(room, bellboy in turns, waits. H: slowly enters)
Suppose you tell me what seems to be the trouble, sir?
It's just-- I wanted to carry my own baggage
I'm afraid that wouldn't be appropriate, sir. It's me who's the bellboy
But try to understand me . .
I'll try, sir.
Excuse me while I get the rest of the luggage
H: (as Bellboy exits)
No no no, please no!
Look at me: one of those people who can control nothing of his own life. It's life that has to make all my choices for me. After such choices have been forced upon me, it's true that my twisting and turnings are evocative and unusual-- but if I myself make the initiating choice, --oh, what inevitable mediocrity. How much more interesting and vital when unpredictable storms strand me on some unrecognizable island.
(Bellboy returns, loaded dow)
This is wrong. You carry too much baggage.
But I'm a bellboy, sir.
Please, little bellboy-- drop all excess baggage
You mean, lose my job, sir?
It's the one thing I hold onto, sir
You mean, it keeps idle hands occupied?
Oh, my hands are quite full, sir
Yes, and how can you use your head when hands are so occupied?
I think what you mean, sir, is--
You already know how my words finish?
(exit, return with book stack)
How can the head be used if the head, not the hands, are pre-occupied.
That's too much reading.
When I'm not otherwise occupied, sir
You mean, simply a bellboy's avocation
--don't push me into pre-ordained catagories
Probably not all bellboys are equal
Mere catagories, sir
(Others in for books)
What is your catagory?
Humm-- Philosophical, perhaps?
I knew it, I knew it-- philosophical bellboy. Nose in a book during moments between assignments
If there are moments between assignments. Which we may well question
Now, for instance
For a truly philosophical bellboy, I think not, sir
(Others in cart, load up B)
Please, please, please, drop all these bags
Wait a minute. I don't even know if these were my bags--
Ah, Nobody knows this, sir
All right, then drop them
Now your hands are unoccupied
Can we still say "Bellboy?"
Or is it just in the uniform
Do you know that sometimes we don't even wear our uniforms?
I don't want to believe that
Sometimes we carry no baggage at all sir
I don't want to believe that
W: (enters, others to walls )
Let me think about this
What's missing from this picture?
I think I can answer
Well at least make a guess
We're groaping towards the subject of mutual interest, arfen't we.
What's missing from this picture
You mean-- what's the hole in the middle of this particular world?
Why hello, my dear Mr hole in the world--
She recognizes me, whereupon I am indeed glad to re-make the acquaintance of dear madem hole in the world
(They approach, look, kiss as if for the first time. Then stagger to walls. Then she exits inner chamber. It was a great love)
Now. Are you absolutely sure?
Sure about what
Are you carrying the appropriate suitcases?
(B gets them)
Wait a minute. Have you checked everything?.
Your shoelaces for instance?
Checked my shoelaces? Not recently I suppose
Are they tied or are they untied?
When I checked them, which I didn't? Or when I originally tied them, putting on my shoes. Tied
I have every reason to believe still tied
That means, when you carry the suitcases, your shoes will still be dependable
I should think so
You see? I should think so too
There's poetry in that, sir
Yes there is
I can be travelling to very different places. Shoes well secured to the feet
I think so
But you still think-- checking them again would be in order
Let's satisfy my curiosity
It's quite all right
That's good, sir
I have the feeling that these shoes are so designed-- even if the laces came undone-- the shoe would probably remain in place. On the foot. They might flop about a bit, but they wouldn't fall off.
Then you're in good shape
Yes I am, sir
Shoe-wise, I mean
H: (Looks about)
. . . table wise?
May I ask-- do you think we could have a seance using this table?
Yes, a seance
I believe just two of us isn't enough, sir
So what. Let's try.
(Table moves by itself to side, scared, other bellbys in)
Well, sir, I suppose that means this table doesn't want to be used for a seance
I don't like --recalcitrant tables
Very well, sir.
(Puts on table cloth, then he is laying some plates, as H out)
That should calm down this very idiosyncratic table. I feel confident.
I've been thinking
I wonder what that table was afraid of revealing to us.
Maybe, it just wanted to eat something, sir
I'm sorry, but I can't help wondering if there are many things in the universe just like this, of which we know so little
ah, I suppose the universe is infinite, sir
No, I don't quite think so
B: (Open window)
This window you thought was a window onto the outside world ?
