This is the story of a man

who said meaningful things--

in the presence of other people who claimed the things he said were not

in fact


Were these things said in friendship?

Right. Youíre right to be frightened

I didnít say I was frightened

But you are, I can sense it

Do I look frightened?

Now that the subjcts been raised, itís hard not to be aware of a certain, veneer of fear, underlying the most ordinary things

Perhaps this is one of my stories

I would say itís not a story, itís a simple hypothosis.

I would say thatís a story.. A very meaningful story. The story of your elusive fear, which may well be justified. The story of the meaningfulness of everything I present for your consideration..

Wouldnít you agree that itís meanimgful for me to say that-- if I am not in fact your friend-- this fact, could in fact, be for you a source of energy.


Yes, if thereís hostility betwene people, people are energized as a result.

There have to be better ways.

Ah, thinking about better ways-- thatís potentially meaningful. But it is also potentially meaningful to reralize that all energy is perhaps the result of hostility on some level, between people, and that energy is not necessarily desirable because it only seems desirable in the context of a world in which every possible relationship is colored by a certain degree of hostility.

I choose not to entertain that vision of the world.

You entertain a vision of the world?


Describe it.

I donít have words to describe it. Sorry if that makes it less meaningful

Oh no. That makles it more meaningful-- donít operate under the delusion that decription equals meaningfulness. No-- description is as best the corelation of a fact and a particulAr sub-system, and sub-systems are mere conveniences, buffers against the truth.

Which is?


Didnít you ever hypothose that God was speaking to you in the details of a world from which he had withdrawn? Leaving hints in thigs of course, but his withdrawal-- his absence-- therein in encoded the message, the meaning.

Do you realy think itís God I am after?

Well, I think youíre trying to find out, and youíll never know for sure if itís God you are after.

I quite sure its not God I am after

Ah, donít let your illusions vanish, my friend--

Not your friend.

Right. But without your illisuons, you will be forced into double vision. Seeing things both as they are and as they are not. Totally without separation.

Isnít that the human condition? An untimate lack of clarity-- relative clarity at best. I donít claim to surpass that. I have no desire to surpAss that since I believe the search for total clarity turns one into a monster.

Is that why youíreafraid of me?

Well, thatís why you can be no-oneís friend, perhaps.

Certainly not mine.

Take my hand

Why should I

Take my hand, I didnít say it was infriendship

Then why should I take your hand

Think of it as a possible energy transfer

It would be a fantesy. Itís not something I could possibly believe

Take my hand and find out


I donít experience any energy transfer..

Will you let go?

You want me to leave?

Yes. in fact

But youíd rather not leave, so how can I leave?

You donít want to leave unless I leave?


Iím not leaving

So I gather

Something very important is going to happen to you


Wait for it

Do I have to wait right here in order to have this thing happen to me?

Ah, itís already happened


You asked-- so itís happened

I donít think anything has happened

Yes it has

Then why wonít you let go of my hand

Of course


Now that my two hands are unoccupied-- may I make us a drink?

Am I included?

Why not.

Up til now, Iíve had the feeling I havenít ben included

Iíll make you a drink also, though of course I donít recommend it.

Why not?

Youíll probably be thinking less clearly if you drink something

Under the circumstances, that could be a godsend--

Ah, youíre the believer


Then donít take advantage of the situation.

Should I make you a drink?

Are you trying to make a believer out of me?

Thatís my gift

How can I return such a generous gift

Iím sure you could begin by providing me with ehtertainment. Once upon a time, life itself provided me with entertainment. But those days have long since passed, and now I depend upon, well-- more artificial means I do believe that you could become, with some effort of course, one of those artificial means.

I donít choose to make such an effort.

But look at the effort you make right this minute. Feel all those particles straining inside your extrememly vulnurable physical envelope--

Did you ever notice about yourself--

--Iím sure I have--

--you seem to be a man whoís continually on the lookout for opens in whatever conversation in order to insert things you want to say into the conversation, even if the have nothing to do with the conversation-- on very elusive subjects that seem to be the subjects you really want to talk about-- no matter what else different is really going on.


