Is it possible to imagine the opposite of happiness?
I suppose so
No. Think about it. This is not possible. Because the minute imagining starts happening--
You meant to say-- the minute happiness starts happening-- but you interrupted yourself
Yes I did
To correct yourself? Or to hide something.
Ah, I wanted to hide my happiness
Well, you must be superstitious
I am not. Or rather, one half of me is not.
Life will always correct things that are going wrong
By making them worse?
You tell ME
You have a little bit of happiness, but you never nurture it, you never let it flower into something even more powerful
I’m talking about happiness power
I see a certain light in your eye that sends me running from this room in fear
Guess how often my imagination stands in for reality
One can never trust words, I suppose. Mine included. So when I make speeches about happiness? Ah. How stupid to be siezed by such ideas--
Yes, I feel much better
This is for you
A dangerous weapon of some kind?
Open it and find out
(Goies to cabinet)
Look. I have one just like it
Then there’s no need to open either of them
Then let’s throw both of them out the window
(Done. One can’t breathe)
Remember-- what doesn’t destroy me, makes me stronger
Right. I remember that
You know what was in my box
Don’t tell me please
I won’t to be able to verify it byopening the box
\But you could HAVE the information, even if you can’t verify the information
That’s just it-- I’d prefer to hover in that realm of having no idea except my own guess--
Don’t you remember? What doesn’t destroy you, makes you stronger.
I’m not sure that’s good for me
If I’m stronger--
You mean happy?
Then I can live with it
Do you have a choice?
Unless that door is suddenly locked without my knowing it, I have a choice
I’ll just imagine--
Then YOU go
Now that I’, alone. Not for the first time: but each time, releasing in me very different imaginings.
Now that I’m alone. . .
I understand that what happens is always the opposite of what seems to be happening
No. It’s the opposite of what happens, not what seems to be happening. Do you appreciate the distinction?
What happens is always the opposite of what happens
What happened to your original what SEEMS to be happening
I lost that reference point
Here. Have some fruit
That’s what seems to be happening
IO bet you’re going to do something peculiar with fruit
Maybe I’ll select an item, and have some
That’s an imaginary procedure
Here-- you taste it to prove it’s OK
Listen. If that fruit were poisoned, I wouldn’t necessarily be the one doing the poisoning
What are the odds
Then taste it
If it’s something of which I’m not particularly fond?
Now that I’m alone--
(Takes fruit, eats)
It seems OK, but I don’t like it
Mine was OK
So was mine
Then finish it
You know why not
(Back in bowl)
I don’t think people will be happy about a bowl of fruit topped by one that’s half eaten
Well, nobody else is here
On top of which-- neither of us is particularly fond of fruit
Well-- sometimes I have a taste for it
Not if it’s poisoned
Of course not
Think of all the other things in the world that contain equally hidden dangers
If I think about them-- I’ll be that much more vulnurable
Right. You have a way of calling attention to important issues
Maybe that’s called-- being evasive
Well, it’s a trap nobody escapes
Even if I go out that door again
I haven’t escaped
Now that I’m alone. Is that an escape? I don’t think so.
The subtle is no more in this world
The invisible is no more in this world
That’s good isn’t it? Things available, rather than invisible, things available, rather than subtle and therefore sometimes overlooked.
Good? I don’t think so. I think a better world is a world full of subtle things-- nuances. And invisible things-- behind the things that are seen, producing density, plasticity, mystery.
Guess why you like such things
Because you are a WEAKLING.
Yes. I am weak
That’s contemptable, isn’t it. To be that much of a weakling?
No. Strong people are often. . .stupid. And boring.
Suppose. You were suddenly very successful, Isak. Would you turn your back on that
lcome that turn of events
Welcome? I’m not sure
You’d feel hapy
It would be another manifeststion of my weakness that I would be happy at that turn of events
I throw off the cloak of pasivity! But it doesn’t last. And again. . .my vitality hides inside the seed of a different something
Here I go again. Here I go again.
what’s the matter with me? How many books have I read all through, from the beginning to the end? Not many.
Wisdom is not useful, That’s the kind of world it’s become. Any wisdom I give you will just make you eventually in-operable. Better I should go on the attack
Ah, what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger
Isn’t that Neitzche?
He went crazy, which may have been a perfect solution to life’s problems
What’s the matter with me!
This has no enterence and no exit, and it’s called the wide wide world
Then anything should be possible
It’s not a question of possibilities, it’s about first one thing happens, then another thing happens, and then another
You mean, therefore, this world is perfect.
Yes. It is demonstrably perfect, because it is demonstrably complete
Let’s visit the perfect world
.I no longer believe in flying saucers. I’ve lost my faith.
How often do I have bad experiences
Not too often I hope
Perhaps if I had bad experiences all the time, life would be more interesting
It depends on what you mean by bad experiences
I’d like to be fashionable
That seems like a trivial desire
It is-- plus, that could be my salvation.