Oh my God-- I never even noticed, these window panes are in fact, false window panes
B: (reappear in window)
What do you mean, sir.
Well, it's night, so I couldn't tell thesewindows were black, opaque material, that wasn't real window glass
That's so wrong
Windows are transparent
You can see me, I think? And I'm outside the room.
What you look through is a window to see me. What's more sir, just by looking at you through a window, I know a great deal about you, sir.
Well-- An infinite number of things?
You jump right out of your skin every time I reappear
No-- I was expecting something something like this to happen
Have we ever been properly introduced--?
That's not necessary
Are you frightened, sir?
A human being has many reasons to be frightened, but I, at least, keep it inside where none of it shows-- so your assumption happen to be true, which doesn't mean I should play along with so I'll just remove myself if I can manage that
This is the only exit for you, sir
But it's a window
Why isn't anybody moving--?
Well, I was concentrating on changing the subject
And somebody set the table
Who's been filling you in?
(Looks back and forth)
I just made an observation.
Look, I don't even know what meal it's set for
(Other pours some cereal)
That doesn't seem very appropriate.
All meals are equally appropriate
Come on now-- time for breakfast was gone long ago.
It happens to be my favorite meal
Really? What's your normal breakfast
You can see for yourself
Well,I don't eat that stuff
Come to think of it, how can anybody justify eating that stuff
I don't believe this
You don't think I'm serious?
This is amazing material-- Somewhere inside this perfect grain of wheat, a vast store of energy is waiting to be released into the world.
Where do you get your information?
This is why I have breakfast, many times over. In search of what will never arrive? -- maybe so. But perhaps some day it does arrive; and I'm eternally incapable of recognizing my good fortune fooled.
Here are more wheat flakes for your breakfast, Sir
As you can imagine, I'm never satisfied
You wolf them down enthusiastically nevertheless
Yes I do. Hungry but never satisfied.
Please join me.
Just remind me. What time is it
I know it's evening. But I asked for breakfast nevertheless, because I hunger for the experience of new beginnings --
Maybe that's something special about this particular mouth.
Apparently it wants breakfast
But that desire is not visible. What's visible is what moves as it talks --what it swallows is words.
I had an urge to say "Ah" -- but I decided to swallow my words instead.
This could be important, Is each word spoken, swallowed through speaking
That gives me a funny feeling
It was my idea and now it's your idea
I've been forced to swallow that
It wasn't on purpose
Let's never speak about things that are supposed to be hidden
Right. By the saame token, we won't do what we can't help doing.
(Up, hesitate, kiss, )
What I have for you now sir, is a single, administrable, dose of energy
H: (recovering from the kiss)
Of course I remember-- it's in my breakfast cereal
Just a minute please. Allow me to confess what I always hoped to keep secret: I'm a very sloppy eater. What I need is attire that appropriately protects me from that soiling myself as the result of my sloppy eating habits. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry
( B Pulls off cloth, scattering cereal, to put cloth around neck as apron)
Yes. This should do it
I don't understand what's happening
It's simple. He wraps it around my body. Then the food that misses my mouth never reaches the part of me that's underneath
Maybe I should go outside the hotel for breakfast
What you mean is I've spoiled it for you
Not completely, bI'm making a quick mental comparison. This room, contricting because of four walls-- and the hypothetical city outside, full resturants with bright windows pouring in sunlight
Could I remind you it's night?
No, even this is solvable. Where can we go that for extra money-- breakfast can be served even at midnight.
I doubt it would work, sir
I think part of your imagining is the particular atmosphere of morning. The sunlight, the ambience of a new day beginning--
Don't worry, it never lives up to his expectations
Would you do me a tremendous favor?
Of course I would
You say yes, even without knowing what I'm going to ask?
Can you guess why?
I'm a bellboy
I almost forgot
What cam I do for you?
Could you collect those flakes of breakfast cereal you accidentally scattered over the floor--
I hope you don't plan on eating them, sir
I don't know yet
They've been soiled
I'd like to examine them
That seems fair
(Down on hands and knees)
Careful please! -- there's tremendous energy in each flake
Take the first few , so you can start examining these, while I continue gathering the others
Just put them on the table, thank you
But I think that 'put them on the table' is all you mean to say. You prefaced it with an extra word, sir
My mouth moves to excess, we've established that-- but it happens in anticipation of energy yet to come
Careful sir-- you yourself said you have no idea what happens next
I'm not in contact with what happens next, so I can't tell you in words-- but I can whirl my body straight into the future
W: (laughs, is dizzy)
You're causing us to lose our train of thought, sir
Speak for yourself
Try to understand, sir-- when I lose my train of thought, it's like losing contact with EVERYTHING ELSE and you can't IMAGINE how irrationally UPSET I GET!