Say something. Respond to what Iíve just said

Maybe I can respond to that just as well, by saying nothing.


Whatís going on here

What would you say is going on here

Itís beyond me

Thatís why you offered me a drink

Wair a minute-- didnít you offer ME a drink?

I think it was the other way around

No it wasnít

Can you convince me?

Of course. Iíll make you a drink

Is that to make me doubly confused?

What Iím hoping-- what Iím realy hoping against hope-- is that weíll be able to very effectively confuse each other

You want it to be mutual

Oh yes, I certainly want it to be mutual. Because then Iíll have succeeded in making at least one other person, you-- my sweet nothing, accept with open arms they very sweet and intense meanigfullness I offer for an intimate of sharing something-- it could be so good and meaningful together in our mutual confusion, if you get my drift

I donít like drifting


(She goes)

Youíre drifting out of my orbit

No-- its a very deliberate choice

Then who did the trajectory stop, and re-twisat in my direction?

Am I being encouraged to follow you into the next room

No. Iím not going into the next room/.

Right, itís safer in here

Why, whatís the the next room.

One never knows

You must know

Am I here? Or in the next room. Then how would I know whatís in the next room. Should we find out together?


Ah, that could be the answer

How could that be the answer

Before you introduce yourself, know thereís a woman beside me here who expects much clarification from this telephone call--

I do not

(Puts it doen, rings again)

This means something-- what does it mean?

I donít know

It means one always gets a second chance.

(enter other)

Did you just cal us from the next room

I did notWhat I find unsettling is the way everything is turning into something else

Thatís exciting to me

Oh? Wherever I look-- a chair turns into a table. A door opening-- but really-- waving at me like a giant hand

Have some drugs.

My problem is-- words. My problem is the words I most want to use, the words that OBCESS me-- well, they do obcess me.

Here are someThe green light over the inner door; means--?

Things are hapopening. Violent things

Are you who I think you are

I donít know who you think I amI recognize you.

Then all prophicies are fulfilled

This is a strange room. The things that happen in this room--


Happen, I think, so that this room can be a witness to these happenings

I think what you say is very believeable

What happens in this room that this room recogniozes, is chartable on a different graph only-- whose co-ordinates are not known to us

Not, certainly, to my consciousness


What does my consciousness know of such things

Oh-- it is a vulgar world that sustains belief systems such as you propose

I would have thought the opposite

See? I register you in the light of my own pitiful desires and expectations

Then you are indeed-- one of my tribe

I thought so. I have already imagined embracing you

Then we have already embracedIn his room, there is a mirror that remembers everything

You mean, everything that has been reflected on itís surface. Or everything that has been reflected in its depths.

It makes your head spin, doesnít it

A mirror is the only thing, in a world of problems, I find believeable

This table you find problematic?

Of course

But the mirror in which it is rflected-- not problematic


Ah, thatís not the same word

I chose my words very carefully

Ah, I suddenly notice


Whatís right

The mirror reflects a table, but not a spoken word


I suddenly resalize youírfe able to read thoughts

No-- the same thought suddenly occured to both of us at once

Thatís suddeness if I ever heard of suddeness

Unfortunately, the one thing a mirror lacks is ears

Iíd say it lacks everything

Even eyes?

Especially eyes




You see? We seem to be turning it into something problematic

Iíll never agree to that

Right now, itís lying

Thatís not problematic at all

Whatís your definition of being problematic

I have no definitions for things-- I just have things

Have a seat



Of courseWhen the man Iím talking about entered my field of vision, I said, ah-- you are not my friend, sir.

He presented me with a gift, only as I unwrapped the package-- he smile turned cold, because in accepting his gif, I confounded his expectations/


Thatís the kind of person he was. An enigma.

And the gift was something special. A small gold disk with the letters of the alphabet embossed on one side. And I said to myself-- is my own name, hidden amongst those letters?

