own hands.
Tell me how to find you
Ah, am I invisible
Where am I
Where am I
I'm at the other end of the corridor which connects two parts
of the room. But I can see you
I can see you also
Using your eyes
Which do disolve me
My eyes disolve you. Is it painful?
Where is the pain
Our eyes reach each other into the past we still are. That past
is the pain
I'm willing to share it
Your eyes, inside of which I thought there was nothing, and now
there is my own self, looking at me-- and it is painful to have
my own vision self-ripped from my insides so it can look at me
from a distance which is like a knife
When I looked at you, I cut you like a knife
As your eyes met mine, yes. Like a knife
And blood flows from that wound?
Yes it does
Would it be possible to extract from the head, these four eyes
that belong ensemble to the two of us, and bring them together,
physically, in the space between us, and grind them together so
the look, like a knife, cuts into itself and the space that doesn't
exist is conquored
The look. Everything in the look
But it only exists by distance
If you pressed your face against mine, so the eyes were glued
to each other-- then the look and the pain no longer exist, and
everything between us goes dead.
¥es. It would go dead
I would go dead
Let's look away from each other
I remember your eyes
I remember your eyes also
I can't see your eyes because I am looking into your eyes and whirling
I am on a precise point, drilled into that point which could be
myself and could be my other self
You mean, cover myself with my body, to protect myself from the
knife of the eye
Yes, I mean that
Yes, I mean that
I am afraid
Because every time I catch your gaze and return it, the same thing
happens to me
My vanishing could kill me
Is that why you don't describe it
No, that's my description. I want to hold my chect to make sure
it doesn't fly away from me
(She holds her own)
It's still flying
Yes. It's still flying
I don't want to be sick
I don't want to be sick either
__________________ (returns, sets up easle. Other in)
What are you doing
If I paint you, perhaps I'll be able to destroy you
It has the opposite effect
(Destroys image. They put on panels. Come together and make
love with panels on)
(They put out eyes)
Free at last. Free at last.
(On dark glasses)
I wasn't prepared, when you looked into my eyes for the first
time and I fell down
I didn't see you fall down
That was because you fell down also
I don't remember falling down
That was because I fell down
Our eyes locked
Could it have happened by accident
It could only happen by accident. I wasn't prepared
What else could happen by accident
Everything that happens couldhappen by accident, but it only happens
Look at me
Look at me
It won't happen
Are you looking at me
Look into my eyes
How much should I move?
I should move myself so that I can look into your eyes.
Look at nothing
A moment ago I was looking at the back of your head
Into my head?
No. The head stopped me
Now, are you looking inside it?
Yes. Two black dots
Those are holes into the brain
Those are your eyes. Well, in fact I can only look into one at
It's a hole into nothing.
Or say rather, it's a hole, and a hole is nothing
I thought you were saying your brain is nothing
True in many ways . At least, if you look into it, you aren't
looking into what it does, which is what it is, really. It is
. . .what it does.
I can't use a hole to look into that
Ah, is that the brain itself?
That's what's doing the talking when you look into a hole-- did
you see the newspaper?
( fumble for paper)
I haven't seen it
If you look into today's newspaper, you'll find information concering
the new law.
What new law?
There's a law, that from now on, all conversation must take place
with the conversing parties looking directly into the right eye
of the person with whom they're having a conversation
That's an impossible law to enforce
It's the law
I don't believe it
It's the law.
What's the punishment if the law is disobeyed
(takes his shoulders)
It's the law.
Basically, your eyes are two holes
We said that
Except I see one at a time
You look into one at a time
If the law of looking into one at a time--
--The right eye, by the way--
--If it's broken, the punishment is that the shell or crust or
personality of the other person, rules, in the relationship: that
immediately becomes one of disruptive contestation. But if one
looks into the hole that is the right eye--
--words are less necessary
Tumbling; rolling in the head.
The word isn't in the head.
Nothing's in the head
Look what's in this cabinate
What is it?.
The script of this play
Put it back
(Sits and reads)
What does it say?
Well, among other things, it says the words you just spoke
Of course, mine too
And then my response to that
(J speaks in concert)
--and on and on and so forth. Whether you're reading it or not. (Pause, back to first speaker (B) alone)
Since that's the case
What's the case
Since it's all there already
--You don't have to say 'yes, I accept it.' My point is, since it's all down there already, maybe it's not necessary for me to--
-- no, that's not what I want to say--
Yes it is
What I want to say, what I meant to say next, and do say, is that
if we read from the script, even indirectly, since what we're
saying is already determined by the script, it might be better,
to read directly from the script, rather than being indirectly
controlled, while being in the middle of what WE thought was
the personal stress and strain of saying something
But if we read from the script, we couldn't look into the void
of each other's eyes
The right eye is controlled by the left side of the brain which
is the language center
The language center is the script. It contains the language
Ok. If we read from the script, it's the same as looking into the hole of the eye, into the nothing of the brain, through which the script-- speaks.