Wait a minute--Are you afraid of me?
I don't think so
This is amazing--
Speaking for yourself, sir? Or for the entire collection of people surrounding you?
I thought I was alone
You are a total mystery to me, sir
Me? How is that possible?
Oh, believe it sir.
It will take much effort for me to believe such a thing.
Not at all, sir. Your suitcases for instance
What about them
What's in the suitcases, sir
Well-- which one?
B: (Many others out)
This is no problem. Certainly I should be able to tell you wnat is in this suitcase
When will this be, sir?
Well. . .When I have opened the suitcase
When will this be
Well,I can't open it without the strength to open it, and I can't open it because it is so strongly sealed that it resists me
Then you are not able to tell me what's hidden inside
But I will be able to tell you the very minute I open it!
But you haven't the strength, sir
Are you implying that with the passage of time you will acquire the required strength
No, I don't imagine I will
There-- you speak the truth, sir.
Yes, that is the truth as I see it
(Pause) --That is then, the truth of this suitcase
My point exactly
(Pause, to drawer) --Here's the key
Perhaps I won't open it just yet
That's fine with me
. . .I can hardly answer otherwise.
How come there's no radio
Since this is called the Hotel Radio, I would expect there to be a radio
Did you ring?
Yes. Since this hotel is named The Hotel Radio-- I'd expect to have a radio in my room
As far as I know-- there's no significance to the name Radio. It's just the name of the hotel
Yes, but a radio-- should be here. In this room
I don't understand the SHOPULD sir.
The name is the hotel radio
Yes. But you can't see the name from inside the hotel.
I can see it on this piece of stationary. I can see it on this postcard--
There you are
But I can't see a radio
There you are
Can't we do anything about this?
What I mean is-- whatever gets said in this room, passes right through me. No problem/
(Up to door, bounces off)
But you had a collision
It wasn't willed.
So it wasn't a collision
Can you stop the pain
Why should I do that
It's desirable for me to have pain stopped
Can you locate it
But it's pain
Something inside you quivers
Yes. It's resonating
How can I stop what you can't locate
By changing it's location
Ah, I can utilize an imaginary focus
I like that idea
Never mind, little bellboy
Somplace inside me a door must have been left open
(Pause, shuts something)
That's your problem, but it isn't my problem
Don't tell me there isn't a link between us, because if that was true we wouldn't be holding a conversation
A conversation is one escape mechanism I'd rather not use
ow that I'm alone I can tell the truth about things
Well-- about everything but myself
(Gets book. Opens)
My God. This book says it all
What book are you reading
Are you trying to hide it from me?
No. I just didn't want to be impolite by seeming to be involved with something else when you came into the room
Instead, you find a different way to be impolite
Tell me, and I correct myself
Show me the book
You probably won't find it as interesting as I did
(Reads, looks up)
I can make head or tails of this
(Gives it back)
Read it to me
Read it out loud?
Yes. If I hear it, I might comprehend better than just listening
All the words are run together so it's just letter after letter ad infinitum. I don't know how to pronounce that
But you read it to yourself?
Well-- I just projecy into it my own meanings
Ah, you've been keeping secrets
You own meanings
I don't think so
That's why I left a minute ago, and that's why I'm about to repeat myself
What I do is perfectly normal
You get one more chance
To do what?
(A brief pause. Goes)
Should I go back to the book? I don't think so. I think I was just fooling myself
I didn't expect you
Let me see the book
(Given, puts on shelf)
Now let's see if you can find what I've hidden in plain sight
(Looks around, no success)
Well-- you win
No I don't
I don't know where I put it
(Both close eyes. Whirl)
Well. We thought getting dizzy would help
--But it doesn't
I don't know-- maybe it helped
Right. I feel-- a little more normal at least.
(They shake hands)
What's in plain sight that I've hidden?