I looked at the side that was empty-- this side is even more pregnant, I said to myself.

I held the blank side of the disk up to a mirror, and itís nothingess was reversed.

And I was intellectually tumbled by a wave of emotion as I realized that nothingness reversed induced in one a whole range of possibilities I had not the means to mentally articulate to myself.I realized suddenly-- you had to be willing to insert the key into the lock

you had to be willing to turn, then, the key.

These seemed like simple tasks

In fact, they were simple

But there was a tremendous inner resistence to the first move, the ininitation of that sequence.

Why this inner resistence to something so simple?

This is a mystery (Open door)

Now-- look for the kep, which is taped under the edge of that table

But I just used this kep to open the door

No. The key is hidden on the underside of the table

What about this key

Trust me

Is there another door?

No. Thatís the door

Did I open it?

You did

Then who do I need the oter key?

Trust me. Could I trouble you for a drum?

A drum

Yes-- Iíd like to make some noise

I bet

I smile. Iíd really like to make some noise

Did you think Iíd provide a drum?

I consider you my equal

He holds to his principals. This is why he suffers

He empties the contents of his pockets. A small box is filled

Some things are on top and hide other things

On a trip thrugh the mountains, he drives more carefully than on the freeway. Or does he? What does it mean to drive more carefuly. More attention given to steering, one would suppose. Yes, he never non-steers.

His sex is a recognizable part of his pesonality. He hides it in other things

What I have for you is a special kind of gift.

I bet. I bet

Look into the center of this jewel. Do you see anything?

I do


What isnít allowed-- is that I swallow this substance and turn completely into who I am not

or what I am not.

You wouldnít be the first person to have taken a painful drug

I donít think you understand

What donít I understand

You donít understand the significance of the drug taking in terms of the personal ecstacy that is my private system of being


Let me show you something

(chop off hand, blood , screams)

Thatís a trick, isnít it?

What did I do

You chopped off your hand

Was it a trick

I think so

But an effective illusion


Suppose it had been real

Well-- real things have happened in wars and so forth

They have, havenít they


Now. I will ask you to take a bite of this thing

(The drug)

I donít want to

I insist


Please what

Please release me

Release you from what

Please release me

But nobody is restraining you

Thatís not true. I feel imprisoned

Try getting out


Iím out

My only hope is that I am hopefulI want you to notice the bedís been prepared

Iím ready for that bed-- that is, if I undress

You can even use it not getting completely undressed

Just the shows

Yes. Take off the shoes

Well, maybe notThere is absolutely no place for this revelation to be as ravishing as it should be. Every part of my body should be effected

Try --

Try what.A key should be inserted. Happiness should be extracted

Wait a minute. After the key is turned

After the key is turned, the key is removed

Does the door open


But the key is removed

Oh yes


Who pockets the key

No one pockets the key

Is it visible

Well, one remembers its configuration

Strange-- I think these fingers--


Should I hold just one of these to my lips

I donít think youíll be alowed to imitate the precise mechanism, but why not try


(does it moving finger away during noise)

(Open door)

Was it already unlocked

Thatís not unlocked

(Points to chest on the floor)

Ah, but this item has a surprise Iíve already encountered

(Turns it over)

See? The bottom is missing

I still think itís locked

Yes it is, but I cam enter it (


and exit. No problem

Oh, I think thereís a problem

Tell me

Thatís the problem

You canít tell me?

Itís so-- self evident, it canít be grasped


Hereís the key. I mean-- a key

What does this open

Just by accident, I donít know

Well, why donít I give it back to you

Itíll open practically anything

A skeleton key


Then Iíll save it for future usefulness--

No, use it now, if youíre going to use it

Then Iíll give it back to you

Iíll just-- hide it


It opens practically anything


Iím glad you hid it

Now where did I put that key?

(Spins)Iíd like to be able to be fast. Sometimes-- sometimes not

Youíd cover territory

(Pause, looks)

Am I where I started?