A kind of discourse that’s unrerlated to what’s gone on before
A new kind of sexual intensity
This is OK. My experiences
This is a new kind of experience
I think this is a sexual experience
Yes, but this is a new kind of sexual experience
Be quiet and I can tell you, but not quiet-- and no information is available
Whatever I can tell you about this new kind of sexual experience, or, vice versa, whatever you can experience about this new kind of sexual experience-- is not relevent to the fact
That’s why I agree to be quiet about such things
I just want one thing that burns me more and more and more. Just-- the intensity of one thing. The contemplation of one thing that gets brighter and brighter and brighter, until it’s unendurable.
I think I’m better at mystical experience than anybody else.
Not me. I’m not good at that
This is strange. For no reason at all--
There are always reasons
Maybe. But other people don’t always understand reasons
I bet they do
I bet you do
I don’t understand why, under the circumstances, one experiences stage fright
That’s what I mean
Say it for me
See? This is strange-- why, under the circumstances, do you experience syage fright?
Stage fright! Stage fright! Stage fright!
You have to admit it’s strange that you want to say things that are in bad taste
I didn’t say I wanted to upset you
I know you don’t want to upset me-- that makes it even more peculiar. Nobody in their right mind wants disturbing things said. Things that cut into them like knives-- why should I collaborate in that?
You know why
But why do you need to experience that kind of mental pressure
I don’t think you should ask me that question
OK. I just have to decide whether I want to participate in such a situation
I say yes to that
How much money is involved
If I said a lot-- what would you consider a lot
I’ll have to think about this.
strange, but I do not have the energyh to do what I want to do.
If I acquire energy-- that energy leads me where I do not want to be led.
But if I try to go-- mentally-- where I want to go-- I then no longer have the energy. Strange
Where do you want to go for which you have not the energy
Going there-- beginning to go there-- my energy -- lessens
Where is that, what direction is that, in which you energy lessens
Let me try it this way. When you gain energy, where are you headed then?
Here’s what I need. I need another center of consciousness to be open to my center of consciousness. To interpenetrate, if I may say so, my own center of consciousness. Is that-- potenitally-- acceptable?
Tryt it out
Make it happen.
OK. I’m in the process of expanding my own center of consciousness
I don’t feel anything special
OK. It didn’t work
The complete and total idiot
What did you call me?
I wasn’t necessarily talking to you. I could very well have been talking about myself
I doubt that.
Here’s a predicition. By the end of the week-- we’ll be sharing the same bed.
Am I invested with my own energy? Or somebody else’s energy
Don’t ask for explinations
Of course not. Energy superceeds explinations
Hey-- what does energy superceed?
But-- isn’t that energy?
Everything is energy
Oh great psychotic person-- do you reach energy levels denied the rest of us?
No. These energy levels are denied to no one-- it is myself howevere, exclusively, who choses to access those energy levels
Oh great psychotic-- I have nothing to say to you
Oh? That proves you have something to say to me
Discover it inside me
Oh? Didsovered inside me, yet hidden from me>?
Our thoughts are hidden from us, yes
Not all thoughts, certainly--
Then invert the image-- they are constituted in the real world as hidden things. OK>
When you say OK
--Yes, when I say OK, the world thinks-- it’s the great psychotic who says OK, so OK means something out of the ordinary, when OK comes from that source!
I do know that behind this door, people very important to me-- are on the verge of verrifying the fact of my own consciousness.
If I knock-- I will frighten them and they will turn elsewhere.
So, I must not knock.
I am alone, therefore-- for a long long time, which makes me very unhappy
Energy? Don’t tell me that I have no right to energy wherever I can find it.
If the sources of your energy are perverse--?
And how do you define that!
Is there a story that could possibly interest me? I don’t think so. It’s over and done with in the realm of stories
I have no story to tell
Is it truly over and done with in the realm of stories?
I do think so
Sad or not sad
Well-- behavior is still available to human beings
No. Behavior is no longer available
Then we’ve reaces an impass
Lert’s jump a head and say that consciousness also, is no longer available. We’re on automatic piolet, as it were
Ah, something else is at work
We’re on automatic piolet
Am I still allowed, possibly, to be interested in happiness?
Isn’t that irrelevent?
I hope not
You have no way of registering whether or not you are participating in happuiness
Are you participating in happiness
I seem to be in the midddle between happiness and not happiness
That’s not happiness
No. I suppose it isn’t Can I go?
A new kind of life experience that has nothing to do with happiness
Let me see this
It’s not with the eyes such a discovery is made
Yes, I know, happiness is experienced with the entire body
But I said this wasn’t about happiness.
Sometimes, happiness is experienced only with the brain
If your brain is powerful enough
No, not powerful-- but useable in a different way than normal
This is no mountain for me to climb like I normally do climb mountains
Outside what I do know, there is lots I don’t know, admittedly. But can this develop iunto somehing-- two hands on something. I don’t know. Sometimes I think what’s best about me, I bettef keep to myself, you know why? Because you can TAKE from me, you can take things from me and I never get them back.
So while I have to be careful about lots of things, I want to be not so careful, and the risks involved, let’s just turn them into advantages beause when I hurt-- of my body, the mind cells are even MORE active