If we both reach for the script, we turn into nothing for each
other, and the spoken, dynamites the shell of your character and
my character both.
(Pause, gets text)
Here's my copy of the script.
What about gestures.
What about gestures?
Are they allowed and/or desirable.
I can answer my own question. I believe gestures are not desirable, because they are a way of re-covering one's self with external character; which is counter to the tendency of the script itself which is to speak from the real void that's the source, in fact.
(Both with scripts into face)
I can't read like this, the script is too close to my face.
Nevertheless, you know what to say.
I don't know what to say. I just say what rises in me to say
Why does that seem so appropriate?
Sometimes it seems appropriate. Sometimes it seems very wide
of the mark
It is nevertheless, always appropriate
Is that a fact?
That's a fact.
Then I have two choices. Holding the script so close I can't read
it, turns what I say into a void, assuming I'm reading from a
script I can't possibly see.
No. That's the other choice
Think about it
The other choice is somebody looking into somebody's empty eyes.
Didn't you repeat yourself?
I think I object to that.
Take me as I am.
I can't .
You're hiding from me.
No, I'm not hiding from you. You've just made me invisible. That's
How could that happenWhen Mary gave a kiss to Phil
It wrinkled up his pants
It felt as if the legs inside
Began to do a dance.
The fingers in his pockets
Had an awful time because
They twisted in a tangle that
Was breaking many laws.
The cop who put a stop to that
Was nowhere to be seen
So Phil himself was left alone
To wipe those fingers clean.
And when the job was finished he
Could only hope with pride
A non-participant would be
The next to step inside.
But as the window opened he
Began tio feel a breeze
And Mary jumped upon his back
As violent as you please.
She chose her weapon carefully
--A candy covered rake,
And sweeping up the leaves
She made the ultimate mistake.
She turned them all to fire that
Would burn until the trees
Were empty and were bending down
To beg upon their knees.
Oh trees unbend and straighten up
Is just what Phil exclaimed.
It's Mary who should be the one
That history should have blamed.
But history wasn't anywhere
In sight-- it must have fled,
And Mary and a friendly Phil
Both tucked themselves in bed.
The kisses that they both exchanged
Were somehow upside down
And Mary had the sweetest way
Of making Philip frown.
A frown deserves a kiss of course
And soon the game was up
And Phil and Mary, side by side
Were taken in a truck
Away to where the flowers and
Potatos side by side
Were eaten by the animals
Who's hunger conquored pride.
And when the feast was finished
All the animals sat down
And cried --We'd rather keep our claws,
In case we're stuck in town.
But as at night
The gates were locked
The animals were left
To wander in the woods in which
The human beings slept.
And all alone
They climbed the tree
Of promises well-kept.
And there upon the highest branch
Apparently quite tall,
They started very slowly
The anticipated fall.
Oh Humans falling slowly
Through the kingdom of the kiss
You should have seen
Quite long ago
That something was amiss.
But since you didn't notice that,
Continue, have your fun.
There's miles to go,
and hours to play
Before your day is done.I fell into you
I fell into you
(Pause, turns away)
Human beings cxan't go inside each other, can they
There is no way for one human being to enter another human being
Every way has been tried and no way works
I give up
No. You haven't really given up. f you realy gave up-- it would
Come to me
No. Give up
I give up
You haven't given up
I don't know if it's something you can do on purpose
It's like an accident
Once upon a time, I wanted to fuck somebody. But it hadn't happened
yet, and I threw myself down on the bed with a feeling of giving
up. At that moment-- everything changed, as if a switch had been
thrown, the basis of my consciousness changed as if I'd been hit
with an electrical charge and painlessly burned to nothing.
IT was as if my head had been replaced with a glass sphere six
feet in diameter, and everything in the outside world was seen
by me as tiny images on that sphere, but those images projected
as if from the inside, as if their real source was inside me.
And at the same time, all my frustration and anger and unhappiness
was also projected onto that sphere, as if all that were outside
me instead of inside me.
And I was inside the emptiness of my eye, or of somebody else's
eye, and this was accompanied by a feeling of joy and light and
happiness that had no equal in my whole life. Except maybe, for
a second, when our eyes locked and we looked into each other's
nothingness. But that was just a faint. . .copy. . .of this other
experience I never had again.
It must have been an accident.
(They dress in panels and eyes, and dance)
In the middle of my life, I travelled to where the beautiful woman waited for me
In what kind of room did she wait
The light had faded, it was so dim in that room, I could no longer
tell if she was beautiful
If indeed the light had faded, are you absolutely certain she
was still in that room
No, I am not sure of that
Is she in this room now
Isn't it possible, with your eyes closed, it may be that she is
here and you can't see her
Should I open my eyes
I feel certain, she is not here
(Goes, other to mirror
Open your eyes
You see? She's not hereYou, you, you
(She covers her ears)
You are a door I dare not open
You are a door I dare not open
No-- you said--
I know what I said. By opening it-- I close it
Don't I have something to say about it
No. Nobody says anything accurate about the use the world makes
Suppose I'd rather not be used
We are used
I think I'll withdraw
You will still be used, because I have seen you, and having seen
you, I stand, inside myself, in front of a door
If I ache. from being near you, where is that ache
How can there be an ache in my heart, since I am aware of it in
my head, only when I am awake to it
Are you imagining me in your arms?