Thatís covering territory

Where I started, moves


Fast if it isnít here

Not yet


I can see weíre talking about the same pieces of funiture

I never had furniture I liked

How would you define having furniture

Iíd very quickly, make an inventory of my feelings


So. Times passes

And here we are

Yes. Deep into our furniture

This opens, I think


Careful-- what you take out is going to influence the rest of your life

No questions.


No questions?


Large hands

Stabbing oneís self with a knife




WingsIt is true that

daring to look round a corner

The visible


into the tourturous

forget-me-nots of

I canít see it--

You canít see it--

Nobody sees it except that man in the black hat who stumbled on it quite by accidentIíll never forget this magical object

Well, --itís formless

No. It has a form, itís just . . .


A wad. A large wad of somethingIf I had something specific to talk about, I wouldnít be able to talk about whatís really important to me-- no, correct that-- whatís really important, which to me isnít, but it is important

So you have something to talk about after all

No. Iím in the process of erasing thatHere is a list of potent items






You favor physical objects over people

I favor not people, but what is inside people. And the potent physical objects I choose perform excevations on the inside of people


You see? A brass trumpet would express your ëOhî in a way that would shake things as they are to their very foundations

Iíd like to be turned inside out

Would you?

Well, it was a momentary lust for something I probably canít handle


Stabbing oneself

Large hands



eye glasses


It is true that

daring to look around a corner

the visible


into those torturous forget-me-nots

of I canít see it

I canít see it--

Nobody sees it except that man in the black hat who stumbled on it quite by accidentIíll never forget this magic object

Well, itís formless

No-- it has a form, itís just--


A wad. A large wad of somethingIf I had something specific to talk about-- then that would stop me from being able to talk about whatís really important to me-- no, correct that. Whatís really important, which to me isnít-- but it is important

So you have something to talk about after all

No. Iím in the process of erasing thatHere is a list of potent items






You favor physical objects over people

I favor not people, but what is inside people. And the potent physical objects I choose perform excevation on the inside of people.


You see? A brass trumpet would experience your ìOhî in a way that would shake things as they are to the core.Thatís funny. I was just upstairs and I thought somebody was there



You werenít upstairs

Oh yes I was

You were down here with me for hours

Hey, you must be dreaming, kitten, because I was upstaiors with you know who, setting personal matters in order, but now-- I donít know why-- I can just sense that you know who went up there but thereís no exit from up their except those stairs and I didnít see you know who, coming down those stairs


You know who

Say it

Why should I say it when I know it causes you such pain, doll face.Somebodyís been lying to me about life

Everything is in response to pain. Emotional, physcial-- without pain, --nothing

Then maybe nothing is desirable

Yes. Nothing, is desirable. But of course, desire is a trap


Itís very easy to be negative

Oh? Nothing painful? did notice-- as I turned this particular corner-- I did notice-- Helene , or somebody like Hlene, emerging from a doorway and shutting the door behind her, then slaming her fist against the door, not as if she wanted to enter but as if placing the ërealí of her fist, embossed, onto the door itself

Well well well-- you can go up these stairs, you can go down thses stairs, These are things you can do in this room

* * *

What can I do in this room. I can go in and out the door.

Probably not.

I probably canít do that

Of course you can

No-- this going in and out of doors-- thatís something I camn only imagine

Well, it doesnít sound like fun, but you can certainly do it

How can I do something that isnít fun

When was the lAst time you had fun?

I canít remember

Then you must have done lots since then that wasnít so much fun

Did it ever occur to you that I have a bad memory

Ah, then you ARE having fun after all

Well, I was until a minute ago

What happened a minute ago

I realized it wasnít as much fun as I thought it was

What was

Whatever. Just. . . .waiting for something exciting to happen


Watch this

(Exits)The ground of things is going to write about itself on the inside of my head . I can feel it getting ready to happen


I better not turn my head up looking for heaven

(Chop it off)

You no longer have tio write anything about what happens to you

What do you mean?

He left the room wearing rose colored glasses, didnít he?