I have no idea, since it's hidden
I don't miss it
It's in plain sight, but you don't know what it is
I've decided it's that chair
That isn't what I hid in plain sight
Let me correct you. Until I decided to focus on it, it was hidden from me, so the choice was mine
The choice is still mine
Suppose I sit
I guess anything is possible
Just the opposite
OK. What's the object you hid in plain sight
You won't believe this, but I've forgotten what it was
You said everything was possible
Yes, it's possible you forgot, but it's also possible that's not true. So I better make an inventory. This chair, that lamps--
Wait a minute
Don't go so fast. Consider the chair before you move on to other possibilities
That's what I hid
Is that in retrospect
There's no way to avoid rfetrospect, is there
I don't think it was supposed to be avoided
Well-- what then
Hold your forehead
Now say 'retrospect'
But say it while holding your forehead
Whatever way comes naturally
This doesn't come naturally
'Retrospect'. But there's nothing natural about this
What do you think it is I hid in plain sight
How can it be when you already confirmed it
--Do something that comes naturally
(Releases hands, sits back)
At this moment I'm only aware of probably ten per cent of the material that fills this room-- you have a wide open field
I'd say YOU have a wide open field
Whatever you hide-- I decide not to find
Then it stays hidden
That's OK by me
That's OK by me too
but look into the next room
In one, single room, in the hotel radio, I think there's a radio
Is it always in the same room?
I don't follow you
Follow the radio as it moves from room to room
I have no reason to believe it moves from room to room
Let's put it this way. What is broadcast goes to a multitude of rooms and other places. The radio itself is specific in its location
Unless it moves
Is this magic?
Is this divided between part magic and part not
Is this whole building the Hotel radio?
Another way of looking at it--
--Or is only a part of the building such a hotel
--Such a radio.
This poses a mental trap
When I'm trapped, I sparkle.
Yes. Those are the vibs I'm getting
Where do you get vibes
(Slowly, holds head)
Here of course. IS THERE A JEWEL IN THIS HEAD?
I have to suppose so
Check a mirror
I'm not the subject
On and off-- believe me, you're the subject
I'm just passing through
How appropriate-- this is a hotel. You see what that means? Since it's appropriate for a hotel, it fits the definition one hundred per cent that your presence here is a kind of passing through, and since it's such a very good fit, there's nothing TRANSIENT about it. It's once and for always
Where's the radio
--In the Hotel radio?
This is a trap
That has certain advantages
In other words, YOU KNOW, as opposed to a perminent state of being uninformed
I feel uninformed
But that's just a feeling. That's just the result of being someplace where you don't normally belong, so take advantage of the slight disoroentation and pick up on whatever it is that's floating through the air or air-waves and say 'Here I am in the Hotel radio, TRAPPED-- knock knock knock-- look how I sparkle.
(Knock on the door)
I'm sorry. It's a mistake
Come in anyway
I don't think I'll do that
You see? One thing is proved
You're REALLY TRAPPED. So why don't we both just hold our heads, and together-- we'll spend alot of time just doing that thing that heads do better than anything else, here--
--I know where
--In the Hotel radio. Hello! Hello! This is the Hotel radio!
You won't believe this of me. I am ruled by emotion
I can see that on your face
My God, I didn't know that
Of course. I can see it in the way you hold your body
What is my position
You're asking me to speak about something that escapes anguage
Well, your position is very consistent
I want to make a gift
This is my manuscript, from which I have drained all wisdom
Will I be able to fill it with my own emotions?
When you read it?
Who said anything about emotions
I know, but I can't control them
Well, I don't know if my book will appeal to you
It's what I want
I can't answer that until I've read it
Suppose you found it unreadable
So far, that's true
Here, let me put it in this locked cabinet
This is indeed, food for thought
Then you've misunderstood me completely
Wait a minute-- it was you, that was supposed to understand me.
I know. So let my failure be my failure, and yours-- well, I can't speak to that. I can only register it in my mind and then, once and for all, cast it out
Do I move differently now?
I couldn't say
You had certain opinions about my posture
I still do
What are they
I can't say
I thought maybe--
--I'd change my mind? Yes. but I can't talk about it
What kind of effect does it have on you
Hey-- did somebody say these lips were sealed?
Right. Not exactly. Therefore don't press me, or I'll turn into a whole other person and that will be totally confusing
I don't mind.
Well, responding to that kind of insult, I may just force my way into this cabinet
It's really strong, isn't it.
I'm just as surprised as you are
(Hotel Radio, hello, radio Hotel)
Can I help?
No. But help.
It's one of my favorite words. No. It's my favorite word.