Well-- yes, but the ache is in my eyes
When I look into your eyes?
No, when I am denied that
So the ache must be in your eyes
Let me feed you
No. To be fed, is to be closer to death
To suffer this ache, which is in the eyes, is to be alive, which
Before you saw me, did it hurt
Before I saw you, I was asleep. The unfortunate thing is that
human beings can function in sleep. Once awake, they no longer
functionI think you're comitted to something I'm not comitted
I think-- through you, a door opens
I don't feel like a door, and I don't think I look like a door
No. You look very much like a door
Do I have hinges on one side
Yes. You pivot
I approach you-- I look towards you as you turn in space and I
see that part-- this thing in you that stops me
Stops you from what
Your beauty stops me
I am not that beautiful
You are beautiful because when I look at you, I am convinced of the conection on some level between your physical appearance and the posited existence thereby of paradise
This is convincing proof that you are beautiful
It depends on your vision of paradise
Of course it does
But I am a door
I do not know how to pass through you into that paradise you reflect.
I know from experience that simply joining my life to yours, or
even entering you partially through sexual acts-- I do not enter.
I close the door, perminantly. I destroy what I reach for
(Pause) They you'll have to worship me from a distance
Are you looking for a key?
Of course I'm looking for a key
I'm trying to turn you into a mirror
You think I'm a door, but you try to turm me into a mirror
I'd never thought of it like that but it just occired to me
Ah, that means a door must have opened, just a tiny bit
Please, come into my arms
You said that would be a mistake
Yes, I did
You believe I'm peverse enough to embrace something I think is
bent on self destruction
Maybe it's a test
Do you forsee all resluts?
Whatever the results are, I doubt I'll be able to interpret them
(Embrace, kiss- break)
OK. What happened
I won't know until I'm in paradise
Some people would say-- we are
I still won't know until I'm there-- even if I'm there
You waited just a few seconds too long
Now that I'm alone, can I think any more clearly.
No. I have no power of thought. So let's see what chance produces.
I don't want to see anything.
I see-- easily. I see everything easily. I don't want this to happen. I don't want so much of the material of my life coming through my eyes.
I want it coming through the ears
You want your life to be a radio
I do. I want my life to be a radio
What is it
Why do I want to look at you more then at other people
You have to say
You're beautiful. But there are other people just as beautiful and I don't have the same need to look at them
Don't say that
Blind me so I no longer have to look at you and feel terrible
Why do you feel terrible
Because I want to loom at you and I can't enough. However much
I look at you it is not enough
Don't look at me
I have to
That doesn't say why.
I do like you
Then who do you hide behind that barrier
To be able to like you
Then you don't like me
No. What that barrier says to me, is you don't like me
When thought rises
it lifts stones.
When thought ends
On that basis, I should love you
I do love you
Are you speaking for me?
I had the thought to speak for you
Then you don't love me after all
Let's put it this way. I can THINK about loving youWhy am I not
What you do not understand my boy-- is the way in which each moment
of life must be grounded in a moment of death
Will this make me happy?
Then I refuse your contribution
It was no contribution
Will facing death make me happy?
What do you mean by 'facing'
I don't know
The words just came
Facing death is meaningless(say only memorable things)
I am now in the center of things where everything is fluid. Yet
I hold to my human form, even though, being at the center of things
I can no longer be said to be completely human
Am I looking upon a God?
Yes. This is true
But you seem human
I am a God, but in the shape of a human being
I can no longer believe this
Because your God-like nature swamps every trace of the human
(to say only memorable things)
Your abilities shock me
My ability to do what.
(The opposite of what I expect)
The opposite exists by necessity, and since it's a necessity,
it sinks to the bottom of things which is called oblivion
Continue to exist. Exist me.
This is a carressWhat I see before my eyes is an image which vibrates.
And in so vibrating-- it receeds as it advances also
It is the snake of paradise. An image which comes to me as I glance
at the book lying on the table next to the couch upon which I,
This vibrating snake, is; above all/Thought is now facing something
imense, and is therefore wiped out
There are moments to be filled
But; suppose they are not filled. What then?
That does not however, mean that death rules. Death is the shadow
cast by the attempt to fill moments. If the moments are not filled,
well-- the shadow of death simply disolves
That proves it
You were trying to fill a moment
You too, since you answered me
Right. But I'm ready to die
In fact I was lying. I'm not ready to die
We'll have to find out, won't we.