I help whenever I get help
The more times you can use the word help in a sentence, the more it helps.
Help yourself to the word help, which is how I help myself
Help yourself to some fruit
I don't think I should eat right now
One of the most potent ideas I ever had, ever, was the idea that in the center of the fruit was a pit, and the pit was the radio in the center of the fruit. And the whole fruit. . .helps, the radio in the center of the fruit.
My ear, helps
My ear was help also
Does this help? My ear helps
Have some fruit please
Eat it, or let it turn into a radio?
Please, have some fruit
Go ahead, reach for some fruitMaybe we'll just listen to some fruit
No, reach for some fruit
This may hurt somebody, but pain is the way in which people acquire knowledge, so hurting isn't what happens. So it won't hurt
I thought you were going to sAw wood, but now that I realize you're going to saw my arm. I'm in the process of detaching myself from that too.
Here it is
Ah, is that another one of my arms?
Yes, the only problem is --it's already been sawed off apparently
You were perfectly right. It didn't hurt
Is this help or is this a kind of torture
I didn't hear you the first time
There was no second time
Then I made a mistake
I never know which of my mistakes are on purpose
You mean, an inner voice is guiding you
I don't give it a name
Maybe that's a mistake
If it is, I don't want to be told
You couldn't know if I was right
Oh, I always assume that
It's one of your better mistakes
Or else, it's one of YOUR better mistakes
Does it help
It's a kind of turture
You mean it hurts?
Then why is it a kind of torture
I said, a kind of torture
That was one of my mistakes
Then it isn't torture at all
A kind of productive torture
Think about it, meaning this-- do I attract more of your attention?
Isn't it a little more intense?
Let's say-- I wilt under this intense scrutiny
In that case, I'll offer to take back the robe
I want you to find out more about me
Just like that
No-- it fuels me
I have no questions to ask you
So I gather. That's why this robe was such an excellent idea
It makes you seem. . .
Please. No such wisdom
I've come to a point in my life, after years spent mining nuggets of wisdom
I had that feeling
After years mining nuggets of wisdom, I say no more wisdom.
It was written.
As opposed to
I didn't say
I know. Not yet
You won't pull it out of me. That's why I like this robe
I can sort of wrap it around myself
I want to hear-- why no more wisdom. Why would anybody reject wisdom
Its a distraction
No-- a distraction
We don't know yes, do we.
Do you remember somebody saying-- I didn't hear you the first time
And there was only a first time
There was a distraction, or an attempt at distraction, as always. That's what I reject
You said you reject wisdom
But you didn't reject the robe
I can sort of wrap it around me
Now , reach for the fruit
I have no magic, no inner drive
Should I put this away?
(Lock up saw)
It doesn't help
What I'm cut off from is the utter bafflement with things that heretofore-- drives me/
You are no longer baffled by things
Right. That's what I've achieved. utter sterility
Well, it's true. Nothing is a mysteru in the face of genuine pain
Shoul;d we get on with the sawing?
Might as well.
The magic of the world no longer exists for me. So. What am I left with. The world
The entire world?
But doesn't the world include the magic of the world? Isn't that part of the world?
Yes. But it is not magic
What is it
It's the world
My position is, the world includes magic
It's a matter of opinion
Therefore my opinion exists. So it's part of the world
Right. No magic
Please open your heart to me
I just did
I certainly don't know how to deal with that
Could I offer you one of my favorite objects
Well-- this book
(Given, it falls apart)
It fell apart on me
You can still read it by picking up independent pages
Actually, it's a book I've read
What kind of effect did it have on you
It entertained me
Is that all
Yes. But if I were to re-read it, the effect might be different
That's why it's my favorite
I thought it was perhaps a favorite because it fell apart when you picked it up.
No. It fell apart when it went from my hands to yours
I didn't know what to expect
You still haven't collected the pages
No don't. Leave them there
Then you don't want me to read it after all
You're right. Its as an object its my favorite, not as a book
I've read it
It passes the time.
Look into the next room to see the person who I believe is truly beautiful
It is true. But I do not believe the person is as beautiful as you believe she is beautiful
Why is that
It is true, now that I remember again, she is beautiful
Yes. She is truly beautiful
(Both sink to floor. Stretched out)
Why are you both on the floor
We have seen the beautiful woman
Who is that
The woman in the next room
Then we must have been mistakem
How could you be mistaken about such an amazing thing
This is not something that can be answered
(Bell. Over phone)
Your boat is ready for delivery
There's a problem. My boat is ready for delivery, but it will never fit into this relatively small room
Then you have no choice but to refuse delivery
I'm sorry, but I have to refuse delivery at this time
Don't feel too sad about this-- we can improvise
Nono-- if it's not the real thing I'm not interested
(Enter, masked, wings?)
Don't you realize? This is the beautiful woman we saw in the next room
Can we verify this?
Don't touch her
I think that's true. We mustn't touch her
Then we have no real idea--
Oh, I think we do
I think it was a sign, that there was an attempt to deliver the boat
Are you really sure we shouldn't attempt some kind of mock-up?
How would you go about that
We'd pile all the furniture in the middle of the room
That wouldn't amount to much
We'd set it on fire
And risk burning down the entire house?
It might be worth it
Look-- she's leaving
(She stops. Pause)
No, you still don't have permission
(Goes to desk)
What are you doing?
I'm going to write something down
What's the date
Jesus-- I have no idea
Isn't that a little unusual?
Yes. Usually I know the date
Pick a number at random
No thank you. If the date is un-identifable, let's accept that as reality
I'm amazed you agree to something that's so out of character
I fugured it out
I'm surrounded by amazing people
Yes. But which one
(He gets coat)
Hesitating? (He goes. Woman in)
I'd say you're attractive. But your beauty does not overwhelm me
What do you mean-- look away and then look back a second time?
See? You can't take your eyes off me
(Returns) --Look who's here
Oh course. It's the woman who was in the next room
Right. The one you found amazingly beautiful
I still do (Goes into next room)
Where are you going?
I'm putting away my coat
I hope he's not going to do something foolish
Don't think I've changed my mind. I still find you amazingly beautiful
Oh, I don't think so
(She turns back to us? mount to throne? (Pause, others stagger)
Oh my God, she's amazingly beautiful
(Music rises, all fall)
I've always been afraid to show my face, out of a terrible fear the outer reality that is me would prove to be but a poor immitation of the inner reality. Or vice versa. . . . In fact, the world is doubly unfair to me. And I take my revenge through pure evil
Just think. I wanted tro be an angel
When was that
I wanted to be an angel
Did you want wings
Then in what sense did you want to be an angel
I wanted to be. . .molecularly re-constituted
Ok. Drink this
Of course. That's why it's so enjoyable
OK. Back me into your favorite corner
Now there is a whole new set of possibilities
I'd rather know you than get to know you
What's the difference
You don't seriously want to know
--See? Would you admit-- you've just been backed into a corner?
After a suitable period of ravishing reminiscence, I suddenly realize how important it is to be totally disconnected from all nostalgia, all my most beautiful memories. So I am now ready for anything, really. Purged of all normal, emotional pre-conditioning
I love you
I was waiting to hear that. But now that it's happened, I can truly say, it's like the experience of talking to myself
I love you
I love you
I love you
Are we being equally sincere?
I'm sure. . .that we are being . . .equally sincere
(Both exit) (H bang door)
Excuse me, can I be of any help?
You want help?
Indicate whether or not you want help
You win. No matter what happens, whether or not I respond or don't, because if I respond, no matter how, you'll always be able to maintAin-- ah, that response or lack of response indicates to me that help is being requested
I have no way to effectively proclaim -- no, I don't want help
Even if I left the room-- I could be running away because I don't want to face the fact of my being here because I want help here-- so I doubly need it
Don't run away, sir
There is so much you could teach me if you tried
I have tried
Your example could teach me more than what youe you consciously could teach
I could be totally cartured by your example
That's the word I would use
OK. I captured you
No, I say you could.
Try being more mysterious. Let the mysteriousness in you be there, without being controlled by all the things you understand or believe in. Just let the mysteriousness come to the surface.
That sounds like a plan of action you could put into practice without my presence; something you could do all by yourself.
No. I'd need you or somebody like you to be the example.
I don't know why. All I know is that the mysteriousness in me doesn't help me. I can't see it-- I can let it out into the world, but then it doesn't effect me. But if it comes through somebody else, and I'm captured by it-- then I'm completely learning something
Well, I'll bear that in mind
Are you serious?
Yes. I'm serious
I'll try to change the way in which I perceive you
I'll try to perceive the mysteriousness in you
Then it's something we'll be doing together
Suppose I agreed to try, without knowing what I meant by saying that.
Yes. I can see the logic in that
What do you think is happening to you?
Maybe a total re-structuring of my personality. Maybe everything that used to satisfy me, now no longer does so
That would be an amazing thing to have happen to one
Yes. Wouldn't it
You really think that's what's happening to you?
I like you
In what way
I just. . .find you very sympathetic
Well. Thank you.
I agree I may have ordered this, but I have no recollection of doing so
Can I tell you the truth
You didn't order this
I think you're just trying to provoke me
That would be acceptable, but it isn;'t the case
I don't follow any of this
You aren;'t supposed to. It's between him and me
But I've never known your memory to be bad
You don't know me that well
Yes. But not WELL acquainted
Of course we are
Are you truing to provoke me
I think you're suffering from some kind of potentially dangerous delusion
I get it, because twice in a row I accued somebody of trying to provoke me, that's a dangerous delusion
It could be
I have a confession to make
I'm part of a secret group; a group of people who use various techniques that disrupt their own lives
You just told me about it
So how could it be secret
I broke the rules
Inadvertently or on purpose
I have a confession to make
I'm part of the same organization
That must be why I found you congenial
Are you sure I'm telling the truth?
It's a matter of choice
Whether or not I believe you.
Right. Because your memory is bad.
Which may or not be volentary-- but I don't have to tell you that since you're a member of the same organization.
It sounds to me like he doesn't believe you.
What do you think. Would everybody in the organization know about everybody else in the organization?
Suppose, just suppose, I assumed the mantle of one who understopod very well, the rules of this particular game
Try to confuse me
I may not be up to that
This is something I can't talk about
I've been pre-empted
It's not a who
What is it that has pre-empted
--It's the sound of my own voice
I thought I recognized that
You did? Then I was right, my friend-- you do indeed lead me into the promised land
In one sense I know what you're talking about
Outside the rules of the game, there are no rules. In other words there are no rules outside the rules of the game.
Of course, in a sense I know what you're talking about.
I'd like to be alone
Be exact. Say that what you'd really like is not so much to be alone, as to be releaved of my presence
That's true. Your attitude towards me is oppressive
That's not OK
He went into his room, and shut the door forever
Ah. This is my throne
(Sit, music rise, sleep)
Is that something about the way people die?
No. It's something about the way people come to terms with wanting to go on living.
Once upon a time, this cold and hostile atmosphere would have delighted me.
Ah. I sau 'once upon a time'. That must mean-- now
This isn't once upon a time
Of course it is once upon a time. See how the light bounces off the back of my hand, off my fingers? This is a genuine invitation
Oh, you're not invited-- but here you are.
Can I take my seat at your table?
Tell me again what's already decided.
Here I am.
Once upon a time
What frigid glares you sweep in my direction
What parts of the body pick up on that.
Well, my eyes are well connected
The eyes seem to spread through some invisible network to all points on the body's surface
So cold means-- cold
Which is a paradox, because cold isn't really visible, just certain conventional signs of coldness
But of course-- one want to feel energized
Dod you ever notice that vista?
In my dreams
Ah, once upon a time
It won't work
Slap yourself again
Then it wouldn't be slapping myself, it would be me responding to your instructions
It would be about a kind of hypnotic behavior
Then somebody better tie your hands to the table, because my powers of suggestion are so powerful it's very hard for anybody to resist
(Other goes, gets rope, ties self)
Let's get on with the day's activities
(other moves, table moves)
Hey! Nobody said move the table!
Untie me please
Then I can't perform even the simplest activities without disrupting your equlibrium
Right. Isn't that why I'm here?
Haven't you noticed?
I can get out of this by myself if I choose
I'm not disappointed
I didn't think you would be
Ah, your understanding of my motives plunges how deep, exactly?
It stops on thre absolute surface
I hope so
Here's a hint
No. Better not give any hints. You're so very quick to psyche things out, and I suddenly prefer the placid frigidity of total explination.
So: I will now explain my motives.
I don't have any
I don't have any.
none at all. That's why I like it here. Once upon a time. That's just a perspective on things, you understand.
Once upon a time, a man entered a room
and sat down at a table.
Ah, I've been here before, he said. And in more than one sense, he was telling the truth.
Well, quite enough of an accomplished for one day. So let's see what tomorrow brings. Probably more of the same
Don't you think it's time to shift geers?
Try letting this room, re-constituted, as a perfect image of myself, do the speaking instead of me speaking
Then YOU'D be speaking
Yes. I'd be speaking
But who's speaking now. I mean, when I'm not.
Well-- when you're not speaking, --it's you.
And when I AM speaking?
Well-- at such times, we observe moments of silence
Haven't you arranged for my entertainment?
What am I supposed to do for ther rest of the afternoon
I don't know
What would happen if I made a heartfelt request. Entertain me.
I'm thinking about this. What I'm thinking. . .is that I'd rather be connecting with the universe itself, rather than with one of the universe's representatives
What ytou tell me is unacceptable
What comes pouring out of me is unacceptable. I see.
All power is unacceptable
Let's postulate somebody whi needs help
I can't imagine this catagory
(The sky falls)
Let's say-- nothing happens. Let's say the life is wasted. Let's say it's potential brilliance isn't permitted to flower, the potential flower-like brilliance of this life. My life, for instance.
Does this serve the universe's purposes?
Yes, it does.
This is just what life needs
A sinking into itself.
A black hole of a life, overich to the point of self consumation.
Terrible. How can you say that's what life needs? I'd say that drains life of potential and therefore impovrishes life.
But that's what life needs-- impoverishment. And the reason life needs impoverishment is that life is simply a cancerous browith on the beautiful emptiness of the universe. Now think about it. If God had wanted--
Let's leave God out of this.
Oh, I'm just using it as a convenient term
It confuses the issue
I'll drop it
I'm dropping God for your benifit.
Whgat I want you to see is this. The created universe seems to be presented to us in two ways at once.
One view-- daily life, solid objects, other persons with personalities, the facts of the so-called world of lived experience.
Second view, laborously arrived at through the evolution of most rigorous human research-- the world as high energy particles that even in themselves don't really exist, but only as potential factors in some grand equasion of possibility-- a world like a net in which the structure is mostly emptiness, and the very net itself-- even that filigree woven on nothingness is in fact-- nothing, but something that seems to arise when two nothings come into momentary conjunction-- like a thought entertained but immediately seen to be inopperable.
Sop-- this is our pinacle of evolved scientific and metaphysical thought-- to realize that everything built-- our human way of flowering being just that-- building-- and everything built from bridges to intellectual systems to recognizable human beings with traits and proclivities-- all this in fact doesn't exist-- is but a fiction, projected construct on a network of underlying non-existing atomic nothings, atomic shadows of potentia.
So-- to withdraw into that nothing by not letting my life flower.
Take one who does the opposite. He compunds the lie.
My point is-- is the universe is constituted this way-- the most profound of human efforts being to discover the non-materiality of all things--
then to flower is to build, is to disguise reality, with the facade of what has been built on unreal foundations. A kind of cancer. This-- human flowering-- a kind of cancer. And that I reject. I rather-- implode. I return the self to its roots. I serve the universe's truth through copntraction, rather than pointless expansion and proliferation.
How do know the universe's purpose isn't precisely the opposite of what you say. Isn't the miracle of building things out of this non-material stuff-- making it flower--
Ah-- you mean the universe's purpose is to lie?
Not to lie: to build. Is it lying to take. . .clay, and make bricks that then make a complex and beautiful building?
Are you thinking about your answer?
No. I have no answer
Then I win
No. I still have my feelings. It's still a hundred per-cent me. All my life-- I too wanted to flower, to build, to contribute. To what end? Now -- at peace for the first time-- I don't want to do any of that
To be blunt-- you've given up
That's your choice
Oh no, what it is, isn't sad
Well, we have a difference of opinion
There's no such thing
This is really of no interest to me
Ah. He was here, now he's not here. I hardly notice the difference.
What a peverse man I've become
There is a mystery here
And mysteries. . .should never be solved
What an interesting rule-- possibly God's rule-- assuming we DON'T leave God out of things-- his rule, I suddenly realize or imagine, same thing, his rule must be-- mysteries should never be solved.
Here's something to drink
Not unless I know what I'm drinking
I can't promise
Then I won't drink
Let's just suppose this lable says "I am very good to drink"
It's true, it says, I am very good to drink
In that case--?
Yes, let's try it
(drink, shake (cantrix table'lhote)
This is it, this is what it's all about
This is it
Oh my God, is this behind it all
This is it
He's right--this is as good as it gets, this